blue moon (2)

Monday, February 16, 2009

Chewing The Fat ©

Ah yes, another holiday gone by.
A feast of ever lasting love and adoration for each other.
Valentines Day.
The day you are supposed to show your love and affection for you other half.
I would have said your better half but lets get real, who the fuck wants to concede the other person as better than you so lets just say your equal instead with a little cough at the end there.

As I look at Valentines Day and absorb the hype all over the place I begin to see the truth of it all.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe in love and think it’s something you should always show unless of course she is a Leafs fan and my team is playing them then she’s a bitch until the end of the game.

The way I see it is like this.
Valentines Day has become like the renewal of the lease of love for one more year and like the cost of living, the cost of LOVE goes up too.
Which means that someone might have to bend over to take the carrot up the ass to get that extra karat of BLING on her ears, fingers or maybe, her clit.

We have managed to commercialize everything from our beliefs to our love and put a cost on everything from our love to our feelings.
Everywhere I went to, it was red all the way up to the day and then everything turned green for saint Patty’s day.
No wonder the Irish are getting so fucked up.
They’re going from seeing red to green so fast they think they’re Newfies.

If you love someone then they know it, you know it.
For one thing your cock is still there in the morning and not swirling around in the toilet.
I for one believe that every day is Valentines Day and if you see something you think that special person in your life would like then get it.
Maybe bend over for nothing other than he'll like it, hell you might even like it.
If leave it all for one day of the year then that's sad and an empty feeling to live with all year.

At any rate, I hope you all had a great time and it was what you wished for.
Me, I had me a piece of ass to chew on and it was tender.
Baby was it tender and hot.
When I pinched the inner thigh the juices were running down the leg glistening as it dripped off onto the floor.
I had been planning it for a week and the kids knew.
I told them the old man needed a fix so I would be going out to have a little something of what I like.
My mouth was watering at the thought of Saturday evening.

I went over to Mike’s to have some roast lamb a few pints and catch up on what I have been missing with the rest of the boys since my parental incarceration.

You know, just to get out of the fucken house,
The boys haven’t been stopping by because of the kids and work so I decided to go out and break a couple of minor laws.
So I went over for a couple of beers, a few joints and some lamb.
The joints and beer had to be early so I could sober up because at 9 pm I had to pick up D1 from work and I don’t care to drive around stoned thinking I’m in the shuttle hanging ten on the edge of the moon.
I may not agree with the marijuana laws but I’m not ready to crash on the moon.
I wonder if CAA goes that far?

The food was great and the beers nice and cold.
Mike was showing me the pants I had given him and how good they were doing.
I have been giving everyone I know plants from the cutting of my plants.
Mike was complaining her was going to have to buy a bigger place because they were taking over.

He brought me up to speed on the antics of the boys over the last couple of weeks and I have to say I was sitting there dieing on the couch.
I’ll be sharing that with you a little later in the week.
From the depths of the Amazon to here and home the boys were being their usual rowdy selves.
Just think, most of them are less than five years from old age security and they still can cause hell wherever they go.

When it was 8:45pm I told Mike it was time to hang up the black leather once more and be the parent again.
I have no complaints and I am enjoying it for some insane reason.
As I drive down the highway I’m thinking about twenty-five years earlier and how the boys and me were a lot younger, full of piss and Jack Daniels willing to go to war with society to be free and we did.
It was expensive.

We partied hard and took uncalculated risks.
Left our blood on three continents.
At home, on the sidewalks.
On washroom floors with a lonely syringe laying dead along side them.
Shot to bits in the Himalayan Mountains.
Alone in a ditch a mile from home
A dozen that have never been found and a dozen more who are lost forever in their minds.

Those that are left will always remember their youthful energy and zest for life even if it meant their death, our mistress.
These are the boys.
I knew most of them from the time they were in diapers.
They will always be the boys and will be remembered by those of us left to tell their children and everyone else the stories of how they wanted to live free without boundaries and the price they were willing to pay to that end and theirs.

Those of us who are left are the caged beasts to our responsibilities, by choice but who knows, maybe one day we’ll once more get the opportunity to risk it all for the thrill of being without boundaries once more but for now I got kids to pick up.

I got to D1’s work a little early so I sat there with the windows down and the radio blaring out “What It’s Like” by Everlast.

