blue moon (2)

Monday, August 04, 2008

The Stepford Wives: Part Three ©

The boys think we can break in and get her out without raising any suspicion from the guards.
I think they are more interested in hitting the drug cabinet than helping me through this little scheme that could get us all in trouble but this is only Plan C even though they think it should be Plan A.

A week after the call from across the pond I had a talk with my friend.
We had a long talk where I told her something I had said to someone once before in a dark parking lot years earlier.
No one should leave someone for someone else.
No one should ever take someone else to keep, from someone else.
I told my friend that she had valid reasons to leave her partner if she so chose or she could sit down and read the riot act to him before she left.
Your resolve should come from the heart and not to be tainted by someone else’s words or your desires for something different.

I have asked many women contemplating leaving their husbands if they love them and have found that most love their husbands but hate the way they are being treated and opt to have affairs before leaving them for someone they met.
And it’s not only women, men to fall into the spell of someone else’s affection.
I don’t care who you are; if life sucks at home you will welcome someone else’s attention eventually.
You are beaten emotionally and vulnerable to anyone who makes your heart skip a beat but the fall is hard and painfully without a cure.

A person looking for some action doesn’t give a fuck what your life is like at home.
They just want you to spread them for a dip or a ride, then you got to go home, to hell once more and curl up in bed with that person you are married to.
Then you fuck that person so they don’t become suspicious but your head is elsewhere so you die a little inside.
You REALLY don’t want to be there because of what you did, some of it is shame and some the desire for more.
While you’re going mad at home where you don’t want to be, the guy or gal has showered and gone out to have some fun and who knows, they might bring someone home after.
They don’t have to answer to anyone.
Not even you.

Not everyone is like this of course.
I know there are some people who are sincere and fall into the love trap.
Many a single person has ended up with a married one by mistake or deception only to find out when it’s too late.

Living the bachelor life looks great to someone drowning emotionally.
Walking into my life and lifestyle is exciting at times to the outsider who doesn’t go out to have fun any more unless it’s some kids birthday party but I don’t have the responsibilities many people have.
I can afford to party every day and stay up until all hours of the night then wake up at noon.
It doesn’t mean I do any less than any other person but I have no one to answer to and do as I please, something many others wish they could.
I could fuck anyone I want and not have to worry about getting caught by my partner.
I only have one person to think about and that’s me.

It wasn’t always like this.
I spent 17 years with one woman and 9 with another.
It’s a lot of fucken work and anyone who says different lies like a dirty rug.
When you are couple you have to multiply everything by three.
You have a responsibility to yourself, one to your partner and to your relationship, then add one more for each kid that you have.
I just got the cat and a bunch of fucken plants to worry about now.

Something has to give and it’s usually the relationship because when to much falls on your shoulders, self-preservation takes over and this causes neglect to everything else.
Depression sets in and you’re struggling to stay sane.
You find yourself seeing doctors and being prescribed medication that you never needed before to make you a docile participant in your life.
There are more housewives suffering from depression today than there ever was.
15% of the worse cases kill themselves, usually with their meds.

Taking drugs isn’t going to make matters better.
The source of the depression has to be addressed and that’s the problems that are eating away at you at home.
If your partner doesn’t want to talk about it them make them.
Threaten them if you have to with you whole arsenal and if that doesn’t work then leave them because of that and NOT because of someone else.
That someone else only complicates the situation and if they are not sincere, well then, how fucked are you going to be if you have to go crawling back?
How will your self-esteemed hold up to that fucken BS?
If you thought life was bad before just imagine how it will be after you are taken back.
If you leave, you leave for good so make sure you leave for the right fucken reason not because someone fucked your ass so well that you love him now.
That’s lust not love and if you’re not careful your ass will really be fucked.

When she stopped crying I told her that I would always be in her life in one form or another and she had nothing to worry about because there was no one who could make me say anything about us.
I told her I would call even her a liar if confronted in public.
It wasn’t an easy time.
She took it hard and two days before Christmas things went bad at home and she came looking for me but I wasn’t home.
She took a bottle of her meds and threw herself into the river but the ice was too thick.

Things got worse before they got better.
Over the next year we talked on the phone when she needed to talk to someone.
We couldn't be in the same room together, we were just plain dangerous in the same room and you could feel the sexual tension all over the place so we just keep things to the phone now especially after the pool table incident at the pub.

There were a couple of slips on her part when she showed up at my door asking for a kiss but that’s all.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t care for her and if things were different life would be different for the two of is but it’s not and it is what it is.
Some things are just not worth messing up for others to be happy.

