Shout ©

Life is moving like fucken crazy warped Indian rubber ball.
I don’t know which direction it’s going to bounce next.
Some would say that’s the way I like it.
I would say they’re fucken nuts.

You know, life would be fucken easier if people would just stay in their own little cubicles and stop messing with my shit, especially when I’m still trying to push it out.
What do they think, I don’t know how to take care of my kids?
Who the fuck do they think has been taking care of them for the last fucken 20 years?
It’s my fault for letting them think they were in control and making the right decisions.
Every time one of them did I ended up having to repair something.

Every day at 6:45 am the radio bursts on blaring out at almost full volume my favorite radio station.
One of the perks of sleeping in a king size bed is the clock is to far and I am just not ready to get up at that time of the morning to smash the mother-fucker into old vinyl records pieces.

What’s the first thing I hear coming out of it the other day, Summertime by Sublime.
Right after it’s the woman saying that while I was sleeping we got ten centimeters.
Three out of five days I have been out there at 7am freezing my nuts off shoveling a path so the outside world.
7 fucken A.M.

You want to play Summer time by Sublime at 6:45am in the morning then the weather girl should be at my place blowing the hot air out of my ass to melt that fucken snow I have to get rid of.
I mean it fucken cold out; wake me up to something appropriate.
What, don’t we have any fucken gangsta rappahs here?
Instead of singing about shooting cops and each other they can sing about freezing their balls off.

“Spit, spit”

My mamma banged my head

“Spit, spit”

With the shovel

“Spit, spit”

While i was stroking my bitty head

“Spit, spit”

In bed

“Spit, spit, spit”

She told to go outside

“Spit, spit”

To shovel the snow

“Spit, spit”

And stop playing with my little head

“Spit, spit, spit”

Now I can wake up to that shit instead of the words, Summer Time while it’s colder than a naked iceberg outside and I hate fucken rap.
The gangster part I can relate too.
I can go ballistic like that every now and then.
Usually when I hear rap on the radio I want to drive by the radio station and shoot it up but you know what’s worse than rap?

It some of the music my kid listens to.
I sat there listening to some of it and you know, even stoned they words make no sense and how old are these female singers, 12?
They got these squeaky little voices that make dogs roll over and beg for mercy.
Then the other day while watching TV the kid jumps up and points at this 30-year-old anorexic woman on some music show and says that was the one singing the song she was listening too.

Wow, She was definitely not 12.
Maybe someone was fucking her up the ass and his dick broke off in there and now she squeals like a pig every time she sings.

Don’t get me wrong, I love music and try my best to be open minded to lots of it, even country (Runs to puke) ok the new country, not the “ my dog died and I and single again” music.
Did you know they did a study and found that there are more people who listen to country music committing suicide than any other kind of music?
I guess you can only hear so many songs about dieing dogs before going crazy then running off to kill yourself.
Probably by listening to Rap, “Spit, spit”.

After I dig myself out the kids run out to the nice warm clear of snow car for me to drive them to their destinations, work and school.
Later when I picked up the youngest she said she wanted to talk to her school friends on MSN but couldn’t because her computer wouldn’t work without a certain update so I told her I would look at it at home.

When I got here I went up to look and saw that she had bootleg copy of windows on her computer and I didn’t need to ask what idiot put that there.
You know I keep telling my brother to stop using his fucken CD because all he is doing is giving me more fucken grief fixing it on every ones computer he puts it on.
I have a legal copy, which I don’t give him the number too because he would use it to death in a day.

So I told her I would fix windows for her and she would be fine once more.
To be on the safe side I went to the D partition to see if the drivers were stored there and there it was, Compaq 51c drivers under a folder so I go back and reboot with my CD in it and I start loading a fresh windows on but before formatted the drive I asked her where her files were and she said her uncle set everything up on the D drive so I hit the button and off to the races we went.

Forty minutes later I am staring at the ugliest four color background you ever saw.
No problem, all I had to do it load the Compaq drivers and everything will be as it was before.
I go to the D drive and click on the folder and it opens up.
And it’s empty.
Not even cyber dust.
WTF?

I look all over the drive and open all the folders and they were all empty.
Taking the phone I call my brother and said he forgot to do it.
He forgot?
It takes a whole sixty fucken seconds to do it what is there to forget?
What, there was a sale of TVs somewhere?

OK, I figure all I had to do is go to my computer and look for the drivers on the Compaq site, easy as pie right but before I go I had to go get my other daughter from work?
I get there and meet her at the door and we both start walking back to the car and when I turned to get in she was gone.

POOOOOOF

I look around and I don’t see her.
Just then the door to the car next to me opened up and she got out laughing.
The car was the same color as mine and she hopped in with that guy.
I don’t know who was more shocked her or him.
I was rolling around in a puddle laughing.

She made me promise not to tell anyone one at home and I haven’t yet but every time we walk to the car I point it at her first HA HA HA

Back at the house I asked my youngest if she had the CD for her computer before I went hunting for new ones and she said she did but forgot it at her mothers.
So I was back on my computer and into the Compaq site looking for the model number but it didn’t exist.
I looked down at the case and that was no help because my brother put the innards in a new case.

I spent the next two hours looking for drivers for a Compaq 51c with not even a nibble of it ever existing.
As I scanned the gazillion models on the Compaq sight hoping to score a clue, something called a Compaq 510 caught my eyes.
I’m thinking can it be.
Could he had wrote it down wrong:?
I download the drivers for the video card first and low and behold we have lift off.
Stupid bastard can’t write either.
One after the other I downloaded the rest of the drivers and put them on the computer and had it running in half an hour as it was before except for one thing, the wireless network card.
How hard can it be to get the drivers, they have to be on line?

I look high and low.
I goggle everything and joined every fucken driver site there was an NOTHING.
I have the make and the model number but because it was discontinued they didn’t have the drivers any more.
How fucken stupid is that?
What just because you don’t want to sell it you can’t just leave the drivers out there for us poor bastards that can’t afford to buy a new computer every thirty minutes.

TWO hour later I lucked out and found them in some junk pile on the Microsoft site and got them on and working.
After all of that I downloaded 36 updates for XP including what she needed to get yahoo and MSN working on her computer.
Six hours it took me just because of one bootleg CD.

As I sat there pleased with myself, the kid on her computer talking to her friends the phone rang.
It was my EX.
She said she had computer problems and ran a disk in her computer and the computer went dead.
She said it was the kid's CD and though it would fix hers.
She has a Dell.

Tomorrows another day I guess

Have a nice one today

Oh, Puss N Boots, THIS was a long sentence not the last one LOL

Walker