blue moon (2)

Monday, January 28, 2008

Union ©

I was sitting here an hour ago ready to go ballistic on a post but I got called next door to my parents place for lunch so I let it go for then and went to eat.
As I was sitting there I brought up the subject of this post and my parents eyes almost popped out of their head.
Then I expressed my thoughts to them and my father, who usually says something stupid to piss me off, actually said something that not only made sense but also was brilliant.
Give me a second I’m still fanning myself.

My parents aren’t stupid just never educated like I have been, I think they finished the second grade but know how to read and write in Greek.

I told my parents about an article I just read about the panhandlers.
Those are the beggars on the street who hit people up for money when they walk by for those of you who don’t know the slang.
It seems the city has put up wrought iron fences blocking access to under the over passes and also at some of the other areas that posed a problem or some danger to the homeless that were going there to sleep or do drugs.
The Pan Handlers Union has threatened to take the matter to court.



People, these are beggars on the street; they have their own fucken UNION.
I wonder how much their dues are.
12 cigarette butts and a bottle of XXX Sherry per month or you get tossed off the corner you beg from.
What’s next, time-share park benches with other pan handlers across North America or the world?

A fucken union, I couldn’t believe it and I told my parents this and the old man, though he was in shock said that’s the way it has to be if you want to live in a democracy.
He said when you want to live in a society that is free you have to expect people to want to have the same freedoms for what they choose to do, even if you don’t like it and there will always be those in the fringe.

I said, “like those people that want to legalize pot”.
He said “no, they were still criminals like me”.
There you go I still can’t win.

A union for beggars, what’s next?
A union for hookers.
A union for drug dealers

Can you imagine a union for criminals?
If you don’t start buying better stuff for us to steal from your houses we will go on strike.
Do you have any idea what kind of chaos that would create?

If all criminals decided to all go straight, society would crumble.
It really would.

First of all, you got all these unemployed people now who need money and there are no jobs because people are being laid off from the factories, there isn’t as much demand for electronics anymore because no one is stealing them and don’t need replacing.

Cops are getting laid off because crime is down and they can’t even get jobs as security guards because they are cutting back also.
Prisons are closed and guards laid off.
No need for as many courts or judges
The lawyers are like cockroaches nothing gets rid of them.
The ex criminals get re-educated by the government while all the people who lost their jobs go on welfare and wait in line at food banks.
The Ex Cons learn things they never knew while the Ex cops resort to theft and crime to help feed their families.
Ex cons become upset that there are SCABS doing their old jobs, riots erupt in the streets and the military is called in until parliament can convene and force the criminals back to work.
It’s a vicious circle.

Hypothetically speaking, if there was no crime, the world would be fucked.
Right now the average unemployment rate in the world is about 10%
Crime prevention and policing is about 20%
20% of the population is retired
30% are women who stay home and take care of the house

So if crime ended today and we didn’t need all that policing anymore we will have 20% of the world population trying to feed the other 80%.
Food for thought.

Either the world is fucken crazy or it’s me.
A beggars union, to me that’s ridiculous but as my father said we live in a democracy and we allow for people to believe as they wish as long as it doesn’t affect others but…..

The Mafia Union
That would be something else.
Can you see the labour board subpoenaing the godfather because Joe “The Nose” Soprino filed a grievance against his former employer, BOSS of bosses, the God Father, for putting a contract out on him without giving him severance pay before trying to sever his head from his body.

Or they go on strike and march around the front of the Godfather’s house with placards demanding better health care and remote car starters.

There is no reason for them to be homeless.
A room is about $450 a month and welfare gives you $620.
If you don’t have a place, welfare gives you a street allowance of about $250 per month.
So if the took a room they would still have $170 left in their pockets and a room for $80 a month but they would rather sleep under the over passes and create a crime zone.
It was one of these people that murdered my Ex’s niece a couple of years ago while she was waiting for the bus then tossed her into the canal.

If these places were closed off to these people then they would be forced to live better and create a safer place for them and us to live but no, they rather use their democratic rights to start up a fucken UNION and stay living in peril.

A Panhandlers union, I can’t believe it.
Democracy at its finest.
The world is going to hell but the homeless want to freeze their butts off under a cement tombstone.

Do you have to go to Pan Handling School and get a diploma to be a beggar?
You know, like learn how to hold the hat so that it looks like you haven’t eaten in a while and lack the strength to hold it in your weak fingers.

Learn the finer points of communication.
“Excuse me sir, can you spare some change for I have not eaten in days and am starving as is my dog”.

Well they couldn’t have been that starving, if they had been one of them wouldn’t be here because the other would have eaten him/dog by now.
If you are homeless and can’t feed yourself, WTF are you doing with a dog the size of CUJO.
They all have these big fucken dogs that look like they are a cross between a moose and a bear.
Smell like it too.

“Thank you Ms for your kindness and spare change, especially the pennies were. I can now look forward to finding another 400 of them to buy that gourmet coffee at Star Bucks I have been having the shakes thinking about. I have my own private table there”.

When you don’t give them what they feel is enough they make sure to thank you accordingly.

