Journey To The Center Of No Where ©

Before I go into my post I would like send my condolences to Nachtwache whose father passed away on Monday.

Well yesterday was an interesting day that didn’t go like it was supposed to but I am sure none of you would be surprised.
First off I did the unthinkable and woke up at 7 am.
WTF!?
Walker up at 7am?!!
Naw, it can’t be true?
Yes it was and I did and how strange is that well not even my dick was awake.
Usually it’s up before the brain is.

After the early morning necessities I got breakfast, a Classic Coke and a Joe Louis, breakfast of couch potato champions.
I hate coffee unless it’s winter then I may be seen with a Moccachino.
Just put chocolate on almost anything and I’ll eat or drink it.

8 am the phone rang and Archie was on the phone telling me that two of the boys had bailed and we also lost our driver.
That was the best news as far as I am concerned.
The guy he asked to drive us is a convicted cop killer.
I have had my differences with the cops and it’s a subject I am indifferent to.
I have know some good cops the went by the book but there are some mother fuckers that fell through the cracks that should have been on the other side of the fence as far as I am concerned.

The guy did 17 years for it in a mental institution, sighting that his addiction made him do it.
He’s lucky I wasn’t on the jury.
As an addict, I still call myself an addict even if I haven’t touched the shit in 20 years, I know that you take the drugs as a choice and what you do while under the influence is a choice you choose to do, period.
That is my opinion and I stand by it.
I did and sold drugs as a way to live but it was a conscious choice I made, not one the drugs made for me.

Even that he has been out for ten years now and seems to be a nice guy, as I have been to a couple of places he goes to, he still gives me the fucken creeps.
Another thing, I know the cops watch him closely as he is on parole for the rest of his life and I really don’t want to be seen in his company, especially his fucken car.

The worse news was still to come.
He said that we would be taking the bus.
Hmmmmm
I hate buses and haven’t been in a city bus in a very long time.
Years in fact.
Wait, no I lie.
I was in a bus in New Zealand three years ago but they were nice compared to the whack jobs that we have driving here or the weirdo’s that ride in them.

So now I had to walk to his place before 9 am so that we could take the bus because the bus we needed was outside his front door.
There goes the you don’t have to worry we will pick you up part of the deal.

Ok, I little walking will only make my foot heal a little fast I figure but before I put on my shoes I taped up the two little toes with some cotton balls between them as a cushion.
After getting my shoes on I stepped outside and had to grit my teeth as I kicked the brick wall with my sore foot trying get the toes nice and tight at the top of the shoe so I could walk a little more freely.

I get to buddy’s place and he had a joint and a beer waiting for me.
It wasn’t even 9 A fucken M yet.
There was no way I was going to drink a beer.
The joint we smoked while we waited for the last person to arrive.
Five to nine the phone rings and we found out he wasn’t coming.
It was me and Arch.
OMG!!!!!!!!!
I wanted to run home.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s a nice guy but he is ten times worse than Archie Bunker.
Must be an Archie thing.
The guy has a heart of gold be complains complains complains ……………. And HE’S RUDE!!!!!

Black people are niggers
Chinese are Chinks
Middle Eastern are grease balls
Greeks are Malakes (jerks in Greek)
Italians are wops
Women are all whores

BUT

He goes out of his way to help all these people when they come to him.
He’s not racist and likes women
Most of his friends are Greek and Middle Eastern
He lives in China Town and they love him there
Everyone loves him and he doesn’t mask who he is or how he talks.
He’s just a loud mouth pain in the ass and I have to get on a fucken bus with him to go 8 miles to the movie theatre.

We left his place and went to the bus stop to wait for the bus.
It was about this time my dick woke up, which was it’s normal time and was pleasantly surprised to be informed by my eyes of the cute brunette walking by.

Yup, they both enjoyed that little morsel until the eyes scanned my side of the street and spotted my Ex SIL walking towards us pulling one of those collapsible shopping carts.
My dick never passed out that fast before.
This is the same one who wants me to move her daughter.
I don’t see these people for decades and now they are fucken everywhere.
It’s 30c and she’s dressed in black.
She has been wearing black since her daughter was murdered.

Let me explain here some of my reason for helping her move when I shouldn’t be even speaking to her.
First off the woman is a little out in left field.
She’s eccentric and there isn’t enough time for me to write it all down here but trust me she is.
I know from her sister my EX that her father when she was younger, beat her like a dog to the point where she had to be hospitalized several times.
She was always to blame even when she wasn’t.

Her husband beat her then left her with two kids
Her mother calls her a whore to her face even though the woman hasn’t been with anyone other than her husband.
Ever, it’s not her thing.
She’s nuts not horny and hates sex by her accounts.
Her daughter was murdered and her one and only remaining daughter uses her like a worn out shoe.
She makes her mother find money for her all the time to buy dresses and nice clothes.
She just bought her a laptop and a 500 dollar cell phone.
She only gets about a thousand dollars a month from disability but has to go borrow to keep the daughter happy.
I told her that she shouldn’t but the daughter told her that if she wouldn’t get her what she wanted that she would leave and never come back.

She’s lucky she’s not my fucken kid because I’d show her where the road starts but she can’t, because she still mourns the lose of her youngest and fears loosing the oldest and the little bitch knows it.
So I take all of this into account before I weigh it up against what she has done to me and that’s why I will help her.

