blue moon (2)

Friday, February 06, 2009

Beattheoven ©

Yeah, yeah, I know, two posts back to back but I figure I owe you at least a laugh for the weekend, so let me give it a try.

I am sitting here listening to opera.
No not the skinny fat talk show host.
The music fat people sing to get skinny.
Someone call 911 for me before I buy a CD

Oh gezzzzz, to hit that note she must have got it deep up the ass……oh, it’s a guy.
Man I just know there’s a proctologist in the audience with tears of joy in his eyes from that note.

What the hell is this now?
Tchaikovski from the Ball Breaker or is that "Nutcracker", same thing.
Fucken Christmas music.
Any more of this stuff and I’ll go nuts.
I just know I am going to have dreams of dancing down the street like Gene Kelly did in “Singing in the rain” but in a Tutu.
There’s got to be a way to get this off of my IPOD!!!!!!

Now it’s Santana playing Amazing Grace.
I love that song.
I wonder, is that a sign?
Will Baby Blue be mine once more or will I smash the fucker to bits to regain my sanity.

Amazing Grace
Where have you gone
It’s been, such a long long, time
Since I seen, you last
But I’ll remember, that tiny, little thong

It seems, like it was only, yesterday
That we met, you and I
It was
But I’ve known, you like, forever now
So maybe, in the morning, you won’t be gone

I’ll wake up and you’ll still, be there
As will my wallet
I'll call you Honey, you'll say "Where's my money"
I’ll say, one more time
And we’ll meet again, until tomorrow, at the bank

Well it’s acoustic and I can’t remember the words

OMG!!!!!!!!!
It’s Gary Glitter.
Is he still alive?
Why?

911 PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

Gary Glitter singing "Another Rock and Roll Christmas".
Fuck 911, someone shoot me.

HA HA HA!!!!!!!!
Black Sabbath singing "I am Going Insane".
So fucken appropriate but to late.

Hmmmmm ok I can dig this, Pet Shop Boys, “West End Girls and East End Boys”.
Personally I just went north to Quebec.
Your chances were better of getting laid.
A case of Labbats 50 and you could probably get the mother and daughter while the old man drank the beer.

Oh my, it’s a double header with the Pet Shop Boys and “It’s A Sin”.
I got news for them.
After that “Amazing Grace” rendition I’m screwed baby.

Oh yeah, Donna Summer singing “ I feel love”.
Right now I’d forgo love to feel a nice pair of tits.
You know she sings this, like she’s actually getting fucked.
Every time I heard the damn song I wanted to get laid.
Hail to the Queen!!!!
To bad she had small tits.

No one had tits like Aretha Franklin though.
That woman opened her mouth and when she exhaled her ass seemed to disappear into her body and double the size of her tits before she let loose that crisp voice which could shatter glass but when she inhales, she could suck in a whole fucken roast pig from thirty paces away; cherries, pineapples and toothpicks.

Alright already Donna, enough with the feeling love and finish.
She never had short songs did she?

Now it’s a Greek song.
It’s just like dueling banjos but they couldn’t find any banjos, just a bouzouki and a piano.

CCR “Long cool woman” (in a black dress)
You’d think they would sing about a hot woman with no dress on but hey, I’m just saying.

Foreigner, “URGENT” and yes it is because man do I got to go to do the “Twist” in the washroom.

Have a nice weekend

Walker

15 comments:

Kathryn Magendie said...

Hey! I'm first - a first *laugh* - ah well, I take small pleasures seriously ...

Oh, 'brother walker P' - you are SO naughty! naughty naughty - but I come back for more, don't I? *laughing*....

celticgirl said...

WHY, oh why did you have to go there with Aretha???

Monogram Queen said...

Hey my iPod is polluted with Lionel Ritchie. Now I like some of his songs but this is overkill. It will be fixed this week-end.

Rainbow dreams said...

lol can't you just delete the ones you don't want? I should go through and clean up mine from the kids stuff too... apart from I'm almost sentimental about them now!! :)
Have a lovely weekend Walker

Megan said...

Interesting stream of conciousness there...

Scarlet said...

Leave Donna's tits alone .... she can't help it her lungs sucked them inside every time she sang!
That woman can SANG!
Talk about pipes?!

Damn ....

Oh, and I'm not sure i'd recommend the "Twist" while using the bathroom.
Something about twisting and peeing just doesn't sound right.

Boxer said...

I had a comment, but then the music came on, and I'm just sitting here listening. It's my most favorite song, played my most favorite way, with bagpies.

*sniff*

Thanks. You have a good weekend, Pal.

Boxer said...

er, bag pipes. Sorry, I'm drinking my first 'tini of the weekend.

Puss-in-Boots said...

How does this music get on your iPod if you don't download it, Walker? Do you have gremlins in your house. I know! You do it in a hooch like haze after a spliff or two with your mates....yeah, that's it!

I knew I'd figure it out. Tell you what...listen to your iPod during a spliff and the music will sound amazing...

paulwchambers said...

i tell you, it's been a while since I twisted or found myself in a washroom!!!!

hey.... by the way you are a good man, and the music from amazing grace is sending shivers down my spine.... Wilber was, well, words don't do justice....

Fire Byrd said...

You do hace eclectic tastes. But bagpipes oh dear god getme out of here.... gone

Romany Angel said...

Hey...stop hating on women with small tits. Perhaps we have other assets that make up for our lack of mammary action. :)

Have a great weekend Walker.

Michael Manning said...

Walker: I always suspected you were light on your feet! :D) Have a great weekend!

Just telling it like it is said...

You never cease to amaze me....

Peter said...

Gotta go with the no bag pipes group Walker.