It’s 8 am and I’m sitting here stoned and looking at another
5 rolled joints.
Today I am taking a break from life.
The cats are joisting in the corner with the smallest one
winning by the looks of it.
I feel like a general who has been winning all the battles
but loosing the war
On top of what
responsibilities I had I have had to help a couple of friends in need, morally
and physically being there for some tough news.
Last month as I was watching the TV around 10pm I get a call
from a friend who is not feeling well.
I have been telling her for years she has to quit drinking.
She drinks no less than a litre of wine in a few hours, gets
drunk and passes out.
She says her nose has been bleeding for hours and won’t stop
and she doesn’t feel so good.
So I get up and drive over to her place.
Using the spare keys she left with me in case something ever
happened I walk in and find her sprawled on the floor trying to get up.
Hauling her ass up she puts on her outer gear and we climb
the stairs from her tomb apartment to the outside where she throws up and
stream of blood across the white snow.
I’m thinking this can’t be a good thing.
I put her in the back seat and peeled off actually more like
slid off to the hospital.
Pulling up to emergency I mostly carried her to reception
where the nurse put her in a wheelchair and asked us to wait in the reception
In the reception area there were about 50 people already
there waiting to see a doctor.
I hate this.
First I hate hospitals yet I find myself always in one for someone
Then there is the 6-8 hour wait in emergency.
Why do they even call it that I don’t know for a place for
an emergency they should take a long time getting to you.
So we are sitting next to these people who she starts
convulsing and projectile vomit flies out of her mouth all of which is red and
black blood clots.
I mean., lots AND LOTS OF IT.
I freaked out but not as much as the rest of the people in
the room as they watchthe growing lake of blood around us on the floor.
When I looked around the room people got so scared the ran
out of emergency probably thinking there were in the presence of an Ebola
I the nurses ran over and rushed her off to the back where
they started to undress her.
I sat on the other side of the curtain waiting.
After a few hours they determined, she was anaemic hence the
nose bleeds and because she hadn’t pinched her nose properly the blood was
running down her throat and pooling her stomach then she would puke it out.
That wasn’t her only problem,
She was going through alcohol with drawls and her body started shaking
It took three of us to hold her down until they could strap
her into the bed.
After some blood work they drugged her up and put her on a
That’s when I turned and left the hospital only to find a
forty-dollar ticket on the car.
In the morning 7 am to be exact the phone rings, it’s buddy
and he needs to go to the hospital.
Are you fucken kidding me and he has to go to a hospital at
the other end of town.
Pardon me while I have another joint.
Is 9 am to early for a beer?
Yeah, maybe, I’ll have a scotch instead…..
Single malt scotch after Kellogg’s cornflakes don’t go so
Oh yeah much better now
LA LA LA
Oh, oh yeah, so here I am at 7am dragging my arse out of
bed, fighting with two cats for my pants and one who likes untying my boot
while I am tying up the other one.
Twenty minutes later I am in the hospital waiting room of
yet another hospital.
I swear if he started puking blood……..
Eight hours later I drive him home.
As I was driving off I figured I would go to the other
hospital to see how my other friend was doing.
I had called her son the night before to inform him his
mother was at the hospital.
They don’t always get along and it’s mostly because of her
Parking the car in the lot this time I marched through
emergency towards the restricted area where I gauged me steps to someone
walking towards the door from the other side so that when they opened the door
and walked through a step passed them and into the back without the hassle of
being told I wasn’t on her family list.
Walking past rows of full beds I find hers.
Curtain wide open she is sitting on the side of the bed,
topless and in a jumbo diaper.
At that moment all I could think of was Homer Simpson.
Hello, a little common decency would be fucken nice.
I walked into the cubical and asked how she was.
I looked into her eyes and she was totally out of it.
I was jealous.
Turning I took a hospital robe from a cart and covered her tits
then pushed her back onto the bed and covered the bottom of her body.
Inside I was pissed and wanted to rip someone apart for how
I had found her but I just sat there and waited for someone to show up which
After I got the report from the doctor I put in my ten cents
of what I found and how people should be treated.
He wasn’t amused with what I told him I found but I don’t
expect him to care much either.
That evening my mother called screaming my father was
I am out the door and next door in a blink
My father was grasping the counter trying to stay up with my
mother crying and freaking out next to him.
He has had the flu and I took him to the doctor just that
day and he was told he had the flu and bronchitis.
He was prescribed medication and was told it would take a
few days for them to kick in.
My parents being well into their 80’s any small incident to
them is dieing.
My father is worse.
All the way back from the doctors he is telling me, “ I am
We all are I tell him but he says he is dieing now.
At home that day I laid out his medications and told them
what to take and when.
Easy peazy for the average person but Greek immigrants are
Antibiotics for the bronchitis once a day
Benadryl for his throat and the chest congestion 3 times a
3 puffs from the inhaler 2 times a day
Pepto for his stomach
Tylenol 3 times a day.