She walked out of the building, got in the car and switched the channel to some of her I want to puke music.
I asked her how work was between the squeals coming from the radio and she said it was busy.
She talks to me more and more every time we are together and asks a lot of questions about the past and present.
I think she’s looking for answer to the future.
I try to be as honest as I could be with her even if the answers are hard for her to take.
She has dreams but not the patience.
She came here to be D2’s mother and protector as she had been at home but she found a totally different world than she had been taught to believe by her mother’s family.

I figure right now she doesn’t know what to believe.
Her mother did what she accused us of doing and had to find refuge with the people she was raised to believe that were evil.
I have been doing my best to keep her from hating their mother.
You can hate what she did but not hate who she is in my book.
To many people confuse the two.
You can’t understand why people do what they do but you don’t have to like it or agree with it.
I don’t know why she spent all her money at the casino.
Was she trying to win a lot of money to secure hers and the kids financial future and left themselves practically on the street and starving?
Who knows but I do know she fucked up.

I pulled into the back yard and she went home while I walked through the back door into very dark kitchen.
As I walked through the dark I could hear a noise coming from the TV room but it was dark too.
Just then Frick shot out of nowhere then ran between my legs and into the back of the pitch-black kitchen.

I made my way to the TV room and there was a video playing but no one in sight.
I went through the room and into the living room and out to the hallways then stood at the foot of the step and yelled up.
There was the sound of shuffling of feet from upstairs when a 2 1/2 foot alien walked to the top of the stairs and looked down on me.

Who the fuck are you I thought?
Then my niece stepped out from behind him and stood by his sid3e looking down on me too.
It was like a scene from the movie “Children of the damned”, I was just waiting for their eyes to start glowing.

I look up ay my niece, “Is that your boyfriend”?
Her head went from the little boy and back to me and said “NO".
“Are you sure”?
“Yes I am”.

I look at the little boy who was standing there not knowing if he should stand before this stranger or make a run for it somewhere to escape.
“Are you a boy or a girl pretending to be a boy”?
“I’m a boy”.
“I see”, I look at my niece who BTW is 5, “Is he your friend”.

“Yes”.
“But he’s a boy so that must make him your boyfriend”.
“He’s not my boyfriend”.
“Well if he’s not your boyfriend he must be your girlfriend”.

“I’m not a girl, I’m a boy”.
“Is she your friend”?
“Yes”.
“Is she a girl”?
“Yes”
“So she is your girlfriend”?
He looked at her then me all confused and said, “Yes”

“NO I AM NOT”!!!!!!

D2 walked out of the side where she was standing and laughing at the antics in the hallway.
My brother had brought my niece and a co-workers kid over for her to watch while they went out to dinner.
I turned and went back into the TV room and turned of Nemo then called my mother to get the whole story.
She told me they had just called saying they would be home in an hour.

About an hour later the SIL called to tell me they were on their way and I went upstairs to get the kids ready and as I walked into the room both of them were snug under the blanket together.

“WHAT’S THIS”?!!!!!!!!!!!
“The two of you in bed together, UNDER THE BLANKETS”!!!!!!!!
Their eyes almost popped out of their heads.
“We were just laying here”, said the little boy.

“Didn't they tell you when you just lay in bed with a girl you are supposed to have one foot on the ground”?
The little boy look next to him at the wall, D2 likes her bed pressed up against the wall to have more space in the room

“Both of you, out of that bed right now”.
They frantically crawled out and stood at attention in front of me with my daughter running for the washroom laughing
“You know what this means don’t you”?
They looked back and forth from each other.

“You have to get married now”

That’s when it happened.
The little boy fainted on the spot.

Man, I hate to be him when the real day happens.

Have a nice day

Walker

30 comments:

Kathryn Magendie said...

I am laughing at your "garage sale" comment you left on TG site *HAWWW!*

okay, now to read -

Walker said...

Kathryn Magendie: HEY!!!!!!!!! you came back to soon.
Damn....

Romany Angel said...

That poor little boy will be scarred for life.

I'm glad you got to catch up with the boys for a bit of fun. Being a parent is very rewarding but sometimes you just need to let it all hang out yes?

Walker said...

Romany Angel: As he should be HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!
You can't lock yourself up until the kids are gone or you will be wasting your life and maybe even resent the kids and thinking them as a burden.
Go out and have fun, just don't get caught

Scarlet said...

