blue moon (2)

Monday, October 15, 2007

Red Rum ©

Jose Two Shoes has asked me a question to answer as payment for the question I asked her on her blog.
I ask her “What color are your panties”?
No wait, that was the question I didn’t ask but I wanted too.

I asked Jose if she had the opportunity to have the answer to one question, what would it be and she did a great job answering it
So in return she gets to ask me one and has ask me, “What one event has had the greatest impact on your life and your perspective”?
I didn’t even have to think about this.

I have experienced a lot in my life so far, some major and some minor to insignificant.
Seeing my daughters born was one of them but not the most significant event.

When I was a kid I was in an accident that left my body shattered in the middle of the street.
They told my mother I may not walk right again if at all but that to takes a back seat.

I have been shot at, stabbed and been in many fights but that was just fun and games.

I remember the first time I had sex I was 13.

The first time I lost a friend

When man first landed on t he moon

I’m getting old.

My first car was a Mustang

There was that time I zipped up my dick with my pants, my commando days ended then and there.
Twelve years younger and that would have been self-castration.
Streaking was safer.
I still have nightmares about pulling the zipper back down.

All of those and many more I have stored in my memory pale to the one thing, the one event in my life that still haunts me to this day.
It’s a nightmare I see when I am asleep or awake at least once a week, sometimes more.
It’s a reminder how fragile life really is and that at any moment it could be lights out.

No, I am not talking about paying your electrical bill.

1985, May maybe April
I was sitting at the bar of the local pub having a beer.
It was a Friday or a Saturday I think, around 3pm
I remember that because I was supposed to go home and watch the Monaco Grand Prix
After finishing my beer I went home and turned the TV on so I could watch the race.
I got a beer from the fridge and had a sip before I started to roll a joint,
After finishing the joint I lay back into the couch and watched TV.

“Walker, can you hear me”.
“You’re going to be ok”.
“Do you want me to tell your parents”?

My world was covered in a fog.
A fog of confusion
Good pot I thought.

“Walker, you have to tell your parents what happened”.

Who the fuck is talking to me, I look around as the fog thickens around me.

“Who are you”?

“ I am the doctor, you overdosed and they found you laying dead on the couch”.

GREAT POT!!!!!

“We had to pump your stomach out, clean your blood and drain your bladder”.

Fuck, there goes all the beer I drank.

“You’re a lucky man, no one should be still alive from all the heroin you took”.

“Huh, not heroin, pot”.

“We found pot also, along with cocaine, psilocybin, psilocin and something we didn’t recognize but it was the heroin that killed you”.

My brain was racing trying to try and understand what was happening around me.
She was saying that I was in the hospital and that I had just died and they brought me back.

Good pot.

“If you give me permission I can go out there and tell your parents what happened”.

My head was in a think dense cloud and I didn’t know what was real any more but just then it didn’t matter if it was real or not, I was still the same person here or there and I told the doctor no, she wasn't to say anything to no one.

She insisted and began speaking to me in fucken Greek.
Now I really, didn’t know what the fuck was happening.
I’m in a freaking horror story of a nightmare and the doctor switches from English to Greek.
This is Canada they speak English or French, not fucken Greek.
This had to be a bad dream.

My whole world was in a tailspin and all I could see when I opened my eyes was a whole ceiling full of lights spinning out of control above me then quickly closed them.
My instincts kicked in and was now thinking about survival when the doctor bent over me and told me to do what was right and tell my parents I was a heroin junkie.

That’s when I snapped and grabbed her in my delirium and almost choked her to death then told her she wasn’t to say a word or I would come back and find her.
I dodn't want my parent knowing I was a heroin junkie when I didn't even know I was one myself.

My mother later asked me what I had done to the doctor because she seemed terrified after speaking with me.

For the next three days I was locked into a drug induced nightmare with nothing to do but think and fight demons 24/7.
The day I spoke to the doctors I told them I hadn’t never done heroin but they didn’t believe me so they gave me some so that I wouldn’t have withdrawls and jeopardise my health.But I never did heroin and all they were doing was fucking me up.

For three days I fought against the drugs they gave me and I couldn’t stop them.
Night and day twenty four hours a day, I relived dieing.
Over and over.
Around the third day I had regained enought of m e to fight back the nurse and her fucken tray of pills so she brought the doctor.

He told me that the synthetic heroin was so that I didn’t go through withdrawls.
I told stupid that I never did heroin, at least not on purpose.
As soon as I pounded that into his stupid skull I couldn’t get a tylenol for a headack.

That week I spent in hell was the beginning of the end of a way of life I had lead from almost the time I was born.
Being murdered is an eye openner.

It was my beer.
While at the bar I went to the washroom and left on the bar with people that were supposed to be friends.
I know who it was and he knows I know.

