blue moon (2)

Monday, May 25, 2009

Still Here ©

I’m here, I’m here and no AB I am not dating, especially not with Inia wrapped around me like a python.
I figure I’m either going to have some strong gluts or live with rug rash for the rest of my life.

Nope, I’ve been a slug.
Lying about on the couch like Frick.
Some might say I was being lazy.
I see it as recharging the batteries from a wild weekend of debauchery.
It was an orgy of sweets from cannolies to donuts then usually ended up in the bedroom burning it off.
Something new I leaned the other day to.
A woman can snag your cannoli from both ends if your not watching.
Must be the cream filling.

This was also the first time I had a woman stay over with D2 in the house and I was a little nervous.
Well, until the dress slid down her body to the floor and I forgot my name let alone that I had a kid around someplace.
Actually she was still in school and said she had practice that evening so it gave us two hours to ourselves.

I’ll spare you the gory details, oh stop complaining I got three sex talks lines up for you soon.
Anyway, about an hour and a half later and totally exhausted I suggested we clean up before D2 got home.
I get up and put on my shorts on then open the bedroom door and who is standing not ten feet away?

“OMG I heard everything”!!!

Now, as a parent I’m thinking “shit”.
As a fifty year old man I’m thinking, “ A witness to prove I can still do it without dieing”.
Just think how Inia’s feeling, she hasn’t met D2 yet.

I asked what she was doing home and she said they cancelled practice,
Oh well, what’s done is done.
For the rest of the weekend we all had a good time getting to know each other. D2 thought it was fun taking pictures with my camera of everyone’s butt she saw on the street.
She got a few nice ones too, “wink”.

The weekend went well and as it passed D2 and I found ourselves alone and me being as I am I asked a few questions and she had a few to ask too.
I don’t know if having me for a father is a good thing or not but the only way I know how to answer difficult questions it to bluntly go where it scares the shit out of me and be frank about it.

“Why was she screaming”?
“Well, she was having an orgasm”.
”But she was screaming for a long time and what was all that banging”.
“Ummm, she was having multiple orgasms and I was trying to keep her down on the bed”.
“Why was she trying to get out of bed”.
“She wasn’t”.
“The why were you holding her down in the bed”.
"I wasn’t she was just thrashing around”.
“Why was she thrashing around”?
“Because she was having an orgasm”.
“Why was she having and orgasm”?
“Because I was helping her have one”.
“Get a book”.

As I sat down later thinking to myself.
I thought about the weekend and what we do that impacts our children.
How they see what we do and learn things to use in the future.
My kids know I smoke and they know what my feelings are towards it.
D2’s friend boy told her how much he would like to smoke one with me and I told her I’d knock his block off if he tried to before the age of 19 which is the legal drinking age and until then he will have to sneak around like I did and do it.

By the end of my thoughts I started laughing to myself.
Can you imagine down the road when D2 gets a boyfriend and her expectations of their sex life is based on what she heard that night from my bedroom.
I sit here laughing at the thought of having a future SIL show up at my door because D2 sent him to find out how to make a woman scream like Inia.
I guess it's all in the cannoli HA HA HA!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I"m still here and have six posts started just haven’t finished them yet but they will be coming soon.
Time is the enemy here and the weather, how can you stay in when the weather is this beautiful.

Have a nice day and a Happy Memorial weekend to my American neighbors



nachtwache said...

I'm impressed. You find time to post with all this in your life and more. How exactly did you meet? Something about her showing up on your doorstep?
Might as well be honest with the kids. I bet she has alot to discuss with her girlfriends now. :)

Peter said...

I knew you would have a good excuse for your absence from blogging!!!

Puss-in-Boots said...

Right...well, there's not a lot to say after that lot. Glad you've been enjoying yourself! Lol!

Scarlet said...

I need to visit YOUR bakeries.
Damn ....

Just telling it like it is said...

Quit telling people that we are not dating because you know that we totally are...

Fire Byrd said...

I'm impressed how cool you and D2 are together.
Sex is definately done in this house with no-one sons in. It's bad enough that that the neighbours get to hear!!!

Walker said...

nachtwache: I don't find time.
In fact i go nuts trying to find time but its all good in the end.
The first time I saw her was at my door.
The kids knew i was nuts already they are just finding out now how much LOL

Walker said...

Peter: Life is the only excuse Peter

Walker said...

Puss-in-Boots: We all have to find time to enjoy ourselves before we make life bitter with bordom

Walker said...

Scarlet: You just want to squeeze the buns ;)

Walker said...

Just telling it like it is: I thought this was supposed to be a secret.
Gezzz the rules keep changing

Walker said...

Fire Byrd: Hidding the obvious only makes everyone look dumb.
I think what happens behind closed doors is private and doesn;t need to be flaunted but at the same time let it be known.
Makes it normal and not something to be thought of as being wrong

Scarlet said...

Only yours ;)

BikerCandy said...

Ha ha ha...I can see it Dad, would you have a talk with Boyfriend please, he doesn't seem to "get it". Bwa ha ha

Suzanne said...

I'm not a parent. You know that. I'm proud of you for being so open with D2 because I'm not sure I could. I'd be so afraid I'd screw up a child with honesty. No, I'm not kidding. But kids are smart. Look, my mom had me and didn't realize half the child I was would turn out to be twice the child she expected.

You're doing a good job with the Wee One. You also seem to be quite busy. What the hell do you eat?

XO ;)