blue moon (2)

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Soggy Bottoms ©

Wow , that was a long pee.
I hope you feel better?
At any rate I’m glad to see you back.
I would have been back sooner and I had a hell of a post more than half finished but the computer’s being the cocksucker they can be and decided to have four of my posts swallowed up and who the hell knows where it crapped them out.
I searched and just can’t find them so now I am sitting here all pissed off and can’t find the same zone I was in to write a batch of new ones for my blogs.

It’s been the whole story with everything I have been doing lately.
I start off this way and somehow meander my way back to the freakin beginning again.
“Hello, am I chasing my tail”?

Like that damn fan.
The guy selling it says he lives in a new development twenty miles out of town on a street named Miller’s Crossing .
Miller’s Crossing?
Wasn’t that the name of some movie about the Irish mob where they took people out in the woods to shoot them in the head?

So I go next door to tell my parents I am off and what general direction.
My mother, always the cautious one says, “You always go off to meet strange people you don’t know and one day someone ‘s going to shoot you”.
“Where are you going anyway”?
“A place called Miller’s Crossing”.

My brother who was there looked over and said “Didn’t they make a movie with that name”?
Um, no”.
“Yes they did, Irish mafia movie where they took people out in the woods to shoot them in the head”.

“What”?!
“See what I told you, you are not going to go get shot in the head for a fan”.

The instructions said to drive down River road for about twenty miles then turn right on Riverdale avenue.
From there take the first right on Riverview and the next left onto Rivermount.
Go for about three blokes and turn right on River’s Edge drive and the next left will be Riverside which turns into Miller’s Crossing at the end.

Half way there I am thinking I’m going down the river without a paddle and when River road ended at the 401 heading to Toronto I pretty much knew I was actually up a shit creek without a paddle.
Where the fuck was Riverdale?
I looked at every damn sign on the way up.
I turn the car around and head back in the direction I came from and other than farm land and forest there was nothing from the 401 to civilization.
I blew about an hour before I pulled out my cellphone and called this guy and he tells me it’s a new development.
Yeah yeah I got that the first call.
He tells me there is no sign just a stick with a numbered tag on it because the city hasn’t gotten around to putting up street names yet.

Great I thought, now I have to go out there an look for a fucken stick in the mud to find this place.
I turn around and once again I head off into cow country.
I am driving slow so as not to miss the stick and the people behind me, well they were not that happy but I realty didn’t give a shit to be honest with you.
At that point I would have been happy to pull over and beat the crap out of all of them.

About fifteen minutes later I see this four foot post with a numbered tag om the top so I pull over.
It was infront of this dirt road that lead up about four hundred yards before it disappeared into the woods.
What the fuck did I get myself into this time I am thinking.
AS I put the car in drive my cellphone went off so I put it back in park to answer the phonew.

“Hello”?
“You went there didn’t you”?
What the hell do you want”?
“I told you not to go but you still went”.
“Jesus fucken h christ”.
“Don’t you swear at me you little bastard”.
“What the hell you talking about you just swore at yourself”.
“Come home now”.
“Yeah yeahfucken parents.

I put the car in drive and take off down the road.
If she is right, a bullet in the head might be better than going home to listen to my mother.
It was a short drive through the woods when a whole new world opened up infront of me.
I felt like Alice falling through a hole and coming out to something totally different.
There had to be thousands of houses out here being built and just as many that were already occupied.

I read the instructions and go off to find not a street name but another stick in the mud with yet another number.
So all I could do is the ‘rights’ and ‘lefts’ without the names for a reference. What could go wrong….

Well, at least I found out one thing.
There is an actual river around here…..

Have a nice day

Walker

10 comments:

BlazngScarlet said...

I'm guessing that you found your way out of "the woods" since you're posting!
Did you leave a bread trail?! lol

Skye said...

Oh, sure, leave us in suspense once again.

Why didn't you bring someone with you as backup? Not that that did any good for the guy in Deliverance, but whatever. It would've made your mother feel better if nothing else.

p.s.,
Love the song

gab said...

I bet the computer is just like the dryer eating one sock and the cell phones that your already talking to a person when it tells you lost call or even the txt messages you send that never actually gets to the person your sending to. Ah techknowledgy isnt it great!? Yeah I cant spell the word and nope no spell checker on these little posts

Peter said...

Instructions always sound simple when you're listening to them... but doin' it is usually something else,

Lora_3 said...

How's it going?

Be safe...

Lora

Walker said...

BlazngScarlet: Yes I got out and no bread, I just backed up and followed the ruts i left in the mud like a train on a track

Walker said...

Skye: YOu know me, always the loner and besides i get all the spoils to :D

Walker said...

gab: Wits Splelling?

Walker said...

Peter: Exactly and why we throw them out when we open the box.
Instructions only confuse you.
So there are a couple of spare parts they probably don't belong

Walker said...

Lora_3; It's going.
Older slower but still pissing straight LOL