blue moon (2)

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

BD 2011 ©

So, how was your weekend?
Mine was relatively usual.
I mean with my relatives and friends how could it not be, like Saturday for instance or should I say the earlier hours of Saturday.
Specifically 5 AM!!!!!!!.

I hate those early morning calls.
You know, the ones that wake you up with bad news.
No one calls to say “Hey man, you just one a million bucks”
The other day the phone rang at 1:30am.
I look and it’s my mother.
She never calls this late.
My blood went cold as I picked up the phone.

Hello”?
“It’s your mother, it’s your father”.
OMG….!!!!
The worse flashes in my mind.
“What’s wrong”?
“His stomach hurts”.
“What”?
“WHAT”!!!!!
“WHAT”!!!!!!!!!!!

“Why are you yelling”.
“What”?
“You call at 1:30 am and say, “It’s you father” like a scene from some Greek tragedy and you ask why I am yelling”?
“Your father said I shouldn't have called “.
“Of course he did”.
“He ate two pounds of fucken hot Italian sausages and now his gut hurts''.
”Wait until tomorrow when his ass feels like it swallowed a flamethrower”.
“Give him some Pepto and the tube of Preparation H for the morning”.
I love my parents but they drive me crazy.

The phone rings at 5 am.
What the hell now?
“Hello”?
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY”!!!!!!!
“Harry Belafonte”?
“No, no you got the wrong number”.
“Happy birthday”.
Huh, I look at the clock
“It’s 5am, the only happy I am at 5 am is waking up with Inia’s lips around my dick and I don’t see them down there”.

“Happy Birthday Walker”?
“Is that you Frank”?
“Yeah”.
“Thanks, I’m just telling your wife to blow me”>
“I thought she already did that”.
“That’s not all she did”.
“What”?
“Nothing”.
"Giggle"

“It’s 5 am”.
“It’s noon here”.
“Yeah well I am not in Liverpool England”.
“I’m surprised you even picked up the phone”.
“So am I”.
"You must be alone".
"Shudup".

Thirty minutes later I’m punching the pillows back into shape to try and salvage some sleep then curl up next to my rolled up Inia simulating comforter and pass out.

9 am the phone is ringing.
WTF

“hell oh”
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY”!!!!!
“Huh….. oh yeah, yeah Thanks, I think”.
“Were you sleeping”?
“No, I was jerking off to see if it still worked”.
“Of course I was sleeping”.
"I am surprised you answered the phone".
"Isn't Inia there"?

"Shu " “Happy Birthday Walker”.
“Thanks Paul”.
“You know Paul, if you lay on your ol’lady a little longer in the morning she wouldn’t be waking me up at 9 am”.
“He does the laying all right it’s the moving he needs work on”.
“I told you I was getting a vibrating bed for that”.

It was 9:30am when they finally hung up.
I don’t get it.
They call me up so they can talk to each other on the extensions while sitting in the same room.

There was no hope in my going back to sleep now so I slowly got up and made my way to the washroom.
I needed a shave, a haircut, basically I still looked like I did a year ago.

Finishing in the bathroom a made my way downstairs where I found D2 cleaning up the kitchen.
We have arguments about the kitchen.
She is now full tilt into baking and has decided she wants to be a pastry chef.
She is doing her co-op at a pastry shop and works there on the weekend when not in school.
She is waiting for them to approve her apprenticeship application and if accepted she will have her wish by the time she turns 23.
But in the mean time she is making shit loads of pastries and cake.
I have gained fifteen damn pounds because of it.
She comes home with four boxes of rich creme filled cannolies or pastries.
The other day one girl made a mistake and made 5 of the wrong cakes so the boss gave her one to bring me.

WTF!!!!!

NO NO NO this can’t go on I told her and what’s worse.
She doesn’t clean up when she bakes.
She just leaves and when I get in I am left dumbfounded by what I see.
Today she was cleaning up the mess she made two days earlier.

I dropped at the computer while she cleaned up and looked at my emails, fourteen of them.
All were for my birthday and ten from Facebook.
You know, I have no idea how to use it.
I don’t really care for it, I still prefer msn but that’s me.
I don’t even know what to do with them.
They are on my “wall”.
Do I straighten them out or wallpaper over them?
At any rate I thank all of you who have sent me the best wishes.
I still think getting panties in the mail is more entertaining than Facebook HA HA HA

After spending the afternoon dealing with more phone calls and stopovers from friends I finally got some peace and quiet around 6.
That’s when I decided to shave and take a shower.
As I was walking to the washroom the phone rang and it was my brother inviting me over for his birthday party that he was having.
His was a week earlier so I said fine not wanting to be anti social and told D2 she was coming along and will want to go home by 10 pm.
And they say you can’t plan for the future.

Around 8pm D2 and I headed four houses up to my brother’s house where we were greeted by the sister-in-law with her tits hanging almost completely out of her shirt.
The SIL loves her boobs and enjoys having them out on display.
Walking past her there were some of my brother’s friends with their wives who all knew me.

I sat in the living room with the guys while D2 went to the kitchen with her sketch book as she had to design a wedding cake for her boss.
After shooting the shit with the guys I got up and went to the kitchen to get myself a drink and talk with the wives who were all pissed drunk when I walked in.
Last time I saw my brother's boss's wife she was naked.

To Be Continued….

Have a nice day

Walker

5 comments:

BlazngScarlet said...

Sounds like a "Walker" Birthday!
Too bad Inia wasn't there!
lol

Peter said...

Did everyone see the boss's wife naked or was it a private showing??

Ozkatt said...

I'll wish you a belated Happy Birthday when I've read part 2...

sam said...

such a fantastic informative site.
Nissan 300ZX Turbocharger

sheena said...

Buick Park Avenue Supercharger

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.