I'm Beat ©

Man o man can I use a break.
Most of the time I’m either exhausted or just plain tired.
The bus strike is over and hopefully there could be some kind of normal next week.
They say that it will take six weeks for full service to be back up like before which leaves me to wonder why?
Did they forget how to drive?
They never really kne2 how to drive to begin with so how much harder will it be for them to go back to work and be the menace they were before the strike.

Daughter number 2 (D2) managed to pull off her semester by getting the credits she said she would and as a bonus got the one she was going to loose by spending the weekend doing all the assignments she missed and scoring a 98 on her exam for the credit.
I’m I proud of her.
Damn right I am and that’s why I’m not complaining about having her here and the extra cost.
It seems the system would only help her if she dropped out of school because of her past history thanks to her mother.
There’s a piece of work people.

She used the system to the point where there is nothing left to help her with because in the end she abused it in my daughter’s name and when the kid couldn’t go to school she was cut off.
I was talking to the Ex the other day and told her I wasn’t getting anything for her and I was broke from paying for her school supplies, food and clothes.

You know what she said to me?
She said. “I told you she was a financial burden”.

That pissed me off right there.
The things I mentioned were the basic needs of a kid so that they could go to school and stay healthy.
Further more, she was getting $600 a month per kid to do that but she didn’t but instead enjoyed her trips to the casino by taxi while the kid stayed home because she didn’t have bus tickets to go to school or have a lunch to take with her.
Dinner was a lottery win.

I really wanted to tear into the bitch but I am not ready too.
I’m a tactician in everything I do.
I still have to get more things for the kids and I don’t want to piss off that brain dead sack of crap I call my Ex until I get all this done.
The only reason it’s cost me so much is because of the bus strike and the fact I have to play catch up on what her mother failed to do.
.
The way I see parenting is like this.
My job is make sure my kids can leave the house and they will leave the house because I am not going to be raising them until they collect social security so the can fend for themselves.
It’s my place to point out the dangers in life and how to avoid them and if they are unavoidable how to deal with them.

It’s my place to teach them that from t he time you are born to the day you die the most important thing in life is yourself.
To always protect yourself so that you can better protect those who you have welcomed into your heart.
Not to rely on others to survive because if you do you will only be someone else’s prisoner.
Trust no one, not even yourself but accept what you are willing to live with.
Life is simple when you don’t complicate it so that it’s so confusing is difficult to live that way.

My kids were like zoo animals who spent their days at school or at home.
D2 was locked in the dark closet for hours at times when her mother was to bothered by her.
What do I say to that?
I grit my teeth and control my temper.
Like I said, I’m a tactician.
I say little and go about my life as I always have and let them live it my way.

“Fuck” is a word I use being timid is not in my personality so when D2 asked if she could stay to watch the basketball game with her friend as school I said no because I couldn’t drive back to get her later.
Her friend, this rather peaceful looking child that could have been an angel said “Tell your dad.too suck my cock”.

Her “DAD” was three feet away and not totally deaf.
WTF!!!!!!

Dad to D2, “Scrap the mayo off your sandwich and give to her to put on her cock so she knows how good it feels after.
You should have seen the look on both their faces.
I’ll be damned if I am going to let some punk 16 year old kid treat me like.
Drag her back home and stick her back up her mother’s arse.

I grew up in a tough neighborhood with some mean and dangerous people but we all respected each other’s parents.
WTF is this crap.
D2 said she wasn’t really a friend but a classmate and she didn’t really want to go to the game.

I don’t know if that’s true or not and I would have let her go if she had told my earlier if I had not gone to pick her up but seeing as who she would have gone with, HA, I’m glad she didn’t.
I have been encouraging her to make friends and she has made some she went to the movies with and she is going on a trip with the key club she seems to be excited about.

D1 reluctantly told me about an art show that was on last night and had been asked personally by the artist to attend.
She has no friends either.
The artist is someone she works with and has been asked twice before but hadn’t gone because she is shy.
I told her she should go and have a little fun.
Learning to socialize is not a bad thing.

She hummed and haed and toyed with the idea.
I asked her what time it was and she said 8pm.
Fuck it as 7:50pm now.
Just then I told her to get her coat and I was taking her and it was final.
She got up and took off for next door and came back dressed and with the address of the place.
I looked at the name and then back at her.

This place was a grunge bar in the Market area next to a strip club frequented by bikers.
Gezz I thought, I wanted her to go out more but I didn’t expect her first time would be
There and she was going alone.
I’m thinking maybe I should have kept my mouth shut but it was to late now.

The look on her face was worth a million words when we got closer and she saw hell getting closer.
Drug dealers and hookers on the street pacing back and forth.
Big burly bikers and drunks sleeping here there and anywhere.
I could hear her mumbling something and ask what she said and she said nothing.

We pulled up to the door and the strip club and bar had side by side doors. She started getting worried she may go through the wrong door and end up in the strip club.
I told her not to worry, that I would walk her past the dogs smoking in front and show her the right door.
She said what would happen if I went through the wrong door and I told her that wasn’t possible.

We got out of the car and started through the small crowd when this big blond hair man walked up and said, ”Walker”?
I looked at him and said, “Rob”.
“Wow man we thought you were dead Walker”
“Hey man, no, I’m not that lucky yet but you’re still ugly as ever”.

He looked at D1, “That you’re new old lady”
D1’s eyes almost popped out of her head.
I looked at her then back at Rob, “Naw she’s to scrawny, no meat on her ass not like her mother”.
“Hey man is that your kid”.
“Yeah”.
“Good thing she looks like her mother”.
“ I don’t care as long as she doesn’t look like your ugly mug”.

I told him I would be back for a chat when I had the kid inside the bar then came to do a little catching up while sharing a spliff.
He gave me the low down on what has happened in the last ten years since I saw him and I filled him in on the rest of the boys.
In 88 we all scattered into different groups and didn’t see each other as much.
The only information was through the news or the grapevine.

When I got back home D2 asked me how it went and I told her about the strip club door and how she was scared to go into the wrong place and we both started laughing.
Then she asked me if I told her to bring me one back for me and I told her I forgot but I will remember for next time.

I spent the next two hours at home waiting for her to call so I could go get her.
She only said an hour but I figured she might have been having a good time and was sticking around.
NOT that I wasn’t a little nervous.
When I left Rob said he would keep an eye out for the kid but I still have to worry and before long I found out I didn’t have to because she called.
I broke the land speed record for getting there too and when I pulled up in front she was behind a glass wall looking through the menacing crowd in front for me to pull up.

She got in the car and I asked her how it went and she said it was ok.
Weird art but she said she saw two that looked like something she might like.
There were a number of artists showing their stuff and she said her friend was happy with the turnout and to see her there.
She sat with her and her husband and later some more people joined them.

All in all she got out and had some fun.
It was both our first times and we were both a but nervous.
When we got home D2 ran downstairs and asked if she saw any strippers.
Kids…………


So are the kids a burden?
Only if you make them one.
My Ex will get hers in time, by her own hand and because of her own selfishness.
We are the architects of our lives, she is digging a hole.
But I’m keeping the kids no matter how much it costs me.
We go underwear shopping next week “Wooooo Hoooooo”.

On a personal note, I am doing my best to get around as many of your blogs as I can but I am so busy I have little time but I’m working on it.
Hopefully when the kids start taking the bus the old man can find himself some time to blog like before and maybe a stripper, who knows.

Have a nice day

Walker