blue moon (2)

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Nuts, But Not Mine ©

Well Itisi some real news from the home front.
Here I am again.
The year is almost over and I find myself single again.
Am I bitter?
Yes, but not because we broke up but because of the way it was done.
For starters I was I was betrayed.
She signed up on a dating site while still going out with me.
She didn’t have the stones to come to me first and tell me she wanted out but kept me on the ropes sitting at home thinking there was a woman in my life when if fact there wasn’t
I knew there was something wrong a few weeks earlier and I went prowling around and I found her.
I didn’t confront her I just sat back and waited to see what she would do but like I said she didn’t have the stones to say anything to me.
I had to phone her and make her give me an answer but she still denied she wasn’t looking for someone else.

If there is a nightmare situation when it comes to long distance relationships this would be one of them
I think to myself where did I go wrong.
When she went for surgery I was there taking care of her and driving her father around to appointments
When her son fucked up on a trip to Florida while she was with me in Canada I consoled her and had to swallow my principles to the point I almost puked but because I loved her… then I offered to shield the boy even take him here to Canada to avoid any trouble.
Does any of that count?
Are all women like this?
I hope not.

You would think as a fucken courtesy she would have at least broken up with me like a real woman instead of slithering around in the grass like she did.
Am I bitter yes but not for her leaving but for bringing her into my family.
At me for thinking she was a better person that she actually was, is.
Looking at her history I should have seen it much earlier but love blinds us to the point we even forget our moral obligations.
It’s a sad day but not in my life.
I can actually take a breath of freedom and pity the next bastard.

Saturday, August 02, 2014

The Walker News ©

I’ll just pretend I haven’t been gone for I don’t know how long.
I have so much to blog about I have stopped blogging.

The world is gone to hell and back.
They are talking about marriage licenses that will have to be renewed every five years thus avoiding divorces, you just don't renew.
I wonder if you would have to go for an emissions test every two years as well.
Better stop eating tex-mex food if you do.

The United States still has a Black president.
To be honest with you I thought he would have been shot by Dick Cheney in a golfing accident by now.

I like Obama.
You know who else I like, John McCain
I bet if Party lines were abolished the world would be a lot better place.
Just like I believe if we nuked the Middle East all our problems would be over and just think how many condos they could build there in 500 years when its safe from radiation.

Germany won the world cup and Brazil is still suffering from poverty.

They are planning on sending astronauts to Mars.
Apparently they will have to sleep for three years.
Now, not to sound prejudice or racist in any way but just going by the stereotypical representation portrayed by Hollywood over the last hundred years, isn't this just another job suited for illegal Mexicans?
I’m just saying.

There is a major Ebola outbreak in Africa, U.N. workers have evacuated the area but say even though the best authority to the disease died from it we are told there is nothing to worry about.
In other news, displaced U.N. workers have volunteered for the mission to Mars

Toyota stock holders celebrated another GM recall.

Putin denies giving ground to air missiles to Ukrainian separatists and its true.
He gave them to the Russian soldiers before they became Ukrainian separatists

Jay Leno is gone, Letterman is still here and Conan has made Purgatory his home.

This is just a bit what has been going on in the world which in some way still effects you and me.
T’ill next time, whenever the fuck that will be, chow and good health, wealth to everyone.

Have a nice weekend


Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Speed Limit Is 55 ©

Today I turn 55. Sounds more like a speed limit and in some way it is.
It’s usually the speed I have to run to the washroom more often now than I used too when I was younger. It’s funny, when I was younger I would just piss behind a tree but as I got older I would rather fight to get to the washroom before I piss my pants.
I guess it’s a matter of pride.

 Fifty-five, sounds like a big number, but is it?
It’s but a spec of a second in time when we compare it to the universe who in it’s self is a spec in time its own reality.
In these 55 years I have witnessed a lot of shit.
Smoked a lot of it too.

I embraced rock and roll as my mantra, not because of it’s loud anger or its audacious expression of life from its most primal level of being but because it said it plain and simply in a language I understood.
Even when the lines were blurred the lyrics made sense to those of us who lived those words.

As those words gripped your soul with reality it was the thunder behind them that pulsed the blood through your veins.
Disco came and we all took a whirl but it only gave us the thunder to keep us moving.
Rap, I have always bad mouthed rap and I will admit I have been unfair, not that I like it now but I might of taken it more seriously if they'd pulled their pants up from the start.
I had to cut rappers some slack one day when I heard some rap on the radio.
It’s not so much that I agreed with it but at least I could understand what he was talking about, unlike Bob Dylan singing.

