It Ain't Heavy, It's My Brother's ©

“Sip” ahhhhhhhhhhhhh a nice stiff scotch, straight up with just a drop of water, just what I needed.

All the moving is done and I only broke two bones and pull one muscle.
Thursday, Rick came by and we moved the three projection TVs.
A month ago my smart-ass brother promised my kids that he was going to give them a TV.
My brother has this habit of making promises to people and not following through but my kids not being in my life for the last eight years have gone without and I didn’t like him teasing them with the things everyone else has and they don’t, soooooooooo.
Thursday while my brother was still working I had Rick stop by and we did some moving to prepare for the weekend, when we had the truck and were going to move Mike and move some stuff over to my Ex.’s.

First we moved the 40-inch wide screen I bought too replace the one that croaked on me two years ago, upstairs.
It wasn’t that heavy, no more than 170 pounds I would say and between the two of us it was a piece of cake.

Upstairs in the bedroom, I had another 40 inch TV like the one that died on me that I bought last year from my brother.
I only bought it because he owned it for 12 years and only turned in on a dozen times or so because no sooner had he bought it he ended up living with the SIL and the TV stayed in his room at my mother’s place since that time.
The only reason he sold it to me was because he bought his friend’s 52 in TV to put back in its place.

This TV was heavier than the last one and Rick made sure I knew that but I countered with that it was Mike that helped me carry it up there.
Rick not wanting to be outdone by Mike who is half his size said that if Mike could do it so could he and grabbed one end and picked it up.
I heard him grunt or it could have been his body settling under the added weight but he picked it up and we carried the 250 pound TV as high as we could hold it to get over the banister and then down the stairs depositing it at the door.
Rick didn’t want to put it down he wanted to go straight and put it where the other one was but I told him that this one was going to the Ex’s place.

He gave me a puzzled look and asked what I was going to put in the big empty space that was there now.
I passed him a beer.
Then I told him we had one more TV to move but we could rest a little bit before that.
Rick sucked his beer back like someone breaths then asked me where the TV was.
I passed him another beer and told him it was next door at my parent’s place.

After he finished his beer, about ten minutes, we got up and went next door to get the TV.
My mother met us at the door; she knew we were coming for the TV and why I was taking it.
I had told her about what my brother did and she agreed with me, not to mention she wanted the monster out of her house.

We went upstairs then to my brother’s room where I stood next to the TV; Rick was paralysed at the door.
He said this TV, was really big, bigger than the last two.
I told him it just looked that way; I knew I should have given him one more beer.

We pushed the TV to the center of the room then bent down and picked up the TV, well I picked up my end, when I asked Rick why he hadn’t picked up his yet he said he was lifting it.

I put my end down and walk around the TV and went to plan “B”.
It was heavy, a lot heavier that the last two that we moved and Rick is in his fifties and I’m no spring chicken either.
I pushed the TV as far as I could down the hallway but we still had to pick it up to get it over the banister and infront of the stairs but there my father can give a hand on his end.

In one quick move giving it our all we got it up and over without a problem until he let go of the TV and it went down the stairs like a freight train with me infront of it trying to stop it but I was wearing socks and sliding down the steps on the carpet like a moguler bouncing down the side of a snowy cliff with an avalanche chasing him.

I manage to use the banister for support but the TV landed on my left foot.
All I wanted to do at that moment was swear and dance around the room but first I had to get the TV off of my foot.
Broken bone number one, on top of the foot.
I was playing with it, moving it back and forth with my finger and my mother and Rick telling me to stop before the fainted.
My father thought it was fascinating.
If I had a hammer in my hand I would have shared his fascination with him on his foot.

I stuck my foot back in my shoe and tightened the laces as much as I could; we still had to bring the TV next door.
As we were carrying the TV out of the house the phone ring, it was my brother.
I could hear her telling him we were there taking out the TV.
Then I heard her say that it was the TV in his room.
Then she said, no I didn’t give her any money to give him and wasn’t going to.
Then she told him he should just keep his mouth quiet next time and he wouldn’t have problems.
HA HA HA
That’ll teach him not to make promises he wasn’t planning to keep

Luckily moving the TV next door went without a hitch but my foot was giving me some problems when I finally got to sit down.
I have broken my bones in my foot before and there is not much they could do about it in the past so I just taped it up and that was it then try and stay off of it as much as I could……after the move that is.

Rick pounded back a couple more beers while I set up the TV in the spot vacated by the one I took up stairs and when I was done so was he.
It’s his way of saying I was out of beer.
I got up and I told him I would see him the next day at 5 pm when we were moving Mike.
As soon as he left I hit the couch and stayed there watching the new TV until it was time for me to hop to bed.

The next day Mike showed up here about 4:30 pm so we could go pick up the truck from the Quebec side.
After renting the truck we picked up Rick and headed to his father place for ”The Couch”.
This is the couch that tried to kill me three times and almost succeeded the last time but I go luck when my leg got caught on the step and lay there hanging upside down out the back of the truck.

Today I was ready for it; I know it hates me so I will use that to my advantage.
We had to lower the couch from the second floor balcony to the laneway next to the building so we went upstairs to his parents place where Mike and Rick tied it up.
When they had done I pushed them aside and checked the knots one more time myself.
This thing was a big HUGE leather couch and I was the one that had to be at the bottom to guide it down and softly lay it on the ground.
After making sure the lines was snug and tight we brought it outside first and put it at the point where we will be lowering it from.
With it in place I went downstairs and told them to tip it over the side slowly

WHOOOOOSH!!!!!!!!
CRACK!!!!!!!!!!!
THUD!!