My mother gives him 1 Tylenol for the whole day
Syrup once for the whole day
3 puffs from the wrong inhaler
Instead of pepto for his upset stomach she gives him
Galveston, which does the opposite and traps all the gas in my father who is
now bloating like the Pillsbury doughboy.
I call for an ambulance because he really thinks he is
cashing in his chips.
I also called my brother to tell him the old man is in
trouble but he said he was busy watching the Leafs game at the bar and would
call my SIL to come down, no, I didn’t call her, he is his father.
Now I am pretty stressed out.
I haven’t really slept in days and all this hospital shit is
getting to me.
The Paramedics got there quick and had set up shop next to
my father in under ten minutes of my call,
It helps living 2 blocks away.
By the time my SIL showed up with my niece they had
determined he OK to stay home and if things seemed worse they would rush right
That’s when she walked in and heard them say that.
She started saying our doctor was no good and they should
take him to the hospital.
She went on to say her mother is a doctor and she took
nursing classes and she believed my father should go to the hospital.
That’s about when I lost it.
First off, her mother is a psychiatrist or something like
Secondly, thinking about being a nurse isn’t the same as
Thirdly my doctor through her out because she used to go to
see him with 100 different ailments she found on the internet and had already
decided what the doctor should do before he even looked at her.
Oh yeah, I went ballistic.
“Get the FUCK out of this house now you stupid BITCH”.
She went to say something.
‘Shut your fucken trap and get out”.
This is where the ambulance attendant, a young guy in his
20s though his balls had fully grown decided to step in.
He tells me to watch my language in front of my niece.
At that moment, language wasn’t an issue, my niece hears
worse at home from her mother’s mouth and this was about my father not this
Walking towards her I pointed to the door and said in no
muffed voice.”GET THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW”.
What does the attendant do?
He says “Shut up”.
I stopped half way down the hall and turn around.
I walked right back to him and in a calm voice said “Say it
“Tell me to shut up in my house again”.
The female attendant knew he fucked up the first time.
Everything up until my SIL showed up was cordial but I guess
he was mesmerized by her fake tits and didn’t see the real danger infront of
He walked away and the SIL beat it out the door leaving my
She later told the male attendant her mother talks to much.
He came an apologized to me for stepping out of line before
My SIL has yet to speak to me, WHOOOO HOOOO
My female friend got out of the hospital but two days later
fell and fractured her knee after getting drunk when she found out she had
cancer in her girly bits.
A kid today asked me ``Why do you say fuck so much``
Why the fuck do I know, because I'm Canadian.
No, that wasn’t my answer
So I think about it for a bit.
Let’s see, I was born on the border of Quebec and Ontario to immigrant parents.
On one side they want you to be French and on the other side they want you to be English.
At home they want you to be Greek.
The French don’t understand the English
The English don’t care to understand the French and the Greeks they never understand period but they all understand one word.
So my answer was simple.
``Fuck off kid``
They say we are supposed to learn from our mistakes but as
I look at the world I am baffled and dismayed.
We are supposed to be a civilized world with supposedly
respect and compassion for others.
With all this new technology we are developing we are supposedly
getting even farther out of the Stone Age.
People are living longer…supposedly.
To say I am confused would be an understatement,
To say I am frustrated would be putting it lightly.
Who do I blame for all of this, the state of the world?
Politicians, they talk about the shit happening around them.
Then they debate about it for twice as long
Take a two month break for the summer then come back and
start back from the beginning to refresh their memories while all hoping this
delay has solved the calamity on its own saving them a decision.
Clerics, A bunch of fucken pimps from the popes/Ayatollahs
right down to the Priests/Shaikhs who recruit their followers.
People who interpret and twist words to lure the poor,
lost and angry to their bullshit.
Society, Our zeal to quickly move forward so fast we have
left more than half the world still back in the Stone Age and instead of
aggressively educating these people we take the easy way out by giving them
tools they never got a chance to learn how to respect.
You don’t take the sticks and stones from the Neanderthal
and give him a computer or a AK47 until we taught him how to respect life.
Now who is going to teach us?
God, what a fucker this guy is or her.
Allah is on our side,
In god we trust it says across a lot of our money.
All these morons believe in the same god.
If we took the three main religions which represent at least
half of the population of this planet we can place them in the same family
The first testament was all of their first bibles.
Talk about a dysfunctional family.
This is when they were all equal, brothers and sisters with
a common cause, survival.
In time, as is in all families that outgrow their home they
spread out and over the millennia they all loose contact with their past and
become strangers to their own in the future.
The world is going down the poop shoot and we are letting
Why do we even have a United Nations?
From my perspective there should be an equal amount of
troops from each country who has signed onto this union on constant standby
with their only allegiance to the UN and only them.
Otherwise it’s nothing but a club for old politicians to go
to argue while they wait to die.
If someone doesn’t like it then they can pack their shit up
UN troops are supposed to be a unbias police force.
It should be.
Instead it’s a farce.
Organization like ISIS should be dealt with immediately.
