blue moon (2)

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Tell Us ©

May I speak to Walker?
Sorry he went for a walk

May I speak to Walker?
Can I confirm you’re address please?
I don’t give information over the phone.

May I speak to Walker?
How big are your tits?
Your tits, how big are they?
I mean are they nice big melons or just little lemons
May I speak to Walker please?
Yeah, yeah later, tits first

May I speak to Walker?
Fuckoff !!
Oh wait
fuckoff !!

May I speak to Walker?
May I speak to Walker?
Who’s a whore?
NO, may I speak to Walker?
Is Walker there?
Hold on as second……..CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!
Yes I can, may I speak to Walker please?

May I speak to Walker?
I would like to confirm your address
I don’t give information over the phone
How about confirm your postal code?
You stupid or just look stupid
How do you know what I look like?
I can tell from your breath.
And I suppose you can smell my breath over the phone.
I don’t need too; your mouth is full of shit so I know your stupid

May I speak to Walker?
Hey you sound new.
Are you new?
Yes today was my first day.
Really, so how do you like it so far?
It’s pretty busy but it’s ok.
Well that’s great, anyway I got to go so why don’t you have a nice day
Hi it’s me again, may I speak to Walker?
Fuck you

Telus is still trying bust my balls over this phone crap.
They have no idea who they are dealing with.
Their collecting people must think I am stupid.
I told them I am ready for court but they don’t want anything to do with it because I’m right.
I don’t know if they screwed up or are just plain trying to rip people off but I’m one nut that won’t buckle under any ones threats and they have been threatening me with all sorts of shit like ruin my credit.
HA, the ex did that already.
Put lean on my house.
No big deal, they still have to go to courts for that and that’s what I want.

I am one of those people who won’t try and rip you off.
All my bills are paid so why would I mind seven bucks a month for a cell phone with no strings attached and there wasn’t until the first bill came in and there was a rope attached to it to the tune of 150 bucks and 49 a month.

I called and the said they had no idea what I was talking about.
Uh huh, well I do
Fuck, we didn’t even do this shit to people when I was on the other side of the line and they thought we, were bad HA HA HA.

The war continues and we are both relentless in our efforts to beat the other into submission but as of late it seems I have struck a few nerves and their attacks have increased causing me extreme amounts of pleasure.
You see, I went out and found other disgruntled Telus victims who fell prey to the same scam and after some thought and an idea that came to me after a nice joint.
It was to; it had this sweet taste.
Or it could have been the mango flavored rolling paper, but anyway.
Now when the hounds of Telus call them they say,
Walker said to say, “Go fuck yourself” and they have HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!

I really love life sometimes

Have a nice day



Sally said...

You tell em buddy!! :)

Fire Byrd said...

They must love you!

I'll have to remember this approach when I get my next completely annoying conversation with the phone company.

deni said...

I hate those HOUNDS OF HELL who take harrasment lessons from the devil. Damn Collection Agencies.

Peter said...

My money is on Walker for a victory here.

Anonymous said...

hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

Lindy said...

They're getting into a fight they don't want. Do you have anything like an Attorney General there? Could be the way to go. Sue them first.

Boxer said...


I'm stealing all of these. Brilliant.

Monogram Queen said...

I am glad we don't have Telus in the States!

Aleta said...

I have a collection staff working for the finance company. We don't play phone games. Customer is called, if no payment, we yank the car. Simple.

I liked your responses though. Take it to court and stand your ground.

Dotm said...

That phone co. sounds like what I go through when the person calls me for donations for the NY City Police Dept. I sometimes give to my local Dept at Christmas as they do help poor families, but not to departments in other cities. I have spent 6 years telling him he can`t speak to Walt because he died in 2002. The last time I told him that, his reply was "just put Walt on the phone, he`ll give me a donation". By then I was getting real irritated and I told him that if he wants to talk to Walt then go to the Moss Street Cemetery in Hudson Falls and ask him if he wants to donate. I have told him many time to remove my phone number and never call me again, but he still calls. This type of donation phoning doesn`t come under the protected "Do Not Call Registry list " that I am on. It is the same officer as I have heard him so often that I recognize his voice. How stupid can a person be. He could easily check and know I keep telling him the truth, guess he isn`t smart enough for that.