WTF!!!!!!!!!!/

I said SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

The couch came down so fast I barely had time to jump out of the way when it hit the ground on it’s end where I was standing before.
Mike yelled down if the couch was Ok.
Yeah the fucken couch is fine and so am I thank you very much.
This couch hates me.

They came down after rearranging Mike’s parent’s living room back to the way it was before the couch was here and came down to help me load it in the truck.
It was only a short drive to where he lived, two blocks.
We got out and went inside to start loading the truck when Mike’s sister and her BF showed up and he stayed to help us.
I have know her new BF for the last 40 years and they just hooked up this last year after knowing each other for 30 years.

With three of us it went quickly until we got to the last piece of furniture, the love chair, or as I call it, son of devil couch.
I remember how hard it was to get in here and now here I was trying to get it out again in less than a year.
First we lined it up at the door and then charged but that didn’t work.
When we got back up off of the ground we tried to force it through like we did the other time and managed to squeeze it through with only minor damage to the wall but I managed to smash the top joint of my right middle finger.
Bad news is I think it’s broken.
The good new is that now that the finger is bent to the left, when I give people the finger it’s like saying “up your sideways” to them.

When we had everything secured in the truck we went to Mike’s ne3w place and the move in went quickly and with out incident, mostly because his apartment was the first one next to the door and everything went in perfectly even the fucken couch.

It was about this time Mike’s sister came over just as Mike was saying we should go to the pub one day and have a beer.
His sister looked at her BF and told him that not under any circumstances was he ever to go out drinking with either her brother or me.
Oh well, at least we offered.

We sat around for a couple of hour having a few pints and a couple of pizza pies before I drove Rick home in Mike’s car and we all headed off to bed because in the morning we were doing this again.
This time I was dropping off the TV, a chest freezer and entertainment center to my Ex.’s place and picking up my parent’s new bed from the store.

I got lucky in the morning when my cousin called and asked him if he could pick up the bed with his pickup on his way to the downtown and he said he would and help set it up for them
That was one problem out of the way.
The three of us loaded the three items on the truck with little problem but there was one.
The cab of the truck only had two seats so Rick grabbed my computer chair and Mike opened a small panel behind the seats that opens the back of the truck to the front of the cab.
Rick put the chair in the opening and sat there holding onto the sides of the opening.
We were scooting down the road talking and looking forward to finally being done with all of this moving and get the truck back so we could finally get some rest.
Mike stopped at the lights and Rick pulled out his smokes and stuck one in his mouth and put the pack back into his pocket then came out with his light.
The lights turned green and Mike hit the gas.
Rick lit the cigarette and the computer chair, which was on wheels, took off like a rocket and slammed into the back door with Rick in it.
Mike hit the breaks and Rick was sailing back to the front with both feet on the ground trying to slow him down before he went through the opening and out the front windshield.
This only goes to show the dangers of smoking, something I don’t do any more.

We got to the Ex.’s place and started unloading the truck one last time.
We had to carry the TV up a flight of marble steps but we didn’t think it would be a problem until Rick popped his knee half way and let go.
Mike was on the other side asking why the TV was getting heavier and tilting towards him.
I tried to stabilize the weight and managed to quickly get it up to the top without dropping it but I pulled my calf muscle again, well it’s never really been the same since that car hit me last year.

The TV was the biggest problem and heaviest, the others went up easy and within the hour Mike Rick and I were on our way to drop off the truck but first we had to stop and get Mike’s car at my place.
When I got out of the truck he asked me if I knew where the place was and I said I remembered how to get there and took off to get his car with Rick in tow.
He wanted a beer for the road.
As soon as he inhaled the beer we took the car and went off to Quebec to pick up Mike.

On the way to the Truck rental place we passed Mike at the gas station two blocks from the place filling the truck up.
I pulled into the lot and waited for Mike he shouldn’t be more than ten minutes since he was two blocks away.

Thirty Minutes later Rick and I are out of the car and standing on the road looking in the direction of where Mike should be coming from but we couldn’t see him.
I started walking up the street to the gas station but there was no Mike or Truck there.
WTF, where was he?

Forty-five minutes go by and still no Mike and just then a rental truck like the one we used went by us up the way we were looking.
Naw it couldn’t be Mike, he is supposed to be coming towards us.
We wait and wait and we see a truck in the distance like our rental and it passes right past us and we can see Mike’s Toque and know it’s him but he just drove on past.

WTF

It was another ten minutes before we spotted him pulling into the lot and he told us he forgot where the place was.
He was driving past us and didn’t see us standing there on the street looking for him.

He dropped the keys off and we headed on home.

Before walking into my place I went to my parents to see how it went with the bed.
I called out when I entered the house and my mother told me to go upstairs.
When I got there they were both sitting on the side of the bed freaking out.
This is one hell of a bed let me tell you.
It has to be two feet off of the ground and they both can’t reach the floor when they are sitting on the side.
My mother was saying she now needs a footstool to get in and out of bed.
What can I say, I said maybe my father could lie down on the floor and let him step on him to get into bed every night HA HA HA
Ok, he wasn’t smiling so I don’t think he thought it was funny, especially when he thinks my mother walks all over him now.

So that was my nice and quiet weekend.
Mike is moved intp a new apartment.
My Ex got a new projection TV, a chest freezer and a entertainment center.
My parents got a new bed they are scaredc to get out of.
As for me, well I got this here joint you see and I think I will be lighting it up and if I am lucky I could close my eyes and hook up with that red head I was dreaming about the other night.

I need a vacation

Have a nice day.

Walker