blue moon (2)

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Friends Take On The Date ©

I tell you it’s the way he talks to them.

No no he must have a big cock

So what you’re saying is he pulls it out and wiggles it like a worm catching a fish?

That’s what I do.

And that’s why you haven’t been laid since Woodstock

It’s not that, he takes them out and spends lots of money on them.

Shut up, he has no money, he sucks them in somehow.

What are you guys talking about?

Walker is out on a date.

Who, Walker, get out?

Yeah really my sister saw him at the Greek festival with her.

Get the fuck out of here.
Who’s wife was it?


That tall broad that was at his BBQ.

The one that looks like Kathryn Zeta Jones?

Yeah, that one.

I thought she was that other guy’s girlfriend.

That’s what we all thought but you know him, nothing stops him if he wants something.
Did you see how she was staring at him all night and the BBQ?

She was probably looking at all the grease on his shirt.

Hey, I have an idea let’s go over to his place and bug the shit out of him.

I’m in.

So am I.

Let’s go; someone grab the beer.


********************************************************************

Hi Mrs K, we stopped by to see Walker.

I don’t think he’s home yet.
He took his father’s car and went out on a date to the Greekfest.

Do you mind of we wait for him on the porch.

No it’s ok I am sure he will be home soon but you can get some chairs from the back if you want

Hey look who it is, Rick.
How’s living in Montreal and WTF are you doing here.


Montreal is ok but I have to come down once in a while to see the boys.
What the hell are all you guys doing here?

We’re waiting for Walker.

Why where did he go?

He went on a date.

Yeah right, now where is he really, Jail?

No he went out on a date.

Ha Ha Ha, you guys will never change.
Hi Mrs K. where’s Walker?


He went out on a date.

Holy fuck, you’re kidding?

Hey look, there’s Pat.
He was at the Greekfest so he can tell us if he saw walker.


Hey guys, how’s it going.

Great, we were wating for Walker.
Did you see him at the festival.


Yeah, he was there with a really good looking tall woman who was wrapped around him the whole time.

You’re kidding?

No, he couldn’t budge she was all over him.
I guess that’s why they left early.


What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

WHAT?!!!!!!

Oh hi MrK.

What do you mean he left early?
Where’s my car?

I’m sure your car will be fine MrK.

Where could he possibly go with her, she is not one of those broads he brings home from the bar.
He’s probably chatting her up in some coffee shop.

Walker doesn’t drink coffee.
He hates coffee.

Ain’t that the truth.

I got an idea, let’s call his cell phone.

Fuck that, I’m not going to get killed.
Remember Julio.


No, I can’t say that I do.

Exactly and all he did was wake him up in the morning before 10 am.

Yeah but this is different but just to be safe let’s get his mother to call, he won’t kill her.
Hey Mrs K you feel like giving Walker a call to see when he will be coming home?


Sure I don’t mind.

Hi Walker, it’s your mother.
Your mother, the woman who gave birth to you.
You gave me the number.
Yes you did.
The day when you forgotshowed me your cell bill in the kitchen.
I thought you left it on the table so I can copy the number down.
I just called because your friends are all here and wanted to know when you will be coming home.
OK
Ok, I will tell them.
He said he will be home in 10 minutes and he wants you all to stand in the street so he could show you something.

Where you going Pat?

I’m getting the fuck out of here before he gets back and I end up meeting Julio.

Hey look, isn’t that him now?

What the fuck are all you doing on my porch at 1:30 am and Ma why are you still up?

I hope you didn’t go to the Greekfest looking like that.

Why what’s wrong with the way I look?

Your T-shirt is on inside out.............

Have a nice day

I better not find another pair of woman's underwear in the back seat of the car again.

I thought we agreed that those were mom's.

Walker

26 comments:

3 Magpies said...

I'm guessing your date got chilly in the cool night air and you, the gentleman that you are, loaned her your shirt to keep her warm only to put in back on inside out when you were hurrying home to your mother, God bless her, so she would not worry. Am I right??

Walker said...

3 Magpies: Ummmm that sounds about right.
Yeah, yeah that's the way it happened and and and and the marks on my shoulder and neck that look like bite marks was from the buttons.

I'm so happy you helped me clear that up.
Thank you

nachtwache said...

