blue moon (2)

Monday, November 26, 2018

Part Two: The Wall ©

I picked up Buddy’s partner and drove to the hospital to see him.
We walked into intensive care and there he was, on a bed in an induced coma.
It seems that during the operation blood had leaked into his abdomen and to make matters worse he had contracted C difficile.
It was like a scene from a sci-fi show.
Above him were 2 large tv monitors showing all sorts of readings and hanging on a tube frame wall behind him there were no less that 16 IVs pouring all sorts of fluids into him.
All the tubes ran to a manifold taped to his arm where nurses would inject medications.
It was the first time I ever seen him without a smile.
His partner pulled up a chair beside him and wrapped herself around his arm while I sat there wondering where it all went wrong.

When my mother battled through cancer I used to have to drive her to the hospital every so ofter to get chemo.
I remember I wasn’t allowed in back with her so she ended up sitting there alone until one day Buddy showed up and sat with her knowing she was my mother and every time after that he was there when she went for chemo.
That’s what he did 2 days a week.
He helped people get through what they were going through and giving them some hope and comfort just by being there for them.

After the whole experience with my mother, Buddy and I became closer friends.
We still fought about money.
He trying to give it to me and me refusing.
He knew I didn’t get much from disability but I felt obligated to him for what he did for my mother and my brother had borrowed a large sum of money from him once that he never paid back which I felt guilty about.
I know it wasn’t me but…. You know what I mean.
Then there was the friendship thing and I didn’t want his damn money.
He tried to sucker me into taking ten thousand dollars once to pay off all of my debts and I walked out of the bank on him.
In the end we compromised.
I promised if I needed money I would ask and a couple of times I did.
100 here and 100 there……
That irritated him so every now and again he would show up at my door with a new laptop for me with the excuse that it was on sale so he got it for me because I needed a good working unit to fix his identical laptop.
Old people are sneaky and don’t forget it.

I never and will ever allow money to step between friendships and in times of need my friends have rallied around me as back up with their wallets open and I have refused them because to many times I have seen money poison relationships.

We made a funny pair when we went out together.
He was 23 years my senior but you wouldn’t know it.
Tall and wore suits, shirts and tie, hair always cut short.
I’m big, burly with curly hair halfway down my back.
He’s religious, I’m not.
He and his partner square danced.
Square dance……………
He used to bring me boxes of square dancing dvds with a spool of blanks and had me making copies for all of these people in his group.
I never met any of them but they all knew me and loved me it seems.
So much so after their meetings they used to send me these huge platters of sandwiches they would order and NEVER eat.
I mean, maybe about 20 12 inch subs.
I asked him once why do they buy so many when they don’t eat them.
Actually a case of Ensure would probably be better for them since most of them were into the 70s and up.
He just said just in case they were hungry.

The doctor came into the room, looked at me and walked to Buddy’s partner.
He told her they had to make decisions on how to proceed.
She told the doctor she was waiting on Buddy’s nephew who lived 500 miles away and had power of attorney in case something happened to him but he would be be in that afternoon to talk to the doctor.

To be continued…..

Have a nice day



GAB said...

When my mom found out she had cancer I wasn't there for her. When she had Chemo I wasn't there for her. But when she went to the hospital on her 64th birthday I not only was there I spent the night and then she they sent her home the next day I moved in to take care of her for the next 9 days. Because thats all she had was 9 days. When my father needed help I stayed with him for 6 months before he "kicked" me out. My sister then took care of him for the next 6 years. As he started to decline in the nursing home I took him out went out and got a hospital bed and brought him home with me. That was a Weds. He passed on Sunday. I carry much guilt for not listening and being there. But in the end I honored both of their requests. Mom wanted to die at home and she did. Dad did as well but the house had been condemned so he came to stay with me for the few days he had left. I feel that was close enough as home because you know what? He helped put our addition on and when he got here he asked if he was at the big house (which is what he called our house) He didnt say anything else after that. When it comes to parents you try your best to be there for them when they need you. But for a friend a best friend you some times have a harder time being there. I am so glad your doing your best. And when the final day comes I hope you feel as if you did all you could for your best friend. HUGS

Shadow said...

Damn. Damn. Damn. This is hard, so very hard. In the face of death I tend to fall because if only I knew why! what is the purpose behind their life, your life, my life, that would warrant such pain upon their leaving, why! why! why!
I know there is nothing that will ease your feelings and I've been told it's better to feel them anyway, which i only agree with when it's not me feeling, hugs....