blue moon (2)

Monday, September 13, 2010

Digging Holes ©

If I crapped down a wishing well
Would it land in China?

What, as a kid we used to think we could take a shovel and dig our way to China?
As we get older we know better, not all holes end up in China but in China they know different.
They know if they dig deep through the clay all holes will end up in North America
They sell us enough fucken toilets to prove it.

Another thing.
Why would we want to dig a hole all the way to China?
I get tired just thinking of digging in a pot.
All the way to China, why?
For Chinese food?
I live five minutes from China Town.
I can order food and get my laundry done at Mrs Lees down the street without breaking a sweat.
But, I need to know.
Don’t you?
I mean if I dug a hole straight down from where I am where would I end up.
With my luck I would hit a water main six feet down and drown.

So on the internet I went to find a way to figure out where I would end up if I swallowed enough Viagra and red bulls to get off the couch and dig a hole to someplace.
After a relatively short search I found this map which flips everything on the opposite for you to see.

Printing this map out.
Obviously I have fuck all to do.
I print this out then using my twelve-foot measuring tape I figure out where I would end up if I dug a hole straight down.

Great, right smack bang where the Indian ocean meets Antarctica near this tiny speck that looks like an island.
Hold on I will need google maps for this.

This is too cruel.
French Southern and Antarctic Lands
I live next to Quebec already.
Fuck that.

All this digging has made me hungry.

Have a nice day


Hi, yes, I’d like to order a dozen shrimp spring rolls and some hot and sour soup.


Opaque said...

Yes, I need to know too...

Anonymous said...

You need to get a life, is what you need to

If you're gonna do it, though, before you begin to dig, remember to call the one number you need to know. The one that contacts all the utility companies for you so that they can come out and mark where there are underground pipes and wires around where you're gonna dig.

BlazngScarlet said...

Have fun with that.

Great song btw.

Just telling it like it is said...

If it makes you feel any better I never dig

Heff said...

You no want "Flied Lice" ??

itisi said...

If you took enough Viagra and drank enough red bulls to get off the couch, I am positive you would NOT be digging to China! LMAO!!

Boxer said...

Just reading about digging made me hungry. I'll take some shrimp rolls, too please.

gab said...

you must tell me what does hot and sour soup taste like? I havent tried that the wonton soup not so crazy on the egg drop. Oh wait Im off the subject...your fault you mention food....Im afraid I would get 6 inches down and say hell with it. After all myu back couldnt take it and now neither can my with that in mind lets eat

Kathryn Magendie said...

So, there's someone out there who thinks weird shit like I do *laughing*

loved your comment on my blog - always love them though - make me laugh!