blue moon (2)

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Sex Talk: What Do We Deserve? ©

For today’s Sex Talk I am lending out my blog to someone who wants to ask for your opinion on a matter.
It’s something many of us have experienced before.
I will submit my opinion as I would on her blog when she posts, in the comments box.

Is sex something that a partner deserves or doesn’t deserve?  
I always thought of it as something that is emotional and physical combined.  
In order to deserve something one would have to earn it.  
Sex is an act of desire a wanting, needing, and craving for someone’s touch.
This came about the other night when we were going to make love and I said something about it being the third time in two days (and loving every minute of it) when he says, “I deserve it.”  
I am thinking, “You deserve it?!?  
What does he mean by that"?!?  
What I said was, “And I don’t?”  
His reply was, “Oh.  You deserve it to.”  
This does not set well with me.  
Neither partner deserves to have sex.
To deserve it would mean that you earned it.
When you earn something that means you are getting some kind of payment for it.  
To me, as a woman, this smacks of prostitution.  
The whole thing is just wrong, is this how other people think?  
Am I wrong to think that he wants to have sex because I am desirable to him and he wants me for me and what exactly does he think he did, to deserve sex?  
We are a married couple, we are supposed to be sharing our lives with each other and not making brownie points so we can cash in for sex.  
Does this mean if I don’t feel like it and he does, that I have to do it because he feels he deserves it?  
No one, male or female, should be made to feel that they have to have sex; this takes the pleasure and satisfaction out it.  
I am sure there are times when we all have done it for other reasons.
It happens once in a while but for the most part, sex should be something that two consenting people do because this because it is what they both desire, not deserve.
I ask for your thoughts on this?

Have a nice Weekend



KeesKennis said...

Sex can be many things.
Sometimes sex can be had for relaxation of stress (like therapy) by one party.
So the "both desire" is not always there.
'Happy to give' is more apropriate.
The satisfaction stays right there whether this is thru the penis/clitoris or the brain/heart.

19+7 years of happy marriage helps.

Maeve said...

When I hear the word "deserve" used for sex, I think of several things.
How are you being treated? If your partner is being a poopy head and saying mean things to you, does he deserve sex?
I think not.
Has he apologised and repented for being a poop head? Then yes, he deserves it. You can't treat some one nasty and then expect them to share intimacy with you.

Bacon Eating Atheist Jew said...

The idea of deserving sex is put in man's head by woman from day one. We know if we do things correctly we might get. We knew this when we were young, that if we played our cards right, we might get it.
A man who says a woman deserves it, is just being sarcastic.

Jack's Shack said...

Bacon is on to something.

jac said...

Well! it can work 3 ways.

One. You want it and she/he is half asleep or half drunk, any way done. Erotica in absentia for the one

Two. He/she wants it and I am half asleep or half drunk, any way done. Erotica in absentia for the other

Three. Both want to, because both want it, ‘Precioso conceda’, sighs and lot of smiles afterwards.

Is that the third one you mean, Walker ?

Aims said...

Hey I commented on this yesterday, where did it go?!

Aims said...

Hey I commented on this yesterday, where did it go?!

MysticSpirit (Sass) said...

I don't like the word deserve - period. It's like 'should' and oozes judgement, shame, guilt, condemnation or superiority if it's the other side of the coin.

Maybe he was just being playful and hit an emotional button for you?