blue moon (2)

Friday, April 22, 2005

Sex Talk:Cat House ©

Did I tell you, that I worked at a brothel once, yup “Walker Whore Master”. Well not really I just rented the rooms and they called it a massage parlor. (I’m rolling my eyes at this). One of my best friends had inherited the business. What I learned after I started working was he worked for this guy and he got raided and sent to jail, so he basically took over by default. He offered me $120 a shift that’s 6 hours, to basically sit in an office watch free pay TV and collect the money for the rooms when the customers first came in. Easy and the money was great. I was still worried about the prostitution thing though. According to the law in Canada prostitution is not illegal, soliciting for it is. Free sex is legal, duh. So I said ok and started working the next day.
This is how it worked.
The guy I worked for hired the woman and paid them a small amount to work there. 10 bucks an hour. What they made in the rooms was theirs.
A customer comes to the main door and rings.
A half naked woman answers it and lets him in.
She asks him does he want the room for 15, 30, or 60 minutes .Each one more expensive than the next one. Now I was paid for renting the room first and then she talk him in the back and they talk about what he wants and how much.
Now the place was equipped with a jacuzzi and a sauna so if someone really wanted to use the facilities as a spa it was ok (Like that ever happened).
Ok you have the basics as I remember them.
One day there is a ring and a knock at the door and one of the girls answers it and calls me to say it’s for me. I get there and there is this naked guy at the door and he’s pointing at his dick and asking how much we would charge him because of the length of his pecker. I looked down and was holding back a huge laugh, and said I’m sorry but we have a dress code and closed the door. The girls were rolling on the floor laughing.
Is it over nope, an hour later the bell goes off and the girl calls me and says its for me again, fuck I think what now. I get to the door and there are 2 cops standing there with the naked guy. Yes I say, to the cop. He asks me do you know where this mans clothes are? To which I replied no he showed up here like that and I sent him away.
For the rest of the night I expected the door to get kicked in and me getting arrested.
Another time the 3 girls came into my office with a dilemma. They couldn't decide who had nicer tits, so they wanted me to choose. Everyone through out the world knows that I’m a boob expert; “sigh” there’s only one pair I’m thinking about now. OK I'm awake again, any how I told them to go back to their room and leave me alone but they insisted.
So what the hell I say go for it. Off come the tops and I take a look.
Now you have to understand I was kinda bored and there wasn’t anything on the TV. So I said they all look pretty nice but I needed more to determine who’s were nicer. I wanted a jiggle test. They asked what’s that, I told them I wanted to see how firm they were. (I know I’m going to hell so shut up) So I said jump up and down which they did.I was wanting to laugh so much but I held it. Watching then jumping up and down while wearing spikes and wabbling, bumping into each other was funny. Now turn side to side which they also did. Hmm this is going to be a hard choice I said. Ok one more test then. The one that could turn the light switch on with their boob will be the winner.
It was one of those very old switches that you had to push in all the way to open the light and it was hard to do it with your finger. It was also high up and the tallest one on her tip toes couldn't reach. So what did they do you ask. Did they take the chair that was right there and stand on it,No. What they did do was to take a running start for it .Yup topless hooker flying through the air smacking her boob and forehead against the wall.
You would think after the first one cracked her skull on the wall the other two would opt out or at least look at the chair. Well they didn’t and for 30 minutes they were smacking the wall until the boss showed up and asked what the fuck was going on. I told him and after he stopped laughing he sent them back to their room, but every now and then one would come in to fling herself at the light switch.
There is one memory I like and it was about one of the regulars. Everytime he came to the SPA the girls would freak and prayed he didn't pick her. Apperantly he was hung like a horse and could get it all up and go hog wild. He came once a month. Why you may ask only once a month, because thats when he got his old age pension .He was 82. I could only wish.
BTW I never got laid there not that it wasn’t offered for free. It’s just not my style. Wait, there was the 2 cashiers from the grocery store I brought there New Years Eve but they weren't hookers so it doesn't count.Right? Besides thats another post.
I worked there for a year and I have a hundred stories from there and it was down Walkers trail.

Have a nice day


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