blue moon (2)

Thursday, February 17, 2011

A Walker Valentine ©

So, how was your Valentine’s Day?
I know I didn’t put up a post for it but Inia and I don’t really celebrate it.
We figure it’s something we should be doing all the time and February 14th is just a ploy to get more of our money.
I mean if you feel the need to wait all year for that one special pre set day to show you love, well then that’s cool.
I would rather do things my way and be spontaneous.
With that I also forgo the panic shopping people do trying to find that special gift that will surly get their pecker wet or at least one hell of a good pussy licking.
Hell I get that now without fighting a hoard of desperate men at the mall.
You think women are bad during a shoe sale.
You should see what a herd of men with no clue are like at the mall but my beliefs on the day didn’t save me from having to go out to the mall today.
My mother picked Valentine’s Day to make a payment on her credit card so off I went to the department store.

As soon as I walked in you could tell what day it was.
Hearts and chocolate all over the place.
Racks of perfumes and other bath baskets.
There were cards and flowers and chocolates and chocolates and chocolates.
Did I mention chocolate?
There was fucken MOUNTAINS of boxes of chocolate and as I looked past all that what did I see?
Men walking around blindly looking.

HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s all at the front door where you came in.
They must have been blinded by the sea of red when they walked in and didn’t see anything with their hands shielding their eyes.

As I walked towards customer service I passed a rack of chocolate boxes and one of them caught my eye.
I walked over and picked it up.
Wow”, I thought “Now this is cool” so I grabbed the box.
Yeah I know what I said but I am not buying this for Valentine’s Day but because it’s cool and perfect for her.
It just happens I found it on this day.
If they made cool shit like this all year they would make more money without a special day for it.

I go to the customer service and make the payment then head off to the cashier to pay for the box of chocolates.
At the cash there was a guy in front of me and he had 4 small tiny boxes of candy.
I mean they were small.
Ok I don’t do Valentine’s but buddy if I did, I wouldn’t be showing up at home with only that because whoo hoooo you going to get banging but not like you want too.

He looks down at my box of chocolates and asks me whom they were for.
I told him, “ They’re for my ol’ lady”.
Really, man are you going to get it”.
I look down at the four one ounce packages of heresy kisses and tell him, “When she sees this, she’s going to fuck me twice as hard because of it”.
Really”?
Fuck yeah, I know women and I know mine and when I put these in her hands, she will be on her knees thanking little Buddha until Easter”.
The cashier’s eyes bulged as she listened to our conversation.

Wow”.
Damn straight and they’re 50% OFF TODAY”.
You’re kidding”?
Nope, everything over there that says VD on it is 50% off”.

He turned, looked where I showed him just as the cashier picked up his chocolates to scan and he stopped her.
He grabbed the chocolates from the cashier and headed towards the rack.
I stepped up to the cashier and passed her the heart shaped football box of chocolates.
The girlfriend just loves football”, I told her.
I nodded in the direction that guy took off in to find a box like mine and said ”He’s fucked”.
She just nodded and started laughing.



Have a nice day

Walker

18 comments:

Opaque said...

I wanted to celebrate it this time, but my Valentine left town two days before the day. :(

poet said...

I can just hear you in the checkout line, walker......
Happy few days after :) poet.

BlazngScarlet said...

HAHAHAHAHA
That has to be one of the most original boxes of chocolates I have seen!

"she will be on her knees thanking little Buddha until Easter”.
Little Buddha?!
bwahahahahaha

gab said...

so ok I say they are cool looking...then Im going to say damnit you just made my neice richer than she was 24 hrs ago. WHAT DO YOU MEAN you say? Yep said you just made my neice richer......ok yeah yeah you didnt know....as if she didnt make enough money posing in Playboy magizine years ago her father is WHITMAN of whitman chocolates! damnit she has all the luck!

gab said...

oh and my hubby didnt get me anything zip zero nada nothing...he said I got him thats all I need! lol candy once in awhile would be nice though but ok you know its just another day to him

Lora_3 said...

Did you have a happy VD?

I need to send some catalogs to your place. Nothing says Love like Gold

Oh come on VD is a great day to act like a fool in love.


Ahhhhhhhh your still my ice covered boyfriend.

Be safe...

BikerCandy said...

Oh Walker, you are a very bad boy! You did that on purpose and now that poor man isn't going to get laid. ha ha ha

I'm not big on chocolates myself, the hubs and I prefer to celebrate VD by having a nice steak and lobster dinner at home with a nice bottle of wine (or two) and some fun in the bedroom. Now that is my idea of the perfect Valentine's Day!

Cindy said...

Just dropping by to let you know I thought of you and all the Bond Girls this week when I watched Goldfinger with Pussy Galore...

and I bought my own chocolates the day after Valentines... half off, and the freshest chocolates you can find.

Miss you all,

*smiles*

PBS said...

That's one way to celebrate Valentine's Day, one of my favorite days in the year!

Walker said...

Opaque: You can celebrate it any time with him.
That;s the point.
Valentines day could be any day you want.
It's about love not a date on a calender

Walker said...

poet: Everybody hears me at the cash. I don't exactly have a soft voice.

Walker said...

BlazngScarlet: Yes ity is and i have never seen one like it.

Walker said...

gab: If it make you feel better that is a file photo the company that made the box of chocolates i used was made bu someone else but i couldn't find a picture of it to use.

Walker said...

Lora_3: I don't need gold to show love.
I find other ways, more entertaining and fulfilling ways to show it.

Walker said...

BikerCandy: I always do it on purpose.
Makes life more enjoyable

Walker said...

I have missed all the bond girls and i always hold them close in my heart.

Walker said...

PBS: If it brings a smile to your face then keep celebrating it your way

Blogget Jones said...

That's a great story :o)

For Valentine's, Jacob gave me a book on the history of prostitution and bordellos in Colorado. I love that stuff :o) Surprised? Didn't think so....

You should have seen that conversation, though:
Me: "Oh cool! Look at this book! Bordellos of Colorado!"
(pause)
Jacob: "Seriously?"
"Seriously."
(pause)
"I love you."

:o) BJ