aNimAL hOuSe ©

I’m sore and tired thanks to my sister in law and I dread helping my ex sister in law moving her daughter because I know it’s going to be worse from what I had been doing all night long.
Last Tuesday my brother was at the door with Biggie asking me if I could watch him for three days.
I had plans for the weekend which involved moving out most of the stuff in my kitchen and washing down the walls and the ceiling.
I used to love having a high ceiling.
I hate it now.

The kitchen was the only place left to paint so I picked up some pain the other day for this weekend but I had to wait for the dog to go because most of my time is spent protecting him from the cat.
It sounds funny having to protect a dog from a cat but my cat's mean and territorial in fact, the first night I slept on the couch with the dog sleeping between my legs and the cat sitting in the hallway waiting to kill him as soon as he got off of the couch.

The dog is dumb as a doornail.
The cat knows how to draw him out. He waits for when Biggie is looking at him then prances around then runs up the stairs.
The dog being like any other dog chases anything that runs instinctively and the runs after the cat upstairs.
As soon as the cat gets upstairs she hides until he gets up there and starts looking for her.
Once in the depths of hell Frick comes out and blocks the stairs and the only way back down to safety.
It’s here that I start hearing the yelping from upstairs and I have to go rescue the stupid dog.

Frick has been with me for almost nineteen years now and knows the rules of the house.
You puke or crap on my floor; you get hosed down.
Biggie who is not really house broken because my SIL doesn’t bother.
She rather take him out to do his business when she feels like it.
It’s not like she has a lot to do because she doesn’t. The house is a mess and completely cluttered with junk and she barely cleans.
The kid is in daycare so she has the time but she would rather go out shopping instead.
The last time I was there I saw dog turds behind the TV and I was determined not to find any in my place so I took the dog out every three hours for a walk and each time I told him why we were going out so he could associate going out with going for a shit.
All this was going well except on the FOURTH day.
That’s right the fourth day, one day longer than three days.

By this time the cat and dog were pretty clean from being hosed down with my water bottle to separate them but they did get to the point wher3e they could both sleep on the couch with me as long as one was at my feet and the other by my head.
When I play with Biggie, Frick thought Biggie was attacking me so he ran up and bashed him in the head a couple of times too.

One day while I was watching TV, the dog was sleeping at my feet and Frick was walking on the top of the couch.
Frick walked to the end where the dog was sleeping and bent down for a closer look at the sleeping dog.
Once he was sure the dog was asleep, he dove down on him almost giving the dog a heart attack and start smacking him before the dog could get all his senses back.

By the fifth day I was pissed.
I have no problems with Biggie and in fact he was supposed to be my dog when the SIL decided she didn’t want him only to change her mind.
I don’t know why she has a pet.
The dog spent two weeks at her sister’s place and then she dumped him at my place when she went out of town.
I don’t think she has had the dog for a full month since she got the dog a year ago.

The problem with getting him back and forth like this is that the cat and the dog never really get used to each other and I find myself wasting my days watching t hem but by the fifth day things had begun to calm down and I didn’t have to watch as much as on the first day.
In fact Frick would walk right past Biggie’s nose and everything was ok by then, they even ran to the door together top see who was talking outside.
It was on this day that Biggie and I had to run for our lives.

We were coming back from another trip to the park and as we were crossing the street we could see a motorcycle coming down towards us but I could see it was turning and it was slowing down to make the turn.

Halfway across the street and my eyes glued to the motorcycle I saw the rider cut the corner to tight and the front wheel hit the sidewalk jerking the handle bar to the left and down went the bike.
Biggie and I froze in the middle of the street watching it all go down, but it didn’t end there.
The bike had enough momentum and was now on it’s side sliding towards the dog and me.
Both of us were like deer caught in the headlights of a car and stood there like idiots as the bike got closer and closer.
When we did come to our senses I ran for the sidewalk we were crossing to and Biggie decided he was going to run to the other one we had just come from.
Basically we were both still standing in the street tied together by a leash.

With the bike just about ten feet away I pulled and swung the dog like a kite past me as I ran.
He landed in the neighbor’s bush just as the bike and its rider slid by us.
Pulling the dog out of the bush I followed the path of the bike and ran to help the lady that was on it.
She was pinned under the Harley and couldn’t get her leg out as gas was spilling all over he and the street from the tank, which had somehow lost it cap.
I tied Biggie off to the handle bar and grabbed the side of the bike and started lifting.
Those of you who have never had the pleasure or raising a Harley that has been dropped must know the fucken thing weighs over 600 pounds.
That’s why you NEVER drop you bike.

I told her to pull her leg out when I lifted it which she did and I managed to get it upright and got the kickstand out so I could leave it standing.
She had a cut on her head from her glasses where her face smashed the ground but other than that and being shaken up she was fine.
The bike would need a little work though, the light was toast and the chrome was scrapped.
I could tell this was a new bike and I bet she hasn’t had it for long.

I asked if she needed an ambulance and she said no.
We both looked at the bike and we both saw Biggie pee on the front wheel.
I apologized for the dog but she said it was ok, that she felt like peeing on the wheel to.
While she sat on the sidewalk I went and found her glasses which were knocked off of her face and had to look for one of the lens that had popped out and I found it back where she initially fell.
After making a phone call a guy came running around the corner a little while later and pushed the bike home for her.

Day six came and I decided I couldn’t wait any longer so I went into the kitchen to at least move some of the stuff now that I didn’t have to worry about the dog and cat as much as I did in the beginning.
I have to get rid of more stuff I think in the kitchen.
It wasn’t until 9pm on Sunday when the SIL came to get the dog.
3 days = 6 days

It was 10 pm before I started painting and about 4 am when the second coat was finally on.
I didn’t do the corners or edging, I figured I was to tired to start climbing on top of a ladder and pretend I was Spiderman so I went to bed dead tired and woke up this morning feeling like someone had ripped my arms out of their sockets.

I’m sore but almost done.
The quest to have my house ready by this winter is on track.
Don’t worry those of you who are itching for pictures you will get them when the house is good and done.
In September I am going to buy a new washer, dryer and a brand new dishwasher.
I may need a new bed to, mine kinda got destroyed last week and not by the rain HA HA HA

Have a nice day

Walker