It was Mike who found me on the couch that day and called the ambulance, a real friend.
Since then I have had a different perspective about life.
I re-evaluated how I lived after that happened.
Trust took up a different meaning and friendships were revisited.
I learned who and what it takes to be a friend and to choose better.
It’s not that all my friends want to kill me, at least I don’t think so but it’s good to know who really is your friend not who says they are.

I do my best to see the lighter side of what happens around me most of the time and keep most of the serious stuff tucked away for me to deal with at the appropriate time.
Life was to serious back then and I quickly learned it was better to laugh and have those around you laughing with you rather than to live life cautious, quiet and suspicious of everyone and thing.
Days will come that will be somber and sad but even they could have a little joy mixed in them if you take the time and look for it.

I’m still a bit crazy at times.
The other day I was sitting her with a couple of women and I pulled out a box of grape flavoured condoms and we partied.
We drank wine and chewed on grape flavoured condoms to see if they really tasted like grape and then tried to see who could inflate the biggest condom.
I lost but ummm they get to practice all the time. HA HA HA

I’m more outspoken than I used to be, especially about drugs, the evils and benefits.
My views are no secret.
I think pot and hash should be legalized and cocaine/heroin dealers should get life with their first offence.
I say that as a person who has done a lot of drugs and knows what they can do to you.
I still enjoy my herb and always will but I see no recreational use for the others.

So I guess the answer to the question “What one event has had the greatest impact on your life and your perspective”?
My answer would have to be, going to the bar for a beer.
How’s that, short and sweet?

Stop by and say hi to Jose if you get a chance, you can't go wrong, but if you ask her a question, be ready to get one back.

Have a nice day

Walker

12 comments:

Gypsy said...

FUCK! Now you know I don't usually swear a lot unless its warranted but FUCK!

Someone tried to MURDER you? I have read just about everyone of your posts since you started blogging here and NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, has shocked me more than this. OMG Walker I am stunned and I thought nothing you could say would shock me. I have to say it one more time...FUCK.

Gypsy said...

.....Give Mike a big hug and a kiss from me for saving you :)

Anonymous Boxer said...

Holy Mother of God - there is pure evil in what that person did to you and I hope either you got them back or Karma will at some point.

As for pot - yes, legalize it. Tax it and pay the nurses/police/fireman/teachers what they are truly worth.

"great" answer, Walker. I'm sorry you had to learn who your friends WEREN'T.

Sally said...

I'm so glad you're alive to tell this, but very sorry it happened in the first place. I can totally relate in how 'coming back' can give one a new perspective on life.

Blazngfyre said...

FUCK!

I know, not very original .... but .......
fuck ....

I wholeheartedly agree with you, legalize pot/hash and put the hardcore (coke, heroin, meth, etc) dealers AWAY FOR LIFE!

I know I almost killed myself on coke, but the thought of someone coldly trying to MURDER you makes my blood run ice cold.

How does one make peace with that?
I had a hard enough time 'recovering' from my cocaine "problem"!

patti_cake said...

I have to say I can't say it any better than any of the others have said. Hugs Walker

Josie Two Shoes said...

WOW!!! Obviously, I had no idea when I asked this question, just how dead on it was! I doubt that anyone could top your "one moment" story! It made me shudder, to realize how quickly and easily your life could have ended in that moment, and the following nightmare, trying to convince them you weren't an addict, OMG! All I can say is that I'm greatful you were able to come thru that experience with new insight about friendship. I think it's amazing that you are able to trust anyone after that! GREAT JOB on this question, Walker. Hmmm, how will I ever top it for this week's One Question? Are you going to ask one?

JYankee said...

WOW... it doesnt top FUCK..but yeah Im here thru Josie's blog... yikes!.... glad to see you are still around to tell about it though....

Amanda said...

This knocked my socks off.

BikerCandy said...

Holy Shit Walker! That story gave me goose bumps...I'm sitting here just saying Fuck like the others. Next time you see Mike give him a hug from me.

By the way, I'm on your side on the drug thing too. Too bad there aren't people in charge with enough guts to say the same thing.

Peter said...

Your life my friend has been a pretty mixed bag, from friendships to be truly grateful for to the depths of despair like this story.
Ya want to have that Mike bottled... he's a real savior.

nachtwache said...

That's... wow, Heroin can be put into beer? When I was reading your story, I thought at first that the pot had been laced with it. Beer? That's not an experience I'd want to have. Good thing I don't like beer, eh? Well, as you know, I don't like pot either, or any drugs. Pot has made junior lazy and when he's not high, often a real jerk. Then again, maybe that's in his genes. I like a clear head, myself.
Thanks for your sympathy about our friend.
Take care. Keep an eye on your drink! ;)