Over the last few years things have gotten better at home except for the part where she isn’t left alone by herself over night any more just incase shoe tries to off herself again, she promised me she wouldn’t.
She would call me almost daily and she’d tell me what was going on.
I got her to introduce some of the stuff we did together to her husband hoping to put a little spark into their bedroom.

In the beginning she said it was fun and he was eager but then began getting suspicious about where she learned all of these new things she was doing to him and asking for.
I told her to go get a book about sex and show it to him.
She got one called Sex Starved Marriage that she said she enjoyed reading and that gave him a little assurance of her fidelity.

She had a new shrink she had been seeing for the last 7 years and said he thought everything was going good until I got a phone call a week ago.
She was in a panic, frantically trying to say something to me on the phone but couldn’t because her husband just drove up the lane way and she hung up.

I waited for a week not knowing what to do.
I could call, he knows me and I could come up with some excuse like my BBQ invitation but I don’t know if I could keep a clear voice if I probe for answers.

Even though we have not been together for 6 years and I have moved on I care a lot for her and I don’t leave a friend stranded if I can help it.
Don’t get me wrong, I won’t let myself be abused by people trying to take advantage of me but she never asked anything of me other than to take her from the life she was running away from and I said no.

Some people may not understand me when I say I still love everyone I said I love you to.
I never want to see them again for a multitude of reasons but love you don’t take out oif your pocket and flush down the drain.
Those feeling burn into your soul.
I have helped some of my Exs without them knowing.
Less complicated that way without having anything more read into it that what it is and that’s doing what’s right because it’s right.

My friends think I’m nuts but they’re full of shit because I have seen them curse their Exs and then beat the shit out of someone for calling her a whore.
They figure they earned the right to call her that and no one else.

Plan A kicked in and I got news.
Don’t ask what Plan A was but I didn’t break any laws.
She called me and told me what happened.
She was scared for many reasons and with good cause.

It all started when she noticed she was forgetting things and began getting more and more anxious with things that were minor.
She called her shrink but he wasn’t answering.
This went on for about a month and her body was showing signs of fatigue for no apparent reason.
More calls went unanswered to her shrink before she headed off to her GP for some help.

The GP looked into her history and the meds she was taking and was left dumbfounded why the shrink had prescribed the meds she was taking and set out to talk to the shrink.
In the mean time she sent my friend to get a cat scan done with some blood work.
After a week she learned that the shrink, he fell off of the face of the earth.
His license has been suspended pending an investigation.
It seems that he went nuts himself a long time ago but no one stopped him from practicing in his field and prescribing medication.
Imagine, a crazy person diagnosing you and giving you drugs to take.

The tests show that my friends brain is fried and she is now locked up in a mental institution preparing to go through a three month detox procedure to clean her system of all the lethal drug cocktail she was told to take to make her feel better.
What is really distressing her is that her files are missing.
She confided to the shrink about everything including me.
Personally it doesn’t bother me but she is scared it might fall into the wrong hands and bring up a lot of shit that she can’t handle.

I told her not to worry about it until it happens and I will help to look for this fuck and try to get back her files one way or another.
I told her to tell her GP to petition for the files and he is not allowed to share them with anyone else until she finds a new shrink to see.
I don’t like shrinks BTW and don’t get me going on Dr Phil.
Anyone who tells a person to leave their marriage without hearing both sides of the story is a quack.

There is nothing else I can do for anyone but be there to listen and be objective as possible.
Those who have talked to me can testify I am not a sympathetic ear but more of a cynical one.
I won’t condone what you do, I leave that for you to decide if it’s right but I will point things out to you that will make you cringe.
I have seen the cost of a broken heart.

My Ex’s cousin shot himself with a shotgun because his wife took the kids and left him for some guy on welfare because he was always there to keep her company where as her husband worked all the time.
She didn’t shoot him so it’s not her fault.
The guy on welfare left her when the insurance money ran out and now she is on welfare too.
Hard lessons just to fill a small void with big implications.

Here is the plan for your escape from limbo.
You’re not happy at home then confront the problem head on to look for a solution.
Silence only fuels the problem until it gets too big to handle.

Don’t listen to other people, listen to your heart and use your brain to make an HONEST decision.
Lying to yourself doesn’t help your situation you just carry that lie with you down the road like heavy luggage.

Get your shit together and secure your future on your own by yourself for you and only you.
The foundation of your life is only strong when you plant your feet on solid ground, NOT on someone else’s shaky shoulders.
Otherwise you sell yourself again to someone new.