Poor kid .... :)

I'm so glad you got out and had some fun ... you deserve it!
The girls will find their way with their Mother ... it's just going to take some time for them to sort it out in their heads. Just keep doing what you're doing and the lines of communication open.

Lindy said...

You're some kind of a stand up guy, Walker. Those kids are lucky to have you (except the little boy that'll be traumitized for years to come). I'm kinda thinking everybody better get really good paying jobs to pay for all the therapy they're gonna need.

Puss-in-Boots said...

Walker, you were so mean to that little boy (rofl). You do realise that you've probably given him a complex about marriage for life? (Still rofl). I'd love to have been a fly on the wall, though (wiping eyes and trying not to rofl).

Peter said...

You can be a mean son-of-a-bitch when you choose to be Walker, that little guy will probably sue you one day!!!

Monogram Queen said...

Oh boy I got a huge laugh out of this post!!! Shame on you teasing those poor young un's!
Happy Belated Valentines Day my Friend!

craziequeen said...

[howls with laughter] oh, my lord, that poor kid!
I love your warped sense of humour, Walker :-)

We don't get sucked into the whole Valentine's thing. We exchange cards, which then are displayed in our bedroom for the next year.
Oh, and MB gets a steak dinner - because I love him!!

cq

Megan said...

One foot on the floor? Who made up that rule?

Walker said...

Scarlet: I want to keep as much of what i had and still be a parent.
I dont think having kids is about stop being who you are but having another facet to ones life.

Walker said...

Lindy: I'm more of a lie down guy but i cn stand up once in a while.
Bah the kid is resilient. he has run into me before and in tile he will brush my off like my niece does lol

Walker said...

Puss-in-Boots: Me give him a complex?
Naw, I'm just making him tougher.
Just think how hard his head will get after he faints and bounces it off the floor enough times.
At least i have carpet

Walker said...

Peter: The way I see it is get your shots in now because for sure you will get them down the road LOL

Walker said...

Monogram Queen: As a mother you must already relize that in time they ALL get even with us so get those jabs in now before they floor you down the road LOL

Walker said...

craziequeen: I do my best to make people laugh in person and on here.
Its what keeps the soul alive and young

Walker said...

Megan: Probably a distraught parent LOL

Scarlet said...

"Me, I had me a piece of ass to chew on and it was tender.
Baby was it tender and hot.
When I pinched the inner thigh the juices were running down the leg glistening as it dripped off onto the floor."

You
Are
SOOOOOOOO
BAAAAAAAAAAAA-d!


ROFLMAO!
I crack myself up ...

Fire Byrd said...

The punch line was a cracker!
Poor kid, lets hope he gets over it by the time he's 15!
xx

Rainbow dreams said...

lol you are positively wicked!!! :)

btw, I loved how you said that
"You can hate what she did but not hate who she is," that makes you a pretty awesome guy Walker, and you're right not many people get that.

Have a lovely day too, Katie,x

Michael Manning said...

Walker: OPA! (That should be an eye opener with caffeine). I think you need to go on "Larry King Live". I can just see Larry hunched over his microphone quoting this Blog! LARRY: "So this stuff really happens?" WALKER: "Just as I relate it to you in my Blog. Don't believe me? Ask Michael Manning". LARRY: We have him on the phone right now. Can you vouch for this guy Mr. Manning? ME: First of all, knock off the Mister routine and just call me Michael. But to your question. Yeah, this REALLY is happening"! LARRY: Okay, thanks for clearing that up (hangs up on me and resumes interviewing you!). :D)

Boxer said...

classic Walker and I love the song.

BikerCandy said...

OK, that's hilarious! A little on the mean side and the poor kid will probably never lay in bed with another girl for the rest of his life but it sure was funny!

Walker said...

Scarlet: You jut get excited at the sound os juicy ass chewing

Walker said...

Fire Byrd : He will have to get tougher if he wants to live in a womans world

Walker said...

Rainbow dreams: I do my best to get my shots in now. I figure one day they will be walking all over me LOL

Its what I believe. We haste most people for what they have done and not who they are.
Sometimes there are touch choices to be made and many of us will hate t hose decisions but you cant hate a person for their choice

Walker said...

Michael Manning: How about you and larry kind talking and you phone me and get bleeped through the whole conversation LOL

Walker said...

Boxer: It is a nice song. lassic, does that mean I;m old LOL

Walker said...

BikerCandy :The way I see it is that you can;t beat your kids so play with their minds instead LOL