blue moon (2)

Friday, February 01, 2008

Three Way In The Twilight ©

Last night I was in the basement fighting with seven, very sharp cactuses.
In my attempt to limit the space some of my plants take I picked up a couple of short wide pots and was going to stuff these seven plants into these two pots and make a cactus collage.
It was like playing patty cake with a family of fucken porcupines.
Taking them out of the pots was easy because I wore my leather work gloves but when it came to sticking my hand into those tight spots the gloves proves to be to thick for the task so off the came and slowly…….ever so slowly…….move the hand in there…….. that’s it……………….FUCK!!!!!!!!
Why did I choose to grow cactuses, why not pot, at least I’d be smiling all the time.

I was sitting here when Leti came on MSN.

Leti: Hi
Are you there?

Pull, “spit”

Walker: Hi
Pull “spit”

Leti: Are you busy, can you do me a big favour?

Pull, “spit”
Walker: You should have asked me that when you were here, now you’re a little to far and right now I’m busy sitting here practicing my acupuncture extraction technique.

Pull ”spit”
I got all these tiny needles in my hand from re-potting my cactuses and am having a time of it getting the out.

Leti: That’s nice, now I want you to call Delores for me; she is in the hospital.

See, I don’t need a wife; I have Leti to treat me like a husband.

Walker: Why is Delores in the hospital?

Delores was one of Leti’s friends that met up with her here at my place.
They all play backgammon together and this was the first time all the girls got to meet each other and me who they knew from my occasional visits to the site.

Leti: I will give you her number for you to call and tell her that I am thinking about her.

Walker: Yeah sure that wouldn’t be a problem but it’s 9pm, she might be sleeping.

Leti: She never sleeps; she is a backgammon player.

She did have a point there, I used to play for 12 hour stretches sometimes and once, there was a group of people that got together to play as one person 24 hours a day, seven days a week for a whole month to beat me for the month.
I had been onto of the rankings for 18 months.

It’s funny how something so simple as a backgammon game can bring people together even enemies.
People I played against, people who didn’t like very much, my friends all rallied to cheer me on.
Why you ask?
Was it because I was so loved by so many?
It was because we all love fair play.
For one month I played every, single, fucken, tournament, 12 a day, two hours each…….

The phone rang and a lady picked it up and mumbled a hello.
I asked for Delores and she said she was Delores.
She sounded like she was eating or something.

Walker: Hey It’s Walker, listen if your giving the Hubby a blowjob I can call back later.
Delores’ husband has had a tough time of it lately and isn’t out of the woods yet and Delores has been running around ragged since she got back from her holiday with the girls.

Delores: NO, my husband isn’t here

Walker: Oh, well if you’re giving the orderly a blowjob I can call back later too.

Delores: NOO, my daughter is the only one here?

Well if she’s giving her daughter a blowjob, then she has been dressing up that boy wrong all these years.

I told her Leti got me to call her.
She has to dial 78 numbers in Mexico to get the overseas operator; it’s easier asking me to do it.
Hell she just got my Christmas card.
The donkey got lost and Juan ended up in Chihuahua.

I told Delores I had Leti on the computer in Mexico and her on the phone so I would be the go between.
It seem I always end up as the ham in the middle.
I told Delores what Leti was typing and I typed what Delores was saying to me to Leti.

Leti: Ask her what Happened?

I ask Delores what happened.
Delores told me her BP went up to 170.

Walker: She said her BP went up to 170
Leti: OMG!!!!!!!! Why?

I asked Delores what the doctors said was the reason her BP was so high.
She said it was all the stress with her husband and she already had a history of high BP.

Walker: She said that she was home watching Zorro and after when the movie ended her heart was still racing especially after spending so much time staring at Antonio Banderas then she was feeling dizzy so they rushed her to the hospital and she has been there since monday.

Leti: Wow…………..I don’t blame her.

Walker: It’s down to 60 BPM now

Leti: Until she watches the sequel.

Now you have to remember while I was typing to Leti I was reading what I was writing to Delores and she was lauging on the other end of the phone.
She has a great laugh, one that makes everyone one laugh with her.
We all talked for a little pit longer and then Delores said someone was coming in to take her BP.
If it was an orderly I bet it started going up.

We said goodbye and I hung the phone up.
Delores might be getting out today and I hope she does.
I know she will be reading this so get better soon Delores and for Pete’s sake stop talking with your mouth full especially if it’s Pete you have in your mouth.

I STAYED ON msn WITH Leti for a bit longer.
I have a lot of fun talking with her.
She is a little naïve and gobbles up some of my funning as real.

Leti: So what are you doing?

Walker: I was sitting here thinking about an idea for a sex Talk.
I was thinking for my birthday to have a live Sex TALK.

Leti: What’s that?

Walker: Well I will be writing it as I am actually doing it.

Leti: Oh…………………

Leti: But how are you going to type if your hands are going to be on the woman.

Walker: That’s easy, I am going to put a web cam at the foot of the bed and everyone can watch as we are going at it.

Leti: What……………………………

Walker: You know use the web cam and have live sex on my blog


Walker: You still there Leti?

Leti: Hold on, I’m looking in my book to see when your birthday is.

Have a nice weekend



Shaz said...

OMG thats so funny I am up for a video Woo Hoo lol
If its half as steamy as what you write on your blog I wont be leaving my room for a long time and Ben will have to have the night off work ;)

nachtwache said...

You're such a tease. I'm not sure, when it gets too graphic, I find I wish for less, leave a little to the imagination. Leti will be so disappointed :(
Maybe Dolores' BP was up from your phone call, or down. They say laughter is good for you. :)

nachtwache said...

Ooops, Delores, don't let the misspelling of your name affect your BP.

having my cake said...

Walker, I see you too are an Aries. I wonder if I will be watching you have live sex on webcam for my birthday :)

Walker said...

Shaz: Oh I bet you're up for a video but AM i UP to having half the world watching me bop with someone in bed.

Walker said...

nachtwache: Well women have been teasing me for ever with their hot sexiness.
Delores has a high BP every time she sees some young thang that turns her turbines and make her boobs swell.
I think I just described most women over 40 LOL!!!!!!!!

Walker said...

having my cake: Dear, Walker only gives private performances on a one ON one basis.

Anonymous said...

oh this webcam adventure be posted some time soon?????

Peter said...

Those cacti will get you every time Walker, sharp little suckers aren't they?

Anonymous Boxer said...

I'm a Aries too.


Luka said...

Will the cacti be featuring as part of the live sex show? You can never have enough pricks for a web cam saucefest.

Teresa said...

Maybe I should be growing cacti at my house!!

Patti said...

There is no one like you, Walker, no one! :)

Blazngfyre said...

When is your birthday?!

Walker said...

JYankee: Oh yeah it will. LOL

Walker said...

Peter: Yes they are sharp little buggers and a reminder of what pain is

Walker said...

Anonymous Boxer: Another wild one eh :)

Walker said...

Luka: No my insurance carrier said the wouldn't insure me for any accidents that might happen so the cacti are out.

Walker said...

Teresa: I think you are looking for a different type of cacti ;)

Walker said...

Patti:Yeah, there are enough crazy people in the world lol

Walker said...

Blazngfyre: Soon :)