I do my best not to judge people because I know I am only human myself and know what it’s like to need someone.
I know what it’s like to be betrayed and how that feels.
Guilt I don’t know because I don’t mess around when I have someone but I have felt the guilt of others.

All of this is avoidable but you have to make a stand to achieve it.
You have to adapt to the situation.
Going through all of this takes more energy than trying to fix the problem when it’s still small.
For every unhappy wife there is an unhappy husband.
Find out why and try and fix it but if you can’t at least you will both know why and this could be achieved without any outside influences.
Remember, this was once your best friend.
There is a lot more to loose than you realize.
Maybe you can salvage a friendship at least.
The biggest fear for both husband and wife is failure and that’s why they hold on for the wrong reasons.

Neither I or anyone else are the solution to anyone’s problems at home, only you know what that is deep in your heart when you are ready and brave enough to reach for it.
I promise it will hurt but it does get better.
I will protect my friend to the end, to preserve what she wants and that’s her family, I’m just the shadow of a doubt in her heart but mostly I am her friend who will always love her.

3am Thursday MSN goes off

Hi… there?
I am leaving my husband for someone I met; he said he loves me.

Yeah I ‘m here, let’s talk………..

All of this has been taxing for me to write and I still have to talk to the boys.
They are not happy about Plan A and may go through with Plan C anyway just to liberate the drug cabinet for the hell of it.
I tried telling them they are so old now they could just ask their doctors for pain killers and save going through all of that hassle.
This is what happens when you join and old gang at a young age.
By the time you graduate from beer to double scotches and the appreciation of nice big firm tits, they move on to Metamucil and the pleasures of saggy tits that drop in their laps with little effort.

Have a nice day



Just telling it like it is said...

Wow...can I just say that that was powerful...really. I know today so many people are reliant on drugs to make them happy, money to make them happy..but happiness comes from within...
very powerful...
Walker I am glad that I met you blogger friend...

Robyn said...

Walker...have I told you lately how incrediable you are?!!!
Wow my friend that was a moving piece. I have read it twice and now I have gone as far to recommend a few other blogger friends to come here and take a gander! They must!

Again, your friend seems to have gotten the short end of the stick. Poor thing in regards to her shrink and what the meds have done to her brain cells!
She is in my thoughts as she is going through all of this.

Walker, I am drawn to this blog everyday like a moth to the light. You are wise soul my friend. And I love that you just lay it out there and speak from the heart. I wish that I had half of your courage and wisedom. It has if you reached into my heart/mind and wrote this. Incrediable...really! This was powerful to read and reread, it was if you were speaking to me alone. I am grateful for you dear friend!
Love ya!

P.S. Thanks for stopping by and giving me some blog know I love it when you do *wink*

Walker said...

Just telling it like it is: Love is powerful.
It is what connects your soul to your heart and life its self.
We all feel it and know it, I just wanted to remind everyone.

I'm glad we got to meet through our blogs, friends are hard to come by.

Walker said...

Robyn: I like stopping by your blog, it’s exciting.
You got great walk abouts that you do in your city with free tours for your readers.
You even get scantly clad sexy women half drunk in your back yard so you can take pictures for your blogging friends.
That’s HUGE.

You got a fun blog that’s why I enjoy coming by and reading

I am nothing more than and average guy with a few opinions based on what I have lived and still live.
Wisdom, wise, me, no.
A wise person is someone who studies life for the betterment of it.
Analyzes it and forms an opinion.
We live life and feel it in places were wisdom could never touch or comprehend.
A wise person would tell you that if you fall in love you might get hurt.
We rather fall in love and feel the pleasure or the heart wrenching pain that engulfs our hearts because only that can tell you that you’re alive.
A wise person is to scared to fall in love

Besides, if wise men are so wise why don’t they get laid as much as we do eh?

Robyn said...

Walker: You have mail!

Scarlet said...

I have so many thoughts running rampant through my head right now.
I'm not sure where to start.

In so many ways, I needed this particular post.
I'll explain in an email.

Just know that I thank you .... from the bottom of my heart.

Peter said...

Hey Walker, where the fuck were you with all this wisdom when I needed you.... Yeah I know... same place I was when you were feelin' low!!!
I just know I'm gonna keep comin' back here even when I'm not blogging but not sure whether I'll comment yet... We'll see.

Monogram Queen said...

Reading this is a big big help to me. I have't blogged about it but i'm having some marital problems and it's nice to know I feel i'm on the right track. I know I have a good man and I don't want to lose a wonderful family.

Bud said...

You're doing a lot of good here. I wish it was more widely read. Good job, my friend.