The UN should be able to deploy troops like any sovereign
country sends out the police to deal with a crime but we let certain
superpowers have vetos.
A guard dog with no teeth is called a pet.
Those who have it in mind to commit atrocities must also
have the fear of being punished for it in their heads also.
The year is almost over and I find myself single again.
Am I bitter?
Yes, but not because we broke up but because of the way it was done.
For starters I was I was betrayed.
She signed up on a dating site while still going out with
She didn’t have the stones to come to me first and tell me
she wanted out but kept me on the ropes sitting at home thinking there was a
woman in my life when if fact there wasn’t
I knew there was something wrong a few weeks earlier and I
went prowling around and I found her.
I didn’t confront her I just sat back and waited to see what
she would do but like I said she didn’t have the stones to say anything to me.
I had to phone her and make her give me an answer but she
still denied she wasn’t looking for someone else.
If there is a nightmare situation when it comes to long
distance relationships this would be one of them
I think to myself where did I go wrong.
When she went for surgery I was there taking care of her and
driving her father around to appointments
When her son fucked up on a trip to Florida while she was
with me in Canada I consoled her and had to swallow my principles to the point
I almost puked but because I loved her… then I offered to shield the boy even
take him here to Canada to avoid any trouble.
Does any of that count?
Are all women like this?
I hope not.
You would think as a fucken courtesy she would have at least
broken up with me like a real woman instead of slithering around in the grass
like she did.
Am I bitter yes but not for her leaving but for bringing her
into my family.
At me for thinking she was a better person that she actually
Looking at her history I should have seen it much earlier
but love blinds us to the point we even forget our moral obligations.
It’s a sad day but not in my life.
I can actually take a breath of freedom and pity the
I’ll just pretend I haven’t been gone for I don’t know how
I have so much to blog about I have stopped blogging.
The world is gone to hell and back.
They are talking about marriage licenses that will have to
be renewed every five years thus avoiding divorces, you just don't renew.
I wonder if you would have to go for an emissions test every
two years as well.
Better stop eating tex-mex food if you do.
The United States still has a Black president.
To be honest with you I thought he would have been shot by
Dick Cheney in a golfing accident by now.
I like Obama.
You know who else I like, John McCain
I bet if Party lines were abolished the world would be a lot
Just like I believe if we nuked the Middle East all our
problems would be over and just think how many condos they could build there in
500 years when its safe from radiation.
Germany won the world cup and Brazil is still suffering from
They are planning on sending astronauts to Mars.
Apparently they will have to sleep for three years.
Now, not to sound prejudice or racist in any way but just
going by the stereotypical representation portrayed by Hollywood over the last
hundred years, isn't this just another job suited for illegal Mexicans?
I’m just saying.
There is a major Ebola outbreak in Africa, U.N. workers have
evacuated the area but say even though the best authority to the disease died
from it we are told there is nothing to worry about.
In other news, displaced U.N. workers have volunteered for
the mission to Mars
Toyota stock holders celebrated another GM recall.
Putin denies giving ground to air missiles to Ukrainian
separatists and its true.
He gave them to the Russian soldiers before they became
Jay Leno is gone, Letterman is still here and Conan has made
Purgatory his home.
This is just a bit what has been going on in the world which in
some way still effects you and me.
T’ill next time, whenever the fuck that will be, chow and
good health, wealth to everyone.
Today I turn 55.
Sounds more like a speed limit and in some way it is.
It’s usually the speed I have to run to the washroom more often now than I used too when I was younger.
It’s funny, when I was younger I would just piss behind a tree but as I got older I would rather fight to get to the washroom before I piss my pants.
I guess it’s a matter of pride.
Fifty-five, sounds like a big number, but is it?
It’s but a spec of a second in time when we compare it to the universe who in it’s self is a spec in time its own reality.
In these 55 years I have witnessed a lot of shit.
Smoked a lot of it too.
I embraced rock and roll as my mantra, not because of it’s loud anger or its
audacious expression of life from its most primal level of being but because it said it plain and simply in a language I understood.
Even when the lines were blurred the lyrics made sense to those of us who lived those words.
As those words gripped your soul with reality it was the thunder behind them that pulsed the blood through your veins.
Disco came and we all took a whirl but it only gave us the thunder to keep us moving.
Rap, I have always bad mouthed rap and I will admit I have been unfair, not that I like it now but I might of taken it more seriously if they'd pulled their pants up from the start.
I had to cut rappers some slack one day when I heard some rap on the radio.
It’s not so much that I agreed with it but at least I could understand what he was talking about, unlike Bob Dylan singing.
Rock n roll, from the cave men to the Rolling Stones, “who are almost just as old”, have beaten the drums that tell us about living.
Its been said rock n roll crawled out of rhythm and blues who in itself comes out of blues gospel and country music.
At least that’s what the experts say but when I look at their research they fail to point out that all of these genres that are supposedly all linked together have one thing in common.
That's the common person, you and I.
So all that said, on my 55th birthday I share with you one of my favorites.