BBQ 2008 ©

Gezzz, I’m still limping here.
I’ve been pissing out rainbows from all the different jelly shooters I drank.
Not to mention flashbacks in between passing out and waking up.

“Uncle Walker don’t you think my sister and I look alike”?
“Well, your sister is 5 inches taller and practically has no tits and you’re five inches shorter and stooped over all the time because your tits are so big”.
Yeah you both look alike.

“Walker I have to leave for an AA meeting at 8 pm but I will be back at 9 and we can have a bottle of white wine together”.
“OHHHHH KAYYY”.

“Ummm Mahmoud, you’re eating a pork Souvlaki”.
“It’s Ok, I will wash my mouth out with a beer after”.

“Uncle Walker can I have a Jelly shooter”?
“You have to ask your father or stepmother first”.
Father: You can have one but don’t tell your mother
Stepmother: You can have one but don’t tell your mother
Stepsister: Have 10 and don’t tell anyone

Father to Walker

“I have been cooking this chicken for an hour now and it barely looks cooked”.
“You are out of propane”.

“Walker, can you do something about the cat. It keeps trying to eat the dip”.
“You used his cat bowl for the dip”.

“Walker, who’s the hot lady in the white dress and the long black hair”?
“That’s John”?
“Joan, that’s a nice name”.
“No, John, his name is John”.
“But John is a man’s name, not a woman’s name”.
“I know uncle Chris, he’s a man”.
“But he is wearing a dress”.
“That’s not a dress, it’s a caftan”.
“What’s a caftan”?
“An excuse for a man to wear a dress”.

“ I think you should get back together with my sister”.
“ I think you should stick your head the microwave to see if popcorn pops out of your ass”.


Those were bits of some of the happenings at my BBQ.
In whole it was a success even though only 50 showed up at the time only to have the ones that didn’t show up in the morning to push it until 8:30 pm the following day.
Needless to say I was more tired than drunk but don’t be fooled I was hammered.

My mother said that everyone was drunk because of those “BOMBS” aka jelly shooters, that I made for everyone.

This years Jelly shooters were color coded.
Lime Green was 2 parts vodka and one part water.
Cherry Red was 50/50 vodka to water
Orange was one part vodka and 2 parts water
This way people got to choose how drunk they wanted to get.
Most picked one of each HA HA HA

The night started with me cooking up sausages on the barbecue then cutting them into mouth sized pieces then opening a bottle of Metaxa (Greek Brandy) one of my friends brought over for us to drink.
After that everyone dove into the three coolers containing everything from beer to coolers and lots of bottles of white wine and Retsina.

The crowd had been split into two groups.
The older ones sat inside where there was A/C and TV while we sat outside out of their prying eyes and drinking like fish.

One of my friends brought her grandson over who has multiple disabilities and was having a fun time playing with my niece until he saw me turn on the BBQ and drop the sausages on t he grill.

This is one tough kid let me tell you.
From the day he was born the odds have been against him.
He was born with part of his brain missing, a cleft palate, a lazy eye and is autistic.
When he has a seizure they have to take him to the hospital and kill him to end the seizure then they have to kick start him up again.
They said he would not live more than a couple of years but he is 10 today and goes to school.
He loves Batman and Catwoman.
He’s the only one I am willing to share Halle Berry with, in fact I gave him a life size poster of her as Catwoman to him for Christmas.

When he saw me cooking he came over to watch and when I was carving the sausages he pulled out a little plastic tomahawk and told me you need the right tool for the right job.
Smart kid.
When I was done he helped me bring everything to the table and sat down to tackle a “GIANT HOT DOG”.

The weather was perfect as the evening moved in.
Cool but not cold, closer to the warm side of it.
Not a bloodsucker in the air, just the laughter of my family and friends.
Most of these people don’t know each other outside of my bbq but every year when I hold this and they get together, they just continue from where they left off.

They sit around swapping stories.
Two Scots sang a song about Irishmen with syphilis.
The most disturbing part was the Irishmen there were laughing.

The whole reasoning behind my bbq every year is for me to keep my family in contact with each other instead of slowly fading away as those before us pass on and I want my friends to be there because to me they are my family.

From an early age I learned the power of numbers and the more, the merrier.
Over the decades that I have held this, every year on St Peters Day, I have had hundreds if not thousands of different people attend.
Many of which I don’t see any more but the core are still here and every year they show up with a new grandkid or kid.
There may have been fifty people here on Saturday but as I stood by the grill cooking I could hear the voices of the ghosts of those not around to attend any more.
Many I miss dearly.

Like the different styles of clothes that have changed over the years so do the faces as we get older but I know one thing for sure.
I don’t miss wearing polyester while standing in front of the bbq.
I used to think I was getting fatter by the second and tearing through my clothes like the Hulk before I realized my clothes were melting from the heat.

The party went on outside until about 4 am and then with the help of those who remained we picked up everything and stacked the chairs before moving inside to continue.

To be continued…….

I have alot to do this week but I will do my best to get around to your blogs soon.
I have not forgotten anyone, I am just pressed for time and sleep.

Have a nice day

Walker