As we stood there she told me that the daughter wasn’t packed yet and it might take even longer for her to get ready to move the stuff, which was music to my ears.
More time to heal as far as I was concerned but it also raise conflict problems.
My bbq is on the 16 of August and I have to do a lot of prepping and planning to feed 60 people

Then she goes and bugs me out like she always does.
She starts telling me how handsome I am and how dumb her sister was.
She has been spouting this crap out at me for the last few months now and it gives me the creeps, heebie jeebies every time she says it.
I keep thanking her and saying that’s how life is and start looking up the street wondering where the FUCKEN bus is.
Archie thought it was amusing; all the way to the theatre he kept telling me how handsome I was.
I should have smacked him but then I would have probably had to carry him home and he must weigh 350 pounds.
I could roll him home I guess.

Luck finally came my way when I saw the bus coming up the street and told her we had to go.
This was one of those LONG buses that looks like they took two buses and connected them with and accordion in the middle so it could get around corners.
It was so long that by the time we got to the back of the bus we had gone farther than where we were when we got on.

We were supposed to go east for 8 blocks then transfer to a bus going south but two blocks up the bus turned north.
HUH!
I went up to the driver and asked him what the deal was and he said that there is construction up ahead and that the buses had to be redirected north.
So instead of going east then south we had to go north 3 miles to the place where we could get a bus going south.
I hate buses.

It took twenty minutes to get all the way to where the Parliament building are and our transfer point.
We stood there for two minutes before Arch started complaining about the bus, how we were going to be late, how his knee was killing him, about all the guys who didn’t show up, the weather, where was the bus, he was hungry, thirst, why are they wasting money fixing the Parliament buildings for, they are probably pocketing most of the money.
SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!
There was a lady at the bus stop that had a look on her face like she just pissed herself.
Every year it’s the same thing.
His friends go to Greece, Brazil and the Middle east and I am stuck with him until they get back.
They should ban travel for Archie’s friends.

Every bus that came around the corner was, here it is, not it’s not.
Do you have any bloody idea how many buses came around that corner before ours did.
He drove me nuts until our bus arrived.
The new subject on the way to the theatre was that we were not going to make it.
He kept saying that all the way there and when the bus stopped to pick people up he freaked out that the bus stopped for them.
I tried to explain to him that that’s what the bus does, but really, some people are so fucken lazy.
One woman got in and went two fucken blocks, two block.
WALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s why your ass is three feet wide, that’s why Archie is so big and fat too.
He eats like a horse and drinks a box of beer a day with a bottle of brandy to wash it down.
He doesn’t walk anywhere but the washroom and if he could, he would get someone else to piss for him.
He sends people to the store for everything he needs and takes taxis where ever he wants to go.
I told him if he croaks I and going to need a chainsaw to get him out.
He said that a chainsaw wouldn’t cut the bricks.
I explained to him I wasn’t planning on carving up the house.
He just gave me a look.

He is a big man with a heavy voice that can be heard across the room when he whispers and thinks no one can hear him but ion fact everyone does but you can’t tell him that.
I hate this type of mentality.
It’s along the same lines as my father’s and some of the other fucken knuckleheads that immigrated to this country from somewhere else.

I have been in some drag out arguments over this kind of talk and now they do their best not to say anything infront of me, especially when it comes to subjects such as race because I’m color blind and when I walk through someone’s door with a woman she could be of anyone of the colors or combination of the colors of the rainbow.

I may be nice to people most of the time but rub me the wrong way and I can be really nasty and I spare no one as my immediate family has found out.
OH and I don’t care to wait for when we are alone in private, I let you have it in public.
It may sound cruel but trust me, if they know you are going to explode in public they’ll do their best not to piss you off and embarrass them.
Bank that in your wallet.
It works with almost everyone, especially the back stabbers.
They use secrecy to do most of their damage.

We got to the theatre with 5 minutes to spare but when Arch saw that he had tpo walk a couple of hundred yards to it he complained again.
The whole time walking to the place I had to tell him I could smell buttered pop corn to get him to walk faster.

Inside the theatre complex we paid and I asked him if we wanted any pop corn or a drink and he said NOOOOOOOO.
Then we walked to the farthest part of the building to get to the theatre where Jounrney to the center of the Earth was playing.
No sooner had we sat down he said he wants pop corn now.
I wanted to deck right there in his seat
Of course he can’t go because of his knee and he felt bad that I had to traverse all the way back to the front of the fucken place to now buy and carry a SUPER SIZED ORDER OF COKE AND POP CORN.

The worse part was that the movie sucked.

I don’t know why they think that special effects makes a movie good without an acting script but it doesn’t and to make matters worse I had to ride back on the bus with Archie, listening to him say, “Never again” over and over.
You know, he was right.

NEVER AGAIN!!!!!

On the way back we got off a little earlier and walked the three blocks to his place.
While cutting through the park he stopped at every fifth bench for a smoke and rest
He smoked 5 cigarettes by the time we got to his place but we finally got back at 1 pm where Archie proceeded to get drunk and tell everyone that stopped by that he walked 5 miles that day, the longest 5 miles of my life.

I hear X-Files starts August 1, I think I will go alone.

Have a nice day

Walker