It’s 8 am and I’m sitting here stoned and looking at another
5 rolled joints.
Today I am taking a break from life.
The cats are joisting in the corner with the smallest one
winning by the looks of it.
I feel like a general who has been winning all the battles
but loosing the war
On top of what
responsibilities I had I have had to help a couple of friends in need, morally
and physically being there for some tough news.
Last month as I was watching the TV around 10pm I get a call
from a friend who is not feeling well.
I have been telling her for years she has to quit drinking.
She drinks no less than a litre of wine in a few hours, gets
drunk and passes out.
She says her nose has been bleeding for hours and won’t stop
and she doesn’t feel so good.
So I get up and drive over to her place.
Using the spare keys she left with me in case something ever
happened I walk in and find her sprawled on the floor trying to get up.
Hauling her ass up she puts on her outer gear and we climb
the stairs from her tomb apartment to the outside where she throws up and
stream of blood across the white snow.
I’m thinking this can’t be a good thing.
I put her in the back seat and peeled off actually more like
slid off to the hospital.
Pulling up to emergency I mostly carried her to reception
where the nurse put her in a wheelchair and asked us to wait in the reception
In the reception area there were about 50 people already
there waiting to see a doctor.
I hate this.
First I hate hospitals yet I find myself always in one for someone
Then there is the 6-8 hour wait in emergency.
Why do they even call it that I don’t know for a place for
an emergency they should take a long time getting to you.
So we are sitting next to these people who she starts
convulsing and projectile vomit flies out of her mouth all of which is red and
black blood clots.
I mean., lots AND LOTS OF IT.
I freaked out but not as much as the rest of the people in
the room as they watchthe growing lake of blood around us on the floor.
When I looked around the room people got so scared the ran
out of emergency probably thinking there were in the presence of an Ebola
I the nurses ran over and rushed her off to the back where
they started to undress her.
I sat on the other side of the curtain waiting.
After a few hours they determined, she was anaemic hence the
nose bleeds and because she hadn’t pinched her nose properly the blood was
running down her throat and pooling her stomach then she would puke it out.
That wasn’t her only problem,
She was going through alcohol with drawls and her body started shaking
It took three of us to hold her down until they could strap
her into the bed.
After some blood work they drugged her up and put her on a
That’s when I turned and left the hospital only to find a
forty-dollar ticket on the car.
In the morning 7 am to be exact the phone rings, it’s buddy
and he needs to go to the hospital.
Are you fucken kidding me and he has to go to a hospital at
the other end of town.
Pardon me while I have another joint.
Is 9 am to early for a beer?
Yeah, maybe, I’ll have a scotch instead…..
Single malt scotch after Kellogg’s cornflakes don’t go so
Oh yeah much better now
LA LA LA
Oh, oh yeah, so here I am at 7am dragging my arse out of
bed, fighting with two cats for my pants and one who likes untying my boot
while I am tying up the other one.
Twenty minutes later I am in the hospital waiting room of
yet another hospital.
I swear if he started puking blood……..
Eight hours later I drive him home.
As I was driving off I figured I would go to the other
hospital to see how my other friend was doing.
I had called her son the night before to inform him his
mother was at the hospital.
They don’t always get along and it’s mostly because of her
Parking the car in the lot this time I marched through
emergency towards the restricted area where I gauged me steps to someone
walking towards the door from the other side so that when they opened the door
and walked through a step passed them and into the back without the hassle of
being told I wasn’t on her family list.
Walking past rows of full beds I find hers.
Curtain wide open she is sitting on the side of the bed,
topless and in a jumbo diaper.
At that moment all I could think of was Homer Simpson.
Hello, a little common decency would be fucken nice.
I walked into the cubical and asked how she was.
I looked into her eyes and she was totally out of it.
I was jealous.
Turning I took a hospital robe from a cart and covered her tits
then pushed her back onto the bed and covered the bottom of her body.
Inside I was pissed and wanted to rip someone apart for how
I had found her but I just sat there and waited for someone to show up which
After I got the report from the doctor I put in my ten cents
of what I found and how people should be treated.
He wasn’t amused with what I told him I found but I don’t
expect him to care much either.
That evening my mother called screaming my father was
I am out the door and next door in a blink
My father was grasping the counter trying to stay up with my
mother crying and freaking out next to him.
He has had the flu and I took him to the doctor just that
day and he was told he had the flu and bronchitis.
He was prescribed medication and was told it would take a
few days for them to kick in.
My parents being well into their 80’s any small incident to
them is dieing.
My father is worse.
All the way back from the doctors he is telling me, “ I am
We all are I tell him but he says he is dieing now.
At home that day I laid out his medications and told them
what to take and when.
Easy peazy for the average person but Greek immigrants are
Antibiotics for the bronchitis once a day
Benadryl for his throat and the chest congestion 3 times a
3 puffs from the inhaler 2 times a day
Pepto for his stomach
Tylenol 3 times a day.
My mother gives him 1 Tylenol for the whole day
Syrup once for the whole day
3 puffs from the wrong inhaler
Instead of pepto for his upset stomach she gives him
Galveston, which does the opposite and traps all the gas in my father who is
now bloating like the Pillsbury doughboy.
I call for an ambulance because he really thinks he is
cashing in his chips.
I also called my brother to tell him the old man is in
trouble but he said he was busy watching the Leafs game at the bar and would
call my SIL to come down, no, I didn’t call her, he is his father.
Now I am pretty stressed out.
I haven’t really slept in days and all this hospital shit is
getting to me.
The Paramedics got there quick and had set up shop next to
my father in under ten minutes of my call,
It helps living 2 blocks away.
By the time my SIL showed up with my niece they had
determined he OK to stay home and if things seemed worse they would rush right
That’s when she walked in and heard them say that.
She started saying our doctor was no good and they should
take him to the hospital.
She went on to say her mother is a doctor and she took
nursing classes and she believed my father should go to the hospital.
That’s about when I lost it.
First off, her mother is a psychiatrist or something like
Secondly, thinking about being a nurse isn’t the same as
Thirdly my doctor through her out because she used to go to
see him with 100 different ailments she found on the internet and had already
decided what the doctor should do before he even looked at her.
Oh yeah, I went ballistic.
“Get the FUCK out of this house now you stupid BITCH”.
She went to say something.
‘Shut your fucken trap and get out”.
This is where the ambulance attendant, a young guy in his
20s though his balls had fully grown decided to step in.
He tells me to watch my language in front of my niece.
At that moment, language wasn’t an issue, my niece hears
worse at home from her mother’s mouth and this was about my father not this
Walking towards her I pointed to the door and said in no
muffed voice.”GET THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW”.
What does the attendant do?
He says “Shut up”.
I stopped half way down the hall and turn around.
I walked right back to him and in a calm voice said “Say it
“Tell me to shut up in my house again”.
The female attendant knew he fucked up the first time.
Everything up until my SIL showed up was cordial but I guess
he was mesmerized by her fake tits and didn’t see the real danger infront of
He walked away and the SIL beat it out the door leaving my
She later told the male attendant her mother talks to much.
He came an apologized to me for stepping out of line before
My SIL has yet to speak to me, WHOOOO HOOOO
My female friend got out of the hospital but two days later
fell and fractured her knee after getting drunk when she found out she had
cancer in her girly bits.