blue moon (2)

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Where's The Mothership When You Need It? ©

OK
I’ve had it?
Life is hard enough as it is but now
Well it’s just getting out of fucken hand.

You know, I mind my own business most of the time unless someone is in need of a hand and to shy to ask and then I would offer some help otherwise I keep to myself.
Fuck, when I am lost I wander around the place not wanting to bother anyone.
Besides, something weird usually happens when I interact with people so I do my best to avoid it.

Now, saying all that, I do try and be polite so if someone I don’t know starts up a conversation with me I won’t be rude and interact with said person.
Unless he/she says they’re waiting for the mother ship then I may tend to slip away like a shadow when he/she blinks.

So I am sitting in the food court at the mall and some guy I don’t know comes and sits next to me.
Great, there are a million empty seats and this guy drops next to me.
I don’t know what it is but if I am in a bar having a pint and someone sits next to me it doesn’t bother me as much as someone sitting next to me at a eatery as I am eating.
Maybe I subconsciously think he is going to swipe my food, who knows, but it bugs me.

I’m sitting there chewing a 300-calorie mouthful of burger and he says.

“Hi.”

Now what, why does he want to talk to me for
Crap.
Crap Crap Crap
I hope he’s not a Jehovah witness or something like that.

Hi” and I take another quick bite trying to minimize my losses.

“How are you”.

How am I, I’m fucken hungry and you keep talking to me.
I’m just fine, and you” then stuff a couple of fries in my mouth?

He gave me this funny look.
“So what are you up to today”?

Great, a fucken fag, what do you expect, I’m a block away from parliament.
I got nothing against gays and have many friends who are gays but I hate being hit on.
I guess it’s that “Do I look fucken gay dip shit” attitude most men have in the back of their heads.
Bring your sister over so I can fuck her up the ass and make you cry with envy.

I’m eating this and going home” then took another bite?

“Can I come over to your place”?

Are you out of your fucken mind”?!
How about I shove the rest of this fucken burger down your god damn throat and clear out of your ass without letting you taste digesting it you fucken freak”!

“Hey, can I call you back, some asshole next to me is threatening to kill me”.
He gets up, takes something out of his ear then takes off down the hallway towards security.

Great, FUCKEN BLUE TOOTH!!!
Another mall I’m not coming back too

Have a Happy Father’s Day

Walker

6 comments:

Skye said...

hahaha...too funny. I bet those blue tooths have caused a lot of fights just for that reason, and probably created a lot of headaches for the cops too.

Happy Father's Day, Walker! Don't let the crazies win!

Just telling it like it is said...

I'm thinking you should sit down, smoke some mary jane and it should all be good!

Boxer said...

Happy Father's Day. :-)

Heff said...

Those things ARE irritating. I've become confused in that manner several times.

BlazngScarlet said...

Ok, I'm one of "those" people.
Well, sorta.
I only wear it in the car.
I refuse to walk around having a conversation with myself.
(more so than I already do that is)

Peter said...

It can be a bit embarrassing when you start to answer someone only to find they are on their mobile phone and not talking to you at all.