2012: Almost Like The Movie ©

I’m tired.
Really fucken tired.
Happy New Year.
New my ass, looks like the old one if you ask me.
The last one ended with a bittersweet feel too it.
For instance, on Christmas Eve I said goodbye to Inia and the boys because I had to go back home.
Yes I picked up D1 along the way and I always love seeing my girls but Christmas fucken eve is when I want to be all together but circumstances this year screwed up all our holidays.
Yeah, yeah you still got to spend time together
Yeah I know that and yes yes yes there are people in the world who can’t see their loved ones because they are someplace else doing important work.

Inia’s youngest had a plan.
Cute little fucker. who will one day defeat James Bond 007, probably with a quantum nerf cannon which he will most likely build with a gazillion legos and become the Mighty Zombie Slayer.
Oh come on, James Bond’s a freakin zombie or a fucken time lord like Dr Who.
He never dies.
Gets all the women and every couple of years changes his body and face into someone else.
The only time my face changes is when I shave and it’s still scary.
One likes it shaken in a tall glass and the other likes shaking it in a police booth.

Any way he came up to me one night while we were alone in the TV room.
“I can fit in your container over there you know”.
“All you have to do is make some holes so I could breath”.
“I will need some juice boxes and chips because I would get hungry”.
“OH YEAH, apples to”.
“ Maybe a pull-up, better make it two it might get bumpy”.
He’s six.

I was there for ten days so I shouldn’t complain but it doesn’t feel right.
Christmas doesn’t feel like it’s complete yet.
Yes I know the original Christmas, according to the Orthodox Christians is January 7th but I’m not seeing them then either.
I can’t take the tree down with presents still under it now can I.
OK the eggnog I drank but I was afraid it would go bad.
It is after all the 5th and I made it on the 15th.

I arrived home on the midnight bus loaded down with 120 pounds of things I picked up.
No, I left the kid but the offer was tempting.
D1 had her own load to haul, not as far as I had come but she went to the bus station right after doing a shift at work and she was tired as we both stood there at the bus station me after ten hours on the road.
I hate fucken buses.
It was midnight on the button
Christmas day
.
We grabbed a cab home and came home to 11 happy critters and D2, so that’s actually 12 happy critters.

Oh and the stove hood fan that broke.
Actually that’s what this post is all about.
The other stuff was eggnog flashbacks.

My hood fan broke and I needed to get a new one.
Coincidentally a week before I took my father to buy one and it cost $400.
There was no way in hell I was forking that out after the money I spent on the holidays on my trip and the 50 inch TV Santa forgot to bring me.
$400 for a fan and it doesn’t come with a remote or build in blue ray player?

I decided I would pick one up online and I did.
Today I called someone who had a brand new fan for $60 and it was like my father’s but black, a different model and made by a different manufacturer but it was new.
It just didn’t come in a box and later I found that it was missing a major part.
But it was new.
Had a littler, lot of dust on it.
It was kind of huge too.
About the size of a B52 bomber wing.
But it was new.

Did I tell you where I had to go for the fan.
No?
Oh let me tell you.
Go for a pee, it might take a while.

Have a nice pee day

Walker