blue moon (2)

Friday, September 24, 2010

Broads ©

So I am sitting here minding my own business like usual when the phone rings.
That fucken phone, sucks a chunk of my money and bugs me when I am laying on the couch watching TV.
.
It rings around noon, it’s my SIL.
She wants to know if her EX best friend had dropped off my nieces $600 karaoke machine at my place
I told her “no”.
She had dropped off a compressor and an electric plainer a couple of days earlier but now amp with cordless mic.

These two used to be friends but as is with head strong women something got in between them.
Tits.
I swear to you, it’s true.
The SIL is obsessed with tits.
She went out and bought a set but I don’t think she got them big enough because she keeps clashing nipples with bigger ones.

Her EX friend easily outguns her but she is the complete opposite.
She hates hers.
Me, usually I just sit back and watch Juggomania smash up against each other, usually when they are drunk but this last time they got dirty so now they are in a state of all out war but somehow I got stuck in the middle.

The SIL said EX friend insists she gave it to me.
Umm, no.
Oh, the SIL is parked outside EX friend’s house waiting to go in and snap her bra strap.
I hung up the phone and my mother calls.

She said SIL is looking for me.
I told her I had talked to her and hung up

Brother calls and asks if EX friend left the stuff here.
I tell him no and hang up.

SIL calls and says the EX friend gave it to one of my kids.
Huh?
What, new direction, Um I’ll ask when D2 gets back from school was my replky and hung up.

Phone rings, my brother wants to know if one of my daughters got the stuff.
I DON’T KNOW I WILL ASK and hung up.

Mother called.
“I SAID I DON’T HAVE IT”!…
“Oh, yeah, I will be right over for lunch”…..

D2 comes home from school three hours later than normal which mean my brother called three more times before she got home.

She says no one gave her anything.
Called brother, told him, hung up
Called SIL, told her, hung up
Lay on the couch and turned TV on.
The doorbell rang.

I open the door and it’s EX best friends sister.
She wants to know if her sister left the stuff here.
My parents come out the front door to listen to my answer.
D2 was there as witness.

WTF?!!!!!

These two are so hot to go at each other their crotches are soaked with anticipation but why do they have to drag me in this?
Normally, being stuck between two large breasted women would be a good thing but in this case, I don’t think so.

I never got this much of a headache from any of the women I dated, past or present but I am getting a migraine from two I am not even fucking, fucked or want to fuck.
Sometimes I want one of those two head cocks Archie keeps telling everyone he has to plug up both their mouths for a little pleasure for a change but they are gnawing at each other so much they’d probably chew them up and spit my balls like pits across the room.

I don’t understand any of it other than it all started over boobs and I’m stuck in the middle.
So what’s new?
Nothing and you wonder why I get stoned.

They say guys are bad,
HA HA HA!!!!!!

Have a nice weekend

See, I can write a post under 5000 words PTHHHHHHH!!!!!

Walker

8 comments:

Opaque said...

You are caught in between something that you have no interest in... phew!

itisi said...

You could just turn off the ringer and let the answering machine pick it up...

Skye said...

Yeah, but then he'd also have to lock the front door and stay inside with the lights off, pretending not to be home...lol.

Funny about your 5000 word comment. I only made it through half of your previous post and need to schedule another 20 minutes to finish the rest :)

BlazngScarlet said...

I guess moving is out of the question?!

Peter said...

Just two words for you Walker.......
EAR PLUGS.

Lora_3 said...

Hey!

Be safe...

Shana said...

your family is FUNNY!!

BikerCandy said...

So, I'm seriously wondering where is the crap? Did the ex-friend just keep it and blame you for losing it?