blue moon (2)

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Chicken Salad ©

Welcome to Walker’s house of international cuisine where we do what we can to feed your every gastronomic desire.
Here you could get Asian, Greek, Italian, Mexican, Spanish, Middle-Eastern and any other food you may desire including junk if that’s what makes your mouth water.
So why is it with such choices, making dinner lunch and even breakfast for my kids it’s a pain in the fucken ass.

I mean they could have anything and when they say they don’t know I make what I think they may like only to hear I really wanted this and not what you make me.
Well, where the fucker was your mouth when I asked what you wanted to eat instead of this steak.

Ah I see. You don’t like steak because its like chewing rubber.
You don’t like roast beef because you think it tastes like a drowned cow but ground up and scorched on a searing pan is good but only if it has processed cheese which you don’t like between two slices of bread and melted because…………ah yes, it doesn’t have scorched meat in there too.
I get it now.

Yeah I’m making you your lunch, why?
So if its turkey you want only mayo but if it’s chicken you want mustard and lettuce unless I am making eggs salad sandwiches and then you want dill and a little mayo with no onions.
Ok gotcha.

What’s that?
Well I was thinking of making chicken sandwiches why.
Yeah I know, lettuce and mustard, no mayo.
I don’t know how Papou makes it only how I do.
What do you mean you want me to go next door so he could tell me?
Why don’t you just shut up and go do your homework.

Fucken amazing, she wants me to go to see my father to tell me how to make a chicken sandwich.
Kid is so finicky I’m going nuts trying to just feed her.

So what am I supposed to do?
I go next door and drop a bowl filled with freshly roasted chicken breasts then tell my father his granddaughter has requested HIS chicken sandwiches because they must be special.
Probably scratches his butt before he plays with the meat.

I sat there and talked to D1 as my father made chicken salad sandwiches with chopped up celery and parsley then chopped up the chicken and through it in a bowl with some mayo and mustard.
That’s the way I make chicken salad to but I don’t like chicken salad I usually just slice up the meat while its hot and soak it in a lemon garlic oregano mixture until it cools then put some fresh lettuce on a thick slice bread add the chicken with some salt and pepper with mustard on the other piece of bread, simple but if this is what the kid wants what can I say.

The next day she came home and I forgot to ask her about lunch before she ran next door to have an early dinner but when she came back I did ask her about her lunch and she said she didn’t want to talk about it and went to her room.
I didn’t think much about it until an hour later when D1 came over and started laughing.

When D2 came home from school she was starving because she threw her sandwich away because ”It was gross”.
She sat at the table and was gobbling down her food like a starved beast

“D2 why you eat like that”?
“You hungry, you father no give you food”.
“Yes Papou he did but it was horrible so I threw it away”
“I told him to make it like you do”?

D1 was across the room waving her hands at her trying to get her attention.

“It was terrible”.
“ I told him to slice it up like you do but he didn’t and put mayo in it to”.

D1 was asking her a question to get her to stop talking.

“You no like chicken salad sandwich”?
“No papou, Dad didn’t make it like you”.

D1 kicking her under the table.

“But I make chicken salad”.
“Yes, last might you father bring here and I make”?

Ah yes, life is sweet
Oh and I was the one who made that sandwich she liked not my father but hey, what do I know.

Have a nice day



Lindy said...

It never fails. With mine it doesn't matter how you make it. One time they'll love it the next time they hate it. You can't win with the kids.

Scarlet said...

Teenagers ... they know EVERYTHING!
What were YOU thinking sily man?!


Rainbow dreams said...

They have to learn to do it themselves... then there can be no arguments...
the only way forward I reckon!!

You're a patient man :)

Teresa said...

Can I move in?? I would be happy with whatever you cook!!

Anonymous said...

I'd be just happy someone else was making it for me. Kids...!

When we were kids and didn't like what was put in front of us it was tough luck. The alternative was jam sandwiches. Thank goodness I've always had a cast iron stomach.

Sally said...

Awwww, I see you're all settling in really well. Sounds normal to me. :)

No mustard for me, thanks. hahahaha

You're a good dad, Walker. A really good dad.

BikerCandy said...

ha ha you make one happy and the other thinks it's gross? Gotta love living with teenagers.

Leah said...

Yeah, I'll eat your food too. It sounds delicious.

We go through hell here at our house, over the food issue. It drives me bugfuck nuts!

Anonymous said...

right, dinner next friday?

Megan said...

So funny as I was reading this, realizing we had pizza tonight, and remembering your Pizza Odyssey...

must go find that post and read it again

Puss-in-Boots said...

Yep, sounds pretty much like a teenager to me. Welcome to the world of teenage daughters, Walker...hope you!

deni said...

Hmm, my mother taught me something when I was a kid and I used it on mine...SHUT UP, EAT YOUR FOOD OR GO HUNGRY! LOL

My oldest daughter was picky, oh well, I wasn't cooking more than one meal at a time. Ya eat what I make.

Michael Manning said...

Whip out the Baklava!!!! :D)

Peter said...

I'm with the ones who said "they should make their own lunch and not complain about it".

Monogram Queen said...

Ha haaaaaa BUSTED!