“You cheap fat fucker”

That is what one panhandler told one of my friends as he walked into the pub.
If the guy had been looking at my friend closely, whom he was yelling at, he would have might have recognised his social worker but naw, all they remember is the cheque.

They are taking the city to court so they could live like dogs in the cold.
People all over the world are trying to get out of the elements and live better but this bunch wants to live in the freezing cold, go figure.

We should take pictures of them living under there in the winter when it’s –45c and send copies of them to all of those underdeveloped countries to see.
They’ll think they’re better off where they are and not try and sneak in here.
More food for thought. HA HA HA

Have a nice day



Patti said...

A panhandlers union is fucking NUTS. I am still shaking my head in dismay.

Blazngfyre said...

Only in Canada.

lol .... :D

I'm not sure if i'm stunned by the ridiculousness of it .... or the genius! lol

Walker said...

Patti: I thought it was a joke until i started reading further into the paper.

Nuts is right but its what we get for living in a country which allows people have rights.

Walker said...

Blazngfyre: HEY give it time, it could be coming to a city near you LOL

It is something to think about isn't it.

Gypsy said...

A Panhandlers Union does sound crazy but what made me laugh the most was your take on what the world would be like if there was no crime. It's so nuts that it actually made sense.

This is classic Walker. Thanks for the early morning chuckle.

Walker said...

Gypsy: The world is nuts.
The way it's set up right now, it's in accordance to how we live.
If one piece of it changed drastically, it would affect the who way society works and exists sending us into total disaray

Anonymous said...

Holy cow - that is just downright ridiculous. As my aunt used to say; I guess it would be "advantageous" to the homeless.

I got news for you though, buddy, the Mafia does have a union. That's all I'm gonna say; don't want to incriminate myself. hahaha

Will tell you this; how do you think I felt when a gun wielding, drunk guy, came up to my desk looking for Jimmy Hoffa. I mean, according to the vine, ol James had been put under concrete a longggg time ago. :)

Sally ummm anonymous...

Walker said...

Sally: Maybe he was looking for Jimmy Huffa the jewish Mutza ball salesman, total mistake LOL

Peter said...

Thats just too stupid for words Walker!!!!

The Troll said...

Do you still have "squeegee kids" up there? 3 of them accosted me at the Toronto airport. I tore one's arm off and beat the other two with the bloody stub.

Basically, "squeegee kids" are 20 something dopers who, without asking, pour what looks like urine on your windshield and then smear it around with a squeegee. Then demand to be paid.

Apparently, because they provide that "service" the Canuck Airport Police didn't consider them panhandlers.

upset waitress said...

Check it out. In my county you cannot panhandle unless you have a license. Haha You have to get a fucking permit. Needless to say, we have very few panhandlers. Accept those one shits that play jump rope with a waterhose for a quarter here and there.

Walker said...

Peter: I know it is but this is what we all voted for so.....we're fucked lol

Walker said...

The Troll: Sadly no we don't.
It's a horrible story.
The Squeegee Kids massacre in China Town is one of our darkest secrets.
The Squeegee Kids had been pestering drivers for a couple of years causing traffic problems so city council decided to have them chased from every downtown corner in the city by police and were slowly being forced towards China Town and their destruction.

Not ever being in China Town, the Squeegee Kids were not familiar with the driving habits of the Asia drivers in the area.
Don’t get me wrong, not all Asians are terrible drivers.
Asian Canadians who were born here are scared to drive down to China Town fearing they may be run over or get into an accident.
The Asians that were born here, drive like all the other Canadians that were born here.

It’s the immigrants, the ones that come from countries where they understand the language when they read the signs but here by the time they looks up the word STOP in the dictionary, there is a dead Squeegee Kid on the yellow line in the center of the road

The city officials knew what they were doing when they had the police force the Squeegee Kids into China Town.
It was planned.
This was their big chance to be rid of those pesky Squeegee Kids once and for all and they never had a chance.

You would think that the Squeegee Kids would wonder why every oriental person walking down the street has these THICK glasses but when the same person is driving they aren’t wearing any glasses when they are driving.

So the answer to your question is no, we have no more Squeegee Kids, just Panhandlers with a Union.

Walker said...

upset waitress: We have to do something.
I was in Vancouver two years ago and there were heaps of them just laying out on the sidewalks.
They should charge them rent or something.

nachtwache said...

We should get some money from the other provinces, because we seem to get the bums from anywhere east of B.C. out here. Vancouver has one of the mildest climates in Canada, so it's "go west, young man" and then the Ocean stops them from keeping on going.
Of course, many should be in a mental clinic, but it was too cruel to house and feed them against their will. I'm sure they're much happier dirty, cold and hungry.
A union, do they pay dues? Some of them earn more money than many working stiffs, tax free!
Only in Canada is right. Thank the bloody liberals for that.

BikerCandy said...

I loved your scenario of the world without crime. Really makes you think that's for sure.

As for the union...I'm speechless...which says something!

Walker said...

nachtwache: I think B.C. should and I have witnessed the amount of bums that live there on the street.
Here they break the law and wait to get caught to go to jail for the winter

Walker said...

BikerCandy: Our biggest problem is that we focus to much and certain things and if something happened and they changed we would be screwed.