Manila, Philippines January 2015
11 years ago
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Walker's Home Shopping Channel ©
Ti’s the season to be jolly fa la la la laaaaaaaaa la la laaa laaa “choke” “cough couch cough”
I really got to find a way to quit smoking.
Sooooo I am down in the frozen American tundra, New York and I am sitting here doing my thing at Inia’s place when the phone rings.
Everyone is out doing things and I am home along with the critters and the TV to keep me company until everyone gets back home
I answer the phone and it’s some dickhead selling cruises.
What the fuck, I am thinking these bastards must have a gps tracking device somewhere on me to be able to find me even when I am in another country.
“Good day sir, I have an offer today you can’t refuse”
“Wanna bet”.
“We have discounts on cruises to Caribbean for you and your family”
“It’s ok man I don’t live here”.
“Ah, well can I speak to someone ho lives there”.
“No one is here at the moment”?
“I see, well can you tell them I will call back later”?
“I don’t think I can, I’m only here doing some last minute Christmas shopping and got do get out before they get back home but I can leave a note on the T.V………. hmmm that’s a nice LED television, I’ll leave it on the fridge”.
“Merry Christmas, bye”.
4 hours later
“Ah Inia, if the police show up ummm I am not here”.
Have a nice day
Peter
I really got to find a way to quit smoking.
Sooooo I am down in the frozen American tundra, New York and I am sitting here doing my thing at Inia’s place when the phone rings.
Everyone is out doing things and I am home along with the critters and the TV to keep me company until everyone gets back home
I answer the phone and it’s some dickhead selling cruises.
What the fuck, I am thinking these bastards must have a gps tracking device somewhere on me to be able to find me even when I am in another country.
“Good day sir, I have an offer today you can’t refuse”
“Wanna bet”.
“We have discounts on cruises to Caribbean for you and your family”
“It’s ok man I don’t live here”.
“Ah, well can I speak to someone ho lives there”.
“No one is here at the moment”?
“I see, well can you tell them I will call back later”?
“I don’t think I can, I’m only here doing some last minute Christmas shopping and got do get out before they get back home but I can leave a note on the T.V………. hmmm that’s a nice LED television, I’ll leave it on the fridge”.
“Merry Christmas, bye”.
4 hours later
“Ah Inia, if the police show up ummm I am not here”.
Have a nice day
Peter
Friday, December 09, 2011
Friggin Fridge ©
“Sigh”
Why does everything happen when the last thing you want is more fucken bullshit smacking you in the face?
I mean pull out a set of 44 DDs and whip my face black and blue but don’t kill my fridge just before Christmas.
Ghah
But wait
What’s that?
The sister in law has a relatively new side-by-side fridge with an ice and water dispenser she bought two years ago that doesn’t fit in her house with its custom kitchen.
How much?
$300 ……….SOLD!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok loosing 300 this time of year isn’t good but the fridge is a good deal and I do need one now.
So I run down and measure the fridge to see iof it will fit in my kitchen and as luck would have it no, it didn’t.
Half an inch to tall but that was ok; I was going to tear down the cupboards.
All I needed to do is make them an inch higher for the fridge to slide under.
SOLD, mine.
Hmmmm, this is weird.
“HEY”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“How the fuck did you get the fridge into the basement”?
“Really, through that door over there”?
“I see……….what the hell have you been feeding the fridge because its bigger than the hallway and the door now”?
“Listen, I measured the fucken thing three times and with the damn doors off to and it’s still to wide for the hallway”?
“Listen SIL, I believe you that they brought it through there”.
“What I am saying is that it fucken grew in the last six months because its to big to go down that hallway now”.
“How the hell do I know how that is possible”.
“It either fucken grew or the house is shrinking around it because it’s not going down that hallway”.
“What do you mean my brother gutted the basement and rebuild it”?
You know…………. FUCK!!!!!!!!
“Who the fuck build walls without fucken measuring and creating a plan?
Oh yeah, my brother.
“I wanted to make the garage bigger”?
“DUHHHHH do you think it was that size for a reason like maybe so that you can get shit in and out of the basement”?
Guess what, that fridge just became pat of he house.
Oh well, I guess Santa will just have to stuff a new one down the chimney.
Hmmm, I better hurry and build a chimney before Christmas.
Have a nice weekend
Peter
Why does everything happen when the last thing you want is more fucken bullshit smacking you in the face?
I mean pull out a set of 44 DDs and whip my face black and blue but don’t kill my fridge just before Christmas.
Ghah
But wait
What’s that?
The sister in law has a relatively new side-by-side fridge with an ice and water dispenser she bought two years ago that doesn’t fit in her house with its custom kitchen.
How much?
$300 ……….SOLD!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok loosing 300 this time of year isn’t good but the fridge is a good deal and I do need one now.
So I run down and measure the fridge to see iof it will fit in my kitchen and as luck would have it no, it didn’t.
Half an inch to tall but that was ok; I was going to tear down the cupboards.
All I needed to do is make them an inch higher for the fridge to slide under.
SOLD, mine.
Hmmmm, this is weird.
“HEY”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“How the fuck did you get the fridge into the basement”?
“Really, through that door over there”?
“I see……….what the hell have you been feeding the fridge because its bigger than the hallway and the door now”?
“Listen, I measured the fucken thing three times and with the damn doors off to and it’s still to wide for the hallway”?
“Listen SIL, I believe you that they brought it through there”.
“What I am saying is that it fucken grew in the last six months because its to big to go down that hallway now”.
“How the hell do I know how that is possible”.
“It either fucken grew or the house is shrinking around it because it’s not going down that hallway”.
“What do you mean my brother gutted the basement and rebuild it”?
You know…………. FUCK!!!!!!!!
“Who the fuck build walls without fucken measuring and creating a plan?
Oh yeah, my brother.
“I wanted to make the garage bigger”?
“DUHHHHH do you think it was that size for a reason like maybe so that you can get shit in and out of the basement”?
Guess what, that fridge just became pat of he house.
Oh well, I guess Santa will just have to stuff a new one down the chimney.
Hmmm, I better hurry and build a chimney before Christmas.
Have a nice weekend
Peter
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