blue moon (2)

Friday, September 21, 2007

No Time To Post ©

I am tired and sore all over so I can’t sit here and write a weekend post.
I still have a lot to do before my guest arrives on Monday much of which has nothing to do with her at all but with the shop being closed down and I am the only one doing the work while my brother who had the day off today sat outside vacuuming his jeep.
He did make sure to remind me that there was only ten days left and he was paid to move so I better get moving.
I’d like to be moving his bowels up six inches with my boot.

I got a lot done there yesterday with the help of my father.
Well he kind of helped.
He brought the measuring tape.
My brother bought this expensive workbench that he never used and is still in the box and told my father he can take it but it had to go to my father and not me.

Personally I don’t need it and I have lots of workspace down stairs but I don’t look at him not wanting me to have it but I look at it like the way my brother thinks.
You see the house my parents live in will one day be theirs and the one I am in is mine.
It hasn’t been said as much in words but it’s generally understood to be that way so by giving the table to my father would actually be giving it to himself and he wouldn’t have to carry the 200 fucken pound box filled with pieces that need assembly.
That’s what I see.

So the plan is, we both go next door and move the boxes that have been packed already to my place and any other large items that don’t need packing.
We go to the shop and I let us in.
My father pulls a measuring tape out of his pocket and starts to measure the outside of the box.

He says the table is 54 inches wide.
I tell him no it’s 48 inches because the box is bigger than the contents so that it could fit into it.
No, he insists that I am wrong.
I point to the side of the box where it says the table is 48 x 24 inches.
He takes out the measuring tape again and starts measuring the box.

I picked up a box and walked it out and around the cars to my porch.
Did I mention my brother uses my parking spot for his car, hmmm?
This was the plan, we move everything out that we can from the store to my porch and I would slowly bring it in and place it in the basement in its right place so if I need to find something I would know where to go look.

I navigate the route back to the store, pass my father who is still measuring the box and grab another box of stuff to carry out.
He tells me that his measurements are the same, the box must be wrong.
I stare at him as I walk back to my place to deposit the load.

Back in the store, the box is now flat on the floor with my father hovering over it measuring it again, just in case it shrinks when it’s flat on the floor I guess.
I grab another box and hobble out the door.
I can only use the right leg so much without the brace right now but the weather has been nicer and I have had some relief from what it was a week ago.

At the store my father tells me that the box is two inches shorter when it’s the ground.
Give me that fucken measuring tape.
I measure the box and he was right it was shorter.


The box was now 50 inches instead of 54.
I am no rocket scientist but I am not that stupid.
I pick up the box and a measure it the way it was before and it was 50 inches to.
There, I knew I wasn’t going nuts.
My father took the measuring tape from me and said I was measuring it wrong and then measured it diagonally.


I told him that’s not the way to measure it and he told me yes it was.
That’s the way the measure the area of a TV.

I was wrong I am going nuts.

I told him that’s how they measure round things, not square ones.
I grabbed a box and shook my head all the way to my place.
My mother was out there and got me a glass of water; it was a hot day today and perfect for moving.

I went back and forth to the store three more times and I had everything that I could move that day over on the porch ready to be brought into my house.
Back at the store I told my father we were leaving.
He looked at me and said he thought we were going to move stuff over to my place.
Yeah we did, you measure the time; I carried the stuff.
Then he says we should move the table to his place from the back, so I said ok.
I walk around and grab my end while he bends down and grabs his.
Then he stands up and says he can’t do it, it’s too heavy.

I guess it is for him now at 79; the table weighs 200 pounds, so he decides to open the box and carry the pieces over little by little.
WTF, why not, I open the box and it’s filled with a million pieces.
Ok maybe not a million but they were all alphabetized according to steps and I had M-4 in my hand and there was a M-1 to 3.
It took us about forty-five minutes to run the table to the back in pieces, yes pieces and guess who will have to assembly it.

After the table is all moved I locked the store up and started bringing the things on the porch into the house and slowly to the basement.
That took me about 3 hours to move and place it in its new home.

I had barely finished getting everything put away when the phone rang and my mother asking me to go over.
When I get there my father looked at me and said he doesn’t want the table and I was to take it next door.

Ha Ha Ha, no way in hell was I going to move it.
As luck would have it my brother showed up and an argument broke out about the table.
They are both alike they want to have their way at the other person’s expense usually mine.
When I left I could hear my brother saying that he would find room in the basement and will assemble it, that I got to see.

Today I woke up to the phone once more and it was my mother wanting to go shopping and after that I went back to work at the store.
If possible I would like to get it done by the weekends end so that I wouldn’t have to leave my guest alone; that would be rude of me.

So with all that time invested into working at the store, I have no time to sit here and write a post for you to read so you will have to forgive me and accept this excuse for my lack of posting.

Have a nice weekend



nachtwache said...

That's quite a post for not having time :) Did your brother pay you to move his stuff? Or is he giving the stuff to you since it's going to your house? I'm just wondering why you're doing the moving and he doesn't help. You have a great chance at letting him grow up. Don't touch that workbench!! Let him put it together. No matter who asks you to do it. His wife must be pulling her hair out with such an immature, self-absorbed husband.
Enjoy the weekend and your visitors!

Peter said...

Hi Walker, I have got behind with blogging and it doesn't look like improving for a couple of weeks.... just caught up with a few of your hilarious posts... you never cease to amaze me with the stories of your family, friends, life and exploits, hope it all goes well with those women I hear are moving in with you.... keep buying chocolate.

Jac said...

That is hell of a post you wrote said you have no time ?
I must be crazy !

Anonymous Boxer said...

No need to apologize for not posting after that post! Get some rest before your guests arrive. Anyone ever tell you, you work too much?

Josie Two Shoes said...

Ahh, the "joys" of family - you have my understanding and my sympathies, Walker! LOL at your father and the box/table measurements too. My father would be the same, "Right" regardless of what the box says! LOL Will we be like that at their age??? YIKES!

Blazngfyre said...

What is it with Fathers and sons?!

As far as your brother is concerned, well .... he is the way he is, and (apparently) there is no changing him.

Ignore them both and just get rested before your guests arrive.

Gypsy said...

Don't worry Walker....this week you will be surrounded by estrogen and hormones instead of testosterone. I would love to see your mother's face as one by one your women visitors "move in"....LMAO. Maybe one of them could give you a good massage, sounds like you need one.