blue moon (2)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

BBQ 2008 ©

Gezzz, I’m still limping here.
I’ve been pissing out rainbows from all the different jelly shooters I drank.
Not to mention flashbacks in between passing out and waking up.

“Uncle Walker don’t you think my sister and I look alike”?
“Well, your sister is 5 inches taller and practically has no tits and you’re five inches shorter and stooped over all the time because your tits are so big”.
Yeah you both look alike.

“Walker I have to leave for an AA meeting at 8 pm but I will be back at 9 and we can have a bottle of white wine together”.
“OHHHHH KAYYY”.

“Ummm Mahmoud, you’re eating a pork Souvlaki”.
“It’s Ok, I will wash my mouth out with a beer after”.

“Uncle Walker can I have a Jelly shooter”?
“You have to ask your father or stepmother first”.
Father: You can have one but don’t tell your mother
Stepmother: You can have one but don’t tell your mother
Stepsister: Have 10 and don’t tell anyone

Father to Walker

“I have been cooking this chicken for an hour now and it barely looks cooked”.
“You are out of propane”.

“Walker, can you do something about the cat. It keeps trying to eat the dip”.
“You used his cat bowl for the dip”.

“Walker, who’s the hot lady in the white dress and the long black hair”?
“That’s John”?
“Joan, that’s a nice name”.
“No, John, his name is John”.
“But John is a man’s name, not a woman’s name”.
“I know uncle Chris, he’s a man”.
“But he is wearing a dress”.
“That’s not a dress, it’s a caftan”.
“What’s a caftan”?
“An excuse for a man to wear a dress”.

“ I think you should get back together with my sister”.
“ I think you should stick your head the microwave to see if popcorn pops out of your ass”.


Those were bits of some of the happenings at my BBQ.
In whole it was a success even though only 50 showed up at the time only to have the ones that didn’t show up in the morning to push it until 8:30 pm the following day.
Needless to say I was more tired than drunk but don’t be fooled I was hammered.

My mother said that everyone was drunk because of those “BOMBS” aka jelly shooters, that I made for everyone.

This years Jelly shooters were color coded.
Lime Green was 2 parts vodka and one part water.
Cherry Red was 50/50 vodka to water
Orange was one part vodka and 2 parts water
This way people got to choose how drunk they wanted to get.
Most picked one of each HA HA HA

The night started with me cooking up sausages on the barbecue then cutting them into mouth sized pieces then opening a bottle of Metaxa (Greek Brandy) one of my friends brought over for us to drink.
After that everyone dove into the three coolers containing everything from beer to coolers and lots of bottles of white wine and Retsina.

The crowd had been split into two groups.
The older ones sat inside where there was A/C and TV while we sat outside out of their prying eyes and drinking like fish.

One of my friends brought her grandson over who has multiple disabilities and was having a fun time playing with my niece until he saw me turn on the BBQ and drop the sausages on t he grill.

This is one tough kid let me tell you.
From the day he was born the odds have been against him.
He was born with part of his brain missing, a cleft palate, a lazy eye and is autistic.
When he has a seizure they have to take him to the hospital and kill him to end the seizure then they have to kick start him up again.
They said he would not live more than a couple of years but he is 10 today and goes to school.
He loves Batman and Catwoman.
He’s the only one I am willing to share Halle Berry with, in fact I gave him a life size poster of her as Catwoman to him for Christmas.

When he saw me cooking he came over to watch and when I was carving the sausages he pulled out a little plastic tomahawk and told me you need the right tool for the right job.
Smart kid.
When I was done he helped me bring everything to the table and sat down to tackle a “GIANT HOT DOG”.

The weather was perfect as the evening moved in.
Cool but not cold, closer to the warm side of it.
Not a bloodsucker in the air, just the laughter of my family and friends.
Most of these people don’t know each other outside of my bbq but every year when I hold this and they get together, they just continue from where they left off.

They sit around swapping stories.
Two Scots sang a song about Irishmen with syphilis.
The most disturbing part was the Irishmen there were laughing.

The whole reasoning behind my bbq every year is for me to keep my family in contact with each other instead of slowly fading away as those before us pass on and I want my friends to be there because to me they are my family.

From an early age I learned the power of numbers and the more, the merrier.
Over the decades that I have held this, every year on St Peters Day, I have had hundreds if not thousands of different people attend.
Many of which I don’t see any more but the core are still here and every year they show up with a new grandkid or kid.
There may have been fifty people here on Saturday but as I stood by the grill cooking I could hear the voices of the ghosts of those not around to attend any more.
Many I miss dearly.

Like the different styles of clothes that have changed over the years so do the faces as we get older but I know one thing for sure.
I don’t miss wearing polyester while standing in front of the bbq.
I used to think I was getting fatter by the second and tearing through my clothes like the Hulk before I realized my clothes were melting from the heat.

