blue moon (2)

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Stupid Cops ©

There are some people in this world I can’t understand.
Most of my life I have made sound decisions even if they were illegal.
It didn’t matter if it was a split second decision or one that could take a longer time of thought.

I became a drug dealer when I saw that there was no work and I was good a selling pot.
I looked at the law and saw that it was illegal but when I looked closer I saw the cops were busy busting cocaine and heroin dealers so it was a safe bet that I could get away with it for a long period of time before I finally did get caught.
Oh I knew I was going to get caught.
Cops aren’t stupid, well some of them are but mostly they’re just to busy chasing a bigger evil.

Hopefully you’re a little more discrete as to delay getting busted.
Fifteen years later, I did and enjoyed the seven days in jail.
I knew it was a matter of time I would get caught and did my best to stay below the radar but eventually someone gets caught and your name comes up.
For a while I was like the plague when they realized what I had been up to but I quickly shut down and quit before I really fucked up.
Now that is how you’re supposed to do it.
Get out while you can.
The cops don’t mind.
It’s just a game to us and sometimes there’s a draw.
The question is do you want to play again.
I didn’t.

That was a good and close look at how to live along the rim of the toilet bowl without completely falling in and getting flushed out into life’s sewer.
There was more but that’s another story.

Now that is my opinion or an analysis of my life as I lived it if you like but I do have an example of flagrant stupidity and thinking the law is stupid.
Slow maybe, but not stupid.

When breaking the law, the odds are in your favor, well, depending on the crime of course.
The smaller the crime the better your odds of getting away with it unless you push your luck and keep doing it, then your odds change exponentially.

As I was sitting here today swamped with shopping lists, budgeting the month’s bills and looking at the clock to make sure I am on time with picking up kids from work, school with enough time to do the other duties like plan dinner and get tomorrow set up before I go to bed while fielding phone calls at a rate of 3 an hour when the door bell rings.

I’m wondering who it could be as I had everyone accounted for and where he or she all was.
I open the door and it’s my cousin the CURR of the family.
He is the only one we all want to shoot.
This is the person you never want to meet because no matter what you say, he is right and you are wrong.

He make 40gs a year, doesn’t pay rent or help the household out and he is usually broke the day after payday after leaving his whole check at the track.
You would think he could win a race but he is to smart for the people at the track because they’re stupid and know nothing so he bets all his money on some ridiculous combination and looses.
But of course the race was fixed for him to loose.

He is standing at my door with a stack of papers in his hand and he wants my help.
For the last two years he has been driving without insurance or a valid sticker on his vehicle.
Two whole fucken years and he didn’t get caught, until now.
For two years he used to laugh and mock the cops on how stupid they were as he drove past the police station.
We all told him he was pushing his luck but he waved us off with the back of his hand.
Not only did he get caught but also the cops were so stupid they parked outside his house and busted him again the next day.
Dumb fucken cops.

The law and the court system is so stupid he decided that he wasn’t going to bother to go to court and didn’t and the stupid court convicted him in his absence.
$18,000 fine and loose his license until it’s paid.


HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Insurance would have cost him 1000 a year and plates another 75 but NOOOOOOOO the cops are too stupid to catch him.
Criminals are human and humans are creatures of habit so they busted his fucken ass the next day too.
So now he was at my door with a whole bunch of forms to fill out so that he could get an appeal in and to get extensions on the tickets, about 15 of them.

When he was supposed to go to court he didn’t when he should have had insurance and plates he didn’t but now that he is desperate he is here begging for help.
Why do people do this?
This is just plan fucken stupid.
OK, your licensed expired and payday is in a week.
The odds are in your favor that you won’t get stopped and if you did you can say “ Oh really, I’ll get to it right away”.

He sat here bitching about the police and the courts when they’re right and he was wrong and no matter what I told him, he was right.

How the fuck are you supposed to talk to someone like this who is flagrantly breaking the law and doesn’t accept the responsibility when he gets caught.

I’m not a reformed criminal, I still smoke my pot and always will unless they change the laws and make it legal I will always be one.
I accept that and the consequences if I get caught with no regrets and would go out and pick up an ounce to party with after, but I am, breaking the law and there are consequences.

He breaks the law and thinks he’s above the law.
Did I mention he was caught red handed by the cops with no insurance and no plates, twice?
Oh wait, that’s not entirely true.
You see this cop pulled him over three times and TOLD him the she knew he didn’t have insurance and to go get some and a sticker.
Three times she told him and the last time warned him that she would put it into the computer that he had no insurance so he would be charged the next time.
Three times he was given a break.
Yeah I guess the cops are stupid.
They should have busted his ass the first time the stupid fucks.
WTF is he appealing?
He already got three appeals and won.
What does he want next a blowjob every morning.
I know a breast pump looking for a new job from carpet sucker.