I'm never sure what's blarney and what isn't. In any case, you have the gift of story telling and love to lead us around by the nose :)

Walker said...

nachtwache: Oh that's simple.
he story is true, when i got home i had 5 friends waiting for me.
I was about 1:30 am.
They had just come back from the Greek festival and seen me slip out with my date and came by my place knowing i had to bring the car back and I'd show up eventually.

The dialogue is based on things i have heard them say to me in the past.

I put it all together and hope i got you to at least have a giggle.

Puss-in-Boots said...

A Catherine Zeta Jones lookalike, eh? Hmmm, no wonder you came home with your shirt inside out. Actually, I'd like to hear the whole story, Walker...from your angle, not that of your friends'. Better still, let Mama have her say...now that should be interesting.

Anonymous Boxer said...

Woot! Out until 1:30 a.m. and you didn't come home chased by police cars! Instead, you went out on a date.

Fabulous!

It's good to shock your friends and family.

More deets please.

Just telling it like it is said...

Out on a date ...You know that your going to have to give up the details...
and I have to say that I am ashamed but I have used this is your mother the one amazing woman that gave you life....and ohhh how painful it was...poor kid I am probably ruining him...but it is my job what can I say...

Robyn said...

A date...well...well there it is! A DATE for the Walker Man! Good on you...but really I don't give a crap what the 'friends' have to say...it was much more interesting with Mrs and Mr K's dialogue! LMAO!
So I take it was good and it all worked properly?!

Well, come by and check out my last post for the mystery trip! A bit late but better late than never I say! LOL!
Many hugs!

Tammi said...

Oh wow!
Catherine Zeta Jones is stunning! You came home to 5 friends waiting?I'm surprised you didn't make it an all-nighter with CZJ!! The last REAL date I went on lasted for 3 damn days before I finally got him to go home.lol
Ohhh the memories of THAT one.
What bis the world is a Greek festival?Tyler sucks a big un',cuz we don't have stuff like that here.
Wait! there WAs a Renassaince(sp) Festival not too long ago.Is it like that?
Ohh Walker,your a trip! Your just too funny player!

INNER VOICES said...

excellent for a monday morning read!!! sounds like a fun weekend. where are the details!!

Gypsy said...

Why on earth would you come home at all Walker? CZJ is hanging all over you and wanting to give Walker some loving and you're home at 1.30????? I had you pegged as an all nighter, this is devastating......:)


I hope you're not going to torment us now and not give us the details. That would be cruel.


OK all jokes aside (and you know I can't resist) I hope your first date was AMAZING.

Tammi said...

OK-OK!
I refuse to re-read this when you KNOW we all want the "behind the scenes" coverage of your freakin' date.Not all the visitors hanging out...cuz you know as well as I do that they were only hanging out long enough to at least get the blow-by-blow details of your date....like we ALL want to know.Catherine Zeta Jones is a smash hit in my books.So do tell.Did you score a touchdown,or did your shirt get dirty and you flipped it inside out so the food you spilled on it wasn't so obvious?

Tammi said...

WAIT!
That's not what I came here to ask you....lol
I was on Michael Mannings site and seen you there and like..well,I was wondering if you got there via Texastammi?lol
Cuz if so....that's too cool.Really cool

Tammi said...

oh and if not...that's ok too.
OK!OK! Stop yelling at me.I'm finished now.(kiddin' folks)
I wonder if Walker DOES yell at women.
just thinkin outloud.my bad

Monogram Queen said...

So... that's your story and your sticking to it right?!!!!

Peter said...

Love those conversation posts you do Walker.

Walker said...

Puss-in-Boots: Be careful what you ask for LOL

Walker said...

Anonymous Boxer : I don't know, I kind of like a good cop chase lol

Walker said...

Just telling it like it is: Its a parents job to mess up their kids as paybac k for all those years of butt wiping ;)

Walker said...

Robyn: My parents are old fashin and once tried to marry me off without inviting me to the wedding hmmmph

Walker said...

Tammi: I would have but youy'll just have to read on to get the whole story

Walker said...

INNER VOICES: It was more of a good weekend than you know lol
Details are coming

Walker said...

Gypsy: I had to bring the car home plus i ran into a little problem i will explain about later

Walker said...

Tammi: I have known Micheal for a long time and I am pretty sure we met on Denny Shanes blog and I met you through Ocean Bugs

Walker said...

Monogram Queen: Yup like grits on a wooden spoon :D

Walker said...

Peter: I have fun writing those because i get to fall back on all those years of stuff i have had to endue listening to