Rock n roll, from the cave men to the Rolling Stones, “who are almost just as old”, have beaten the drums that tell us about living. Its been said rock n roll crawled out of rhythm and blues who in itself comes out of blues gospel and country music.
At least that’s what the experts say but when I look at their research they fail to point out that all of these genres that are supposedly all linked together have one thing in common.
That's the common person, you and I.

So all that said, on my 55th birthday I share with you one of my favorites.


 Have a nice day


Friday, March 14, 2014

Calling Ground Control ©

Fuck the Bermuda triangle, stay away from the South China Sea.
Fight MH370 leaves Malaysia for Beijing then poof, gone.
Six days and not a spec of debris.
Forty ships and forty planes from an international force are searching the area for any possible sign for the missing plane with its over 200 passengers.
Families of said passengers desperately waiting for some word about their loved ones fate.
Six days now and nothing.

Are they looking in the right place?
They have brought in satellites to help in the search but the only thing they found with them were two sperm whales getting in on.
Billions of dollars in technology and the best they can do is whale sex.
Is there a you tube post I can watch?
Maybe it’s on facebook.

Now they are saying for four hours after the plane disappeared from radar it’s Rolls Royse engines were still communicating with the mother plant.
Huh, I don’t know what’s stranger, the fact that the engines knew the plane was still flying around for four hours after it disappeared and the airport didn’t or that the engines can communicate with the plant they were made in via satellite and I can’t get a cell tower for a signal on my phone.

I have been listening to the different possibilities but have yet to hear one mention Aliens or some kind of time dimensional shift sending those poor bastards to a different realm of time or space.
Yeah, yeah it sounds nuts until you wake up one day and you’re being probed by some ugly fuck and it isn’t Saturday morning.
Then we have to beg Will Smith and Jeff Goldbloom to save us.

You know, I don’t feel bad any more about loosing my cell phone in the house, these fucks lost a giant airplane worth millions.
You would think for all that money someone would have thought to put in find plane features like we have for the phone.

Have a nice weekend


Monday, March 10, 2014

Pussy Footing Around ©

So I am laying on the couch watching the news about the happenings going on in the Ukraine.
Now I have an opinion on the situation but this post isn’t about my opinion but more about the posturing the world and the parties involved are performing.
Let’s face it, it’s already a done deal but for the dancing.

As I am watching the TV, two of my four cats come bouncing in like two seasoned fighters, circling each other trying not to expose a vulnerable target for the other to attack.
Like two black panthers, mother, daughter slowly closed the gap between them coiled up like two heavy duty springs ready to explode in a cascade of claws and fur.

Looking away from the TV and Putin’s “I don’t give a fuck about anyone” look, Alice sprung at her mother, wrapping herself around her neck clawing and biting as hard and as fast as she could.

Just as Obama came on the news babbling about something I didn’t hear but I could hear him telepathically speaking to Putin,
“ What the fuck are you doing bitch|?
“Couldn’t you have done all this quietly or waited until I was gone from office”?
“Can’t you see I got my hands full with heath care, immigration and that fucken cry baby Biden constantly whining about Hillary running for president but no, you have to go out there stomping your little feet in those big shoes pissing everyone off and blaming me again for not doing something”.

That’s when Elvira rolled over Alice and tore into her belly.
Screaming with pain Alice tried to escape but she was done and knew it so she went limp giving up.
This is where the point I am trying to make come to light.
When Elvira was sure she had won, she starts licking the others ass and this isn’t the first time I have seen this.
Every time the battle is over the winner licks the other ones ass.

Do these animals know something that we don’t or did they find my stash and are getting high.
But you know, as I am sitting here thinking about this, we do it too.
Think about it.
WWII, The bad guys, Italy, Germany, Japan.
They were responsible for destroying most of the world and the architects behind the annihilation of millions of souls.
We, the allies kicked their butts and won.
We beat them so bad they had to bend over for us to lick their butts after the war so they could become better off than we are today.
Same thing isn’t it?.
The victor gets to suck ass and watch their economy go down the drain while the vanquished rise out of the ashes better than they started and with our tax money to boot.
Maybe we need to loose once in a while to get our asses licked?
I wonder who has the longer tongue, Putin or Obama?
The only thing we know for sure is as politicians they will be forked tongues.

As Elvira licked away, out of the corner of my eye I spot Salem, the 30 pound tomcat walk by down the hall with a medium pizza box clenched in his mouth eagerly being followed by his son Ozzy.
I see more ass licking down the road.