OH and he don’t consider himself a criminal.
As a criminal I don’t want to acknowledge him as a criminal either.
Can we deport him, please?

I don’t have a car because I don’t feel like paying 1000 a year for insurance.
So I don’t have one.
I am considering it right now because I need it but until now I just didn’t want to fuck around with the added expense and walked instead.
I could have picked up a car and drove without insurance and gotten away with it for a while but then again I may have run someone over and fucked both our lives up.
I mean why, it’s senseless.
You got the car and there are no payments on it.
1500 bucks a year, tops.
Probably less.
If you need a car for a job that pays you well like say ummmm, $4000 a month well then I would get one and within 6 months the car, insurance and any registration costs would be paid off for in full.

You want to break the law then steal a million bucks don’t fuck around for anything less than that because it isn’t worth it.
If I get caught with anything under an ounce here, it’s a small fine, under 300 bucks for disagreeing with the system.
That’s like paying for a license to be free for me and I would pay anything to be free.

Yup, he’s right.
The cops are fucken stupid.
They should have just shot him and saved me the trouble of filling in all this FUCKEN paperwork.
Maybe I can shoot him and plead to vehicular manslaughter.

Have a nice day



Fire Byrd said...

Yeah think the last sentence is what you should have gone for... LOL

Teresa said...

I like the audio to the post. Most of those stupid people live here. :)

Megan said...

Man, your family just keeps on giving, don't they?

I mean, giving us hilarious posts.

Sally said...

You're too good to people, me thinks. :)

Boxer said...

The audio addition to this post, is great.

Just telling it like it is said...

I used to be married to a cop please don't hold it against me...He only busted people that peed in public and now I am free as a bird..
I once dated a guy that smoked it out I liked him better when he was smoked out...I'm just saying he thinks your smart...what can you say??

Gypsy said...

You still haven't learned that little two letter word yet have you darl? You're just too nice for your own good and doesn't your cousin just know it. Still....your bloods worth bottling Walker and don't you ever change ;)

Monogram Queen said...

No way in hell would I have helped him. Stupid people deserve what they get!

What if you just "bend" the law... what are the averages of getting caught then? Hey I like to cover all the bases and SOMEBODY had to ask!

BikerCandy said...

Gotta love those "stupid cops"...have you read my blog this week yet? A guy I work with had a run in with apparently the same "stupid cops". Ugh! Some people!

Walker said...

Fire Byrd: I hate it when people screw up and don't accept the responsability and look for ways to look innocent when it was avoidable

Walker said...

Teresa: I loved George Carlin.
The man spoke his mind as all of us should

Walker said...

Megan: They are a giving family.
They give me a headach any chance they get

Walker said...

Sally: I hate seeing people freak out then give up. He should be tossed in jail for everyones good

Walker said...

Boxer: It is, It's one of my favorites

Walker said...

Just telling it like it is: I think he knows i took two years of Law and wants me to save his worthless ass

Walker said...

Gypsy: Oh I know the word and use it well but then the whole family begs to help him and they outnumber me

Walker said...

Monogram Queen: Yopu could pretty much get away with anything small or bending if you don;t do it on a regular basis.
But if you steal something like the statue of liberty it might be noticed and your back will be killing you the next day from all tha carrying

Walker said...

BikerCandy: Some people should get a break and some shouldn't. He shoul;dnt have. Driving illegally could leave alot of peoople in a bad way including the driver

Michael Manning said...

Oh Man! You get me laughing so hard, I may have to rent an oxygen tank for my apartment whenever I read these stories. If you ever publish a book, here is what I would see on the back cover:

"That was a good and close look at how to live along the rim of the toilet bowl without completely falling in and getting flushed out into life’s sewer.
There was more but that’s another story...."

If you are holding this book in a bookstore, buy it!
--Michael Manning (a blogger)


Dotm said...

Guess this is just one of those times when you wish they would land on someone else`s doorstep.
The penalty for being someone that others can count on is not always a good one.
Have a nice day.

nachtwache said...

If you really have to help him, you can still lay into him for being such a moron, that he might never come back to ask for help.
I used to tell my kids,( hoping the older would get the hint )
:" Most people learn from their own mistakes;
wise people learn from other peoples mistakes and a FOOL never learns."
Thankfully my kid is slowly learning, the hard way. :P
The younger one is the wise one.

Peter said...

I got an email recently entitled "And they still Vote" about people like your cousin, its a pity you can't just cut the losers adrift and keep the good ones.