The party went on outside until about 4 am and then with the help of those who remained we picked up everything and stacked the chairs before moving inside to continue.

To be continued…….

I have alot to do this week but I will do my best to get around to your blogs soon.
I have not forgotten anyone, I am just pressed for time and sleep.

Have a nice day

Walker

28 comments:

Fire Byrd said...

It sounds a fine party, and such a good idea to maintain those family connections, even if only once a year.
x

Anonymous Boxer said...

Bwahahaha - I LOVE the snippets of questions/etc. that you remembered. It's amazing what people say after a few jello pops.

PS - thanks for the recipe.

Walker said...

Fire Byrd: It was great fun as it usually is.
I like the fact that we could still connect every year even if we don't hang out as a rule

Walker said...

Anonymous Boxer: I wonder what I don't remember ha ha ha
The young ones who are starting to drink now are the funniest because they haven't learned how much is enough and keep drinking until they find the world spinning or they're puking in the ally

INNER VOICES said...

"I could hear the voices of the ghosts of those not around to attend any more.
Many I miss dearly."


right on man....


yeah bbq keeps people together... and indeed brings back the memories..

another great post.

Teresa said...

Is Jelly shooter the same thing as a Jello shot?

Just telling it like it is said...

After laughing my arse off..I started to get nauseous reading your jello shot list then I was try9ing to remember what color when with what amount of alcohol, but since I am dyslexic I though what the hell when I have a party I am going to say that their is one part this and one part that...but they will all be 50/50 then I can blame it on my dyslexia and get way with it...

If you take some B-vitamins complex it will help your liver process and you will feel better

and you can tell the scot's man all you have to do is get a couple of shots of penicillin V and they will be clean...and and tell them to rap it up next time...

Just telling it like it is said...

I'm still jealous that I wasn't there is that wrong??

Gypsy said...

I think your bbq has surely reached legendary status by now Walker and you will be remembered for them for many years I'm sure. It's so easy to lose contact in this busy world in which we live....you are doing a wonderful thing for everyone though their livers may beg to differ.

Hope you get back to something resembling normal soon :)

Puss-in-Boots said...

Ahhh, sounds like a bloody good night, Walker. Those shooter sound ok...if you just stuck to one type. All three and I think they'd be pretty lethal. Unfortunately, I can't do all that these days, something about my system no longer being able to handle riotous living...what a shame!

Monogram Queen said...

Oh I would have LOVED to have been there and I would love to meet your friend's grandson. I used to work in the Special Education Classroom in school and volunteer with Special Olympics.
I have tried jello shooters but even the liquor can't get me past the wiggliness *shudder*

The Troll said...

I liked the part about "feeling the presence of past attendees". The whole post was solid, though.

You should probably name a Vice-Host so the tradition carries on if you're hurt or jailed or die or something.

Peter said...

G'day Walker, the annual BBQ went off like a packet of crackers by the sound of it, or perhaps that was John/Joan going off like a packet of crackers??

Luka said...

I'm so glad it went well.

Sounds like my kind of party.

Scarlet said...

Oh yeah .... i am soooooo there next year!

(whether you want me or not!)

Michael Manning said...

Walker: I was always curious why "Lolapalooza" went bankrupt. Now I know the secret!!! The audience caught an airplane ride to your BBQ!

OPA!!!!!!:D)

Walker said...

INNER VOICES: Thanks.
I just like keeping my family and friends close especially our kids so that they will know family instead of fading away into the woodwork as many others have in the past.

Walker said...

Teresa: Yes they are :)

Walker said...

Just telling it like it is: I take my vitamines almost regularly and Vit Bs are high on my list.
No its not wrong ;)

Walker said...

Gypsy: I just hope our friendships that are made at these things live longer that anything else.

Walker said...

Puss-in-Boots : Atually I use the 3 color codes so that people could drink at the level they want to. There were some teenagers that are left out every year so it was easy making some watered down ones for them to have so as not to feel left out but thje green ones wee killers LOL

Walker said...

Monogram Queen: He is a good kid and always surprises me.
Its to bad many people see him as disabled and not a kid to sit and have fun with.

Walker said...

The Troll: I have thrown many parties and bbqs over the years and the missing souls are the ones I remember and miss the most.
I have spent alot of time with people and done many thing with them to.
It's hard knowing you will never see them again but in my memories I still can see them laughing and joking with each other

Walker said...

Peter: It went off with a bang but in the end we all ended up in the John for one reason or the other lol

Walker said...

Luka: Its a party for all to have fun and leave their worries at the door

Walker said...

Scarlet: You know you are welcome any time :)

Walker said...

Michael Manning: I don't think that was the problem with "Lolapalooza" and its a shame it did go bankrupt.

RV Dealer said...

well glad it went well.