blue moon (2)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Soccer Or Sucker? ©

I was lying in bed this morning staring at the ceiling thinking about how things are today when the phone rang.
Looking at the caller ID I could tell it was my mother.

“Hello”?
“Those black people are dirty”.
“No ma, they were born that way”.
“That’s not what I mean smart ass, I mean they play dirty”.

Greece was getting their butts handed to them this morning by Nigeria until they just tied it up at half time.

Have any of you watched soccer?
It’s a different type of football.
It’s a sport without honor just back stabbing bastards with degrees in acting.
You know who make the best soccer players in the world, the kids who always started trouble and cried when they got caught.

A good soccer player has to be able to fake a horrifying injury so the referee could penalize the other team and the second he gets it or is evident he isn’t he is up on his feet running down the field like nothing happened and no worse than he was before.
What the fuck is that?

They celebrate goals differently that we do here.
Here when you score a touch down there is a little dance in the end zone and head butting by the head bulls.

In soccer they practically have sex on the field.
Ripping shirts off and running around kissing and chewing on eat other’s cocks.




It wasn't me, I swear.
I'm innocent I tell yeah, innocent.



Come get some of this.



You're so sexy when you score?



Kiss me you fool, I just ate a sardines.



Yes Yes Yes !!!!!!!

cough, cough, I mean well done....
Ok it's not ALL bad

Shit like that doesn’t happen in hockey.
We wear cups…………or is that the real reason hockey player have no teeth?



I don’t know when all this shit started happening.

I mean I played soccer for years and we didn’t give a fellow player a blowjob after he scored a goal.

Fuck, he was lucky we didn’t fuck his girlfriend behind his back.


Hit play, it's only 13 seconds long.



He got a $500 fine for not doing it right and a spanking but he begged the judge for more punishment and threw hiw credit card at the clerk to pay for it.


The world is going nuts.

Last week in the papers here there was a big hoop-a-lah about some new rules they were putting into effect in the junior soccer leagues here.

It seems that some teams are to good and score goal by the bushel full while other could barely tie up their shoe laces so they put in a rule that says that if a team wins with more than five goals on an opposing team then they would loose.


Huh, say that again so I can hear it clearly.

If the game goes six nothing at the end whistle then we loose?

Are you out of your fucken noodle?

They did it.

They passed the rule and for about a week they lived with it.


One coach ordered his player to score on his own goalie to win the game because they were one goal over.

Another has his players passing the ball around the backfield for thirty minutes just in case they scored one by accident.


What the fuck are we teaching our kids with shit rules like this.

We put our kids out there and tell them we want them to do their best and some pacifist with a sense of fairness decides that it would be only far to pass a rule like this.

Before this rule there were thinking of one that said no matter what the score was that no one would loose and it would be a tie.

WTF!!!!!!!!


Competition is about giving it your all and reaching for the ultimate prize, being number one.

Achieving a goal you have set to reach.

Not having it snatched by some person who thinks that it’s more important to play than win.

Yes, having fun is important but winning is the goal.

If some teams suck then they should look into why they suck.

All the kids are in the same age group so size wise it’s far.

Maybe some kids are not cut out to play soccer but their parents want them too.

Maybe they want to play but aren’t good at it but they still play.

Even loosing has its rewards.


WE lost lots of games.

We lost all of the important ones but we were always stoked that we lost in the finals.

We lost in the finals, a place they never expected us to get to but we did two years in a row.

We sucked as players but rocked as a team.

Loosing made us fight harder


These kids don’t need stupid people changing the rules so unbalance the cycle of life.

They need to leave things as they are so that these kids could grow and become champions in everything they do in life.

Making changes like this soccer league did only makes out kids weak.


In life they won’t change the rules to accommodate you.

You need something you have to go out and get it.

If you need more training you take night courses.

If you can’t run for long periods you take up jogging and get better.

You loose a game, you figure out why and how then fix the problem.

Oh look, Greece scored again and won the game.


Hold on a second.


“Hello ma, did you see that gay Greek guy grab the other one by the ass”.

"He’s not gay, he is wishing him luck”.

“You sure he wasn’t checking to see how firm his ass was”?


Yeah, soccer is not what it used to be.


Have a nice day


Walker


7 comments:

Luka said...

Soccer's always been like that here - lots of bare-chested frolics to celebrate scoring a goal and lots of "I'm dying" scenes worthy of Shakespeare if they get a mildly bruised shin.

There was a phase of non-competitive sports in schools here a few years ago. They'd have sports days where no one won and everyone got a "I did my best" sticker instead. It was crap and it soon fizzled out. Without competitiveness there's no development and society goes nowhere.

Shana said...

My boyfriend's son's soccer league is like that: Each kid is allowed to score only 2 goals per game. Over 2 and they don't count! What a load of shit.

Puss-in-Boots said...

Jane and Fred's two boys play soccer and there's no stupid rule such as the one you describe. How absolutely bloody ridiculous!!

As for that video clip...was that for real???? Eeeeew!

craziequeen said...

I am just embarrassed by England's lacklustre showing so far in the world cup - how humiliating for a nation that supposedly has football (soccer) as it's national sport......can't even win a game!

Stop paying stupid salaries, get some proper talent and practice, practice, practice....

less kissing and dancing - more playing.......

and I don't even like football! :-(

cq

Heff said...

REASONS # 155 - 160 that I don't watch soccer.

BlazngScarlet said...

Ball envy?!

Peter said...

Our Socceroos didn't do much good at the world cup but at least they don't go for Academy Awards.