Have a nice day


Monday, March 03, 2014

Cell Me ©

Bloody technology is making me crazy and I am supposed to understand this shit better than the average person but no.
I’m a stump on some things like cell phones.
Over the last two decades I have had a dozen or so cell phones.
In the last 4 years though I have gone through no less than 6 cell phones (with a price tag of $2300), four of which were in the last four months.
First one was a Motorola flip phone which worked great until I flipped it one day and it flew away from the bottom part of the phone.
Next I got a slider phone which I must say I loved to text with but so did my daughter who took that and gave me a brand new …….. fucken flip phone.
Granted it was a Samsung but I was done with flip phone.
The thing would cut off when I needed it the most.

“Hi Mike, it’s Walker, yeah, I got off the 401 and turned left on service road 39 about 40 minutes ago and I still haven’t come to country road 22 yet”.
These people must have run out of names.
“What, what do you mean I was supposed to turn left on country road 22 first ?”
“There was no Country road 22…….the second left…. But your email said just first left?”
My gas gauge said I was at a half quarter tank.
What it didn’t say was, I was lost in the boonies.

“So what is the best way back to your place?”
“Yeah, keep going until I hit a stop sign, yeah then I turn……hello…Mike?”
Damn blue tooth must be dead.
Pull over and grab at the phone but there is no one at the other end because there are no more bars on the phone.

I figure go to the stop sign and try calling again from there.
About 5 kilometres down the road I come to a four way stop.
I pull over and try the phone again.
It rang about 4 times when Mike picked it up, right before the battery died.
You know, I don’t have a charger in the car.
You know because most of us don;t until this shit happens then we get one.

In front of me I have three choices, straight, right or left.
Lighting up a cigarette I get logical on it and came to the conclusion that left was the one because straight would be going farther, right would likely take me away and left felt like it would swing back.
Sounds logical to me.
Blowing a mouthful of smoke out the window I noticed a scarecrow in the field next to me.
It was a scary one, it had its pants down around its ankles like a rapper.

I went left and at first is swung east for the longest time then went a little southwest for a bit then east again and about half an hour later I came up to a side road that looked like it went north.
What to do, gas gauge didn’t look good.
I turn north and drove for about twenty minutes when I came to another another four way stop.
Now what?
I look at the phone to see if maybe the phone fairy charged it for me but it was still dead.
I pulled out another smoke to think on it and as I sat there I noticed another scarecrow across the intersection.
People around here like ugly scarecrows.

Logically if I turn right I would be going east according to my inner compass so I turn right and must have drove for half an hour in the middle of nowhere before I came a a road turning right.
This time I decided to keep going straight and twenty minutes or so later came to another damn four way stop and another one of those damn scarecrows.
I sat there staring in every direction and each time my eyes ended up on the scarecrow.
It’s the same scarecrow but I saw it from different sides each time.
This whole fucken area is a huge cul de or kiss my sac.
What idiots make these roads.
So I looked at the whole thing from the beginning and I did what I should have done from the start.
Turn around and go back the way I came in the first place.
I found a gas station as soon as I got to the 401 and from there I went home.
To hell with Mike, my damn phone and my inner compass..

So I got a blackberry.
Never had one of those.
It looked small and compact with a keyboard for the texting I never do.
It didn’t work out.
My fat finger wasn’t made for poking a little button to make things work.
Works great for poking a fat juicy clit but not a blackberry.

One month it lasted before I replaced it with a Iphone 4.
Piece of shit that turned out to be.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great looking phone but it has a flaw.
When its sitting flat on the table I get 3-4 bar but when you pick it up it looses service.
You have to hold it with two fingers like you would hold a stinky diaper to get it to at least one bar maybe two.
One week.

Now I have a Samsung S4, I love it.
I does shit that I don’t even need.
It knows when I'm looking it and when I look away it closes but when I look back it comes on.
It thinks I don’t know but I know, Phone Police “wink”.

When I wave a hand over it is senses it and turns on and when I pull it away it goes off.
It’s cool.
Saves energy that way but it did fuck me up the other day when I brought it upstairs with me and left it on the night stand.
It kept going on and off continuously.
Off, on, off, on , off, on…. But when I leaned up to look at it there was nothing wrong until I put it down and lay back in bed.
This went on a couple of times before I came to me.
I turned the phone off and lay back in bed.
Never jerk off with your cell phone on.

Have a nice day

Oh the iphone 4 makes a great Itouch for music