Tammi said...

Well imagine that!?
You have managed to once again hit the freakin nail RIGHT on the head.
I've been hearing ALOT from Ray(the X)lately,and in reading wHat you posted it just gives me the chills.You got us pegged and then some.

Walker said...

Robyn: WOOO HOOO Mail.

Walker said...

Scarlet: If this post gives you something I am happy, even if it's a sigh of relief to help lesson the weight on your chest.

Walker said...

Peter: I was probably trying to find what went wrong.
I am saddened that you are not blogging any more but I want you to remember i will always be a friend to you

Walker said...

Monogram Queen: You do have a good man and a gorgious daughter.
Also I know you are a smart woman who will fight to keep her family together without compromising herself in the process.

Walker said...

Bud: As long as one person understands something from this post, then I have planted a seed that could grow into something beautiful for everyone.

Walker said...

Tammi: When you say "US" it's not only you and Ray.
It's all of US.
We are all in the same sinking ship splashing around to stay afloat.
Our silence is what sets us apart.
It's time we all spoke out to see we are all lost trying to find ourselves and what we go through in our quest for love and happyness

Anonymous Boxer said...

YOU are an old soul. I wish I could be as unselfish as you with helping those that may not deserve the help. I have a part of me that seeks revenge and it's not always a good thing - something I'm working on. Reading posts like this and the comments lets me see a different road to take.

Walker said...

Anonymous Boxer: We all seek revenge in the beginning it's our nature to lash out at those that hurt us until we cool down and have a good look at the WHOLE picture.
Sometimes its just not worth it and it only drags us deeper in that pit thats squeezing the life out your heart.

Sometimes it's easier to just say fuck it and walk away.

So ummm, you saying I'm old or I just wear alot of handme down clothes from my ancestors LOL

BikerCandy said...

Very powerful post Walker and I totally agree with your philosophy on relationships. If only more people felt the same way there would be so much less heart ache in the world.

Just telling it like it is said...

Walker you are right love is powerful and a gift that some people never experience as sad as that sounds...I have been very lucky in my life...I have known a love so great and powerful...I had no control of had a life of its own...but I had to do the right thing and let it go...tore my heart to peices...but in the end the right thing to do...Friendship even though you are far away from me...I get you and I am happy to have found you...The only thing that I can say that is promise death and taxes..but you can be sure that I will be your blog friend until I have nothing more to say...and I hardly believe that will ever happen...I get you...

Walker said...

BikerCandy: Yes, it's something we are really know deep inside but sometimes the heart is to sad and lonely.
Somtimes the pain of a heartack is the only way you know that you're still alive.

Walker said...

Just telling it like it is: Better to have loved and lost that to have never loved at all.

I think the only way you can truly understand the power of love is to have your heart wretched out of your chest by someone you love leaving you choked up and knumb.

Robyn said...

Now go back and re-read the post now! sorry I was working on it! And I too need a stiff one...take that anyway you want...I'll take it anyway at this point! LOL! Just hte thought of going back to work just really makes me want to throw up!
Love ya!

Walker said...

Robyn: I went back and read it.
It's just that I was there at about 2 am and left a comment on one post and then POOF when I reloded to see the comment there was a new post.


Its a good thing and came to my senses and rolled a joint.

I know how you must feel. I couldn;t do that day in day out.
I can't watch medical programs.

nachtwache said...

Like it or not :), you are wise, or you've you learned a lot of truths about life and have become wise.
I like my feet planted firmly on the ground and taking the bull by the horns, so to speak.
I've met my share of smooth talkers, good thing I have a pretty level head and know many guys just want to get laid, no matter how much they flatter you. I also know I'd have to live with my conscience, if I ever strayed, my conscience is not quiet, so I better not do the wrong thing.
Your friend needs a lot of emotional healing.

Walker said...

nachtwache: My friend needs support from home.
Its unhappy people who fall and get hurt.

Wisdom is linked to common sense and compation.
You need both to achieve understanding.


hopefully what ever plan you do choose to use works out... at least she is making phone calls to friends to get help... good on you!

Suzanne said...

I like when your helmet is pink! Well, of course I'm laughing.

You're a man of wisdom and even I gather strength from this blog. I can't say I relate to everything, but the ring of truth is load and clear. Trust me. Thank you for always gracing my blog and my life. I think you're a pretty special guy, so stick around because I certainly intend to. And thank you for taking such good care of her. Not that she needs taking care of, but just arms to hold and love her when she's feeling a bit low or blue. Thank you for that. I think you're pretty special. I assume you already know that.