blue moon (2)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Sex Talk: White Crustymess ©

It was the night before Crustymess
And all through the world
Children were excited
While parents flipped the bird

The stores were all bustling
With sales everywhere
With hopes that everyone
Still had change to spare

Credit cards burned deep in their wallets
While plasma TVs dropped yet once again
As mom covered dads eyes one more time
A Kitchenaid mixer, blinked in her eye

Just then, from one of the stores
A man galloped out, running on all fours
Shouting and screaming about being only one more night
To hurry and go, before the clock strikes midnight

It hit us hard
Knocking us senseless
Sending us running
To all the expensive places

We ran from one store, then to the next
Waving our credit and buying the best
I got the TV, the wife the rest
We raised our limit, to buy up the rest

The girl at the counter
Snatched up my card
She swiped it once then twice
While I looked down her bra

As the light shone down
Upon her breast
I remembered something
I was told not to forget

I looked from one
And then to the other
Then I ran to get eggnog
As I just remembered

I ran down the hallway
Towards the store
Right past a lady
Standing at the door

Down the aisle
To where it should be
There was none to be had
And I really needed to pee

I looked for a washroom
I went all around
I looked and looked
But none could be found

I went down aisle five
Looked here and there
Found me BOUNTY
And yes it was on sale

Pulling up my zipper
Then wiping the floor
I head out back
Towards the door

Back in the hallway
Looked all around
I saw what I wanted
Then went to see what I found

One hour later I raced down the street
Ran two red lights and passed my street
Around the corner I came back to see
The wife’s car, parked on the street

I opened the door and went to the trunk
Grabbed up a bag and closing the truck
I walked up the laneway
Not really drunk

Opening the door
I stepped right in
The kids were all gone
So I went up the stairs

The first door was closed
The kids tucked inside
The washroom was open
With the cat inside

Down the hallway
I went to my room
I opened the door
And smelled her perfume

Inside I stepped as she saw me walk in
She looked and asked if I remembered what to bring
I smiled then grinned and gave her a nod
As she lay spread out, on top of the bed

I knew I was in trouble and needed to think
Pulling out a bottle, I offered her a drink
I gave her a glass then filled it with rum
One hour later I was fucking her bum

Two hours later
I fell back on the bed
She reached on over, grabbed it by the head
Stroked it gently, until it started turning red

She reached on over and whispered in my ear
“Did you get my eggnog, my lovely dear “
I squirmed and started to sweat
She knew I fucked up and I was going to be dead

I said “No honey, I forgot what you said”
She just smiled and nodded her pretty little head
Reaching on over to the side of her bed
She picked up a glass and said “Fill this instead”

I knew in that moment it was going to be a sight
As she stood on the bed and screamed most of the night
"Cum, Dasher!, Cum Dancer! , Cum Prancer and Vixen!
Cum, Comet! Cupid!, Cum Donner and Blitzen!

To the top of the tip, all over the wall
Cum once, cum twice, cum all once and for all
Into the glass and all over the place’
I forgot the eggnog, now it’s all over my face

"Merry Crustymess to all, and to all “couch cough” a good night””


Wash your face



Monogram Queen said...

THAT is the most 'unique' Christmas ditty i've ever read ;)
Merry Christmas to you and yours!

itisi said...

Merry Christmas, Walker!

Just telling it like it is said...

Now that is funny!!!
I hear that scotch guard is the way to go!!
Nipple flash for Christmas!!!

BlazngScarlet said...


Merry Christmas to you Walker, and I hope it's NOT a Crustymess! ;D