blue moon (2)

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Still House Sitting ©

Time date September 7 2007.
Thursday, three days after when Archie was supposed to be back from his holiday in Greece.
Is he here?
No.
Why?
I don’t know.

This adventure to the motherland began three weeks ago when I was given the keys to his castle of cards and told to perform numerous strenuous tasks suck as polishing off his bottle of Amaretto
The crown royal
Most of the Remi Martin and something without a label that tasted like paint thinner.
Oh and I took out the garbage once a week and watered his plants.

From his phone calls I could tell he was having a great time in Greece.
His first call was the day after he left when he left a message on my phone.
Walker I made it, I am in Greece

Aw that was nice.

Three days later I have another message on the machine.

Hey Walker, I called to say that I am swimming every morning and night before bed in the Mediterranean".

Hey that’s cool.

Fives days since arriving there is a message on my machine from Archie

Hey, I went to where your family comes from and I learned all the gossip about you”.

I have no idea what he is talking about, I was born here, he must be talking about someone else.

The first week goes by and the message light is flashing on the phone.

What the fuck, don’t you live there any more”?
All you fucken asshole don’t answer your phones any more
”.

That’s what happens when you swim too much and swallow a lot of salt water.

In the middle of the week the phone dance on the cradle and when I answered it, it was Archie.

He was happy to talk to me.
He spent a lot of time asking me about all his friends and if anyone was asking about him.
I could tell he was missing home so I told him everyone was stopping by and asking how you were doing and when you were coming back.
Even the police asked.
WHAT!!!!!!!
Ha!
Just kidding, call me an asshole that’s what you get.

We talked for bit and I brought him up to speed about his rent and stuff and assured him he still had a home and plants and a little booze still left.
WHAT!!!!
I’m not joking this time, HA!

You give me the keys to the car and I will bring it back to you without a scratch but if you give me the keys to the bar and there will be dents all over it HA HA HA.

I didn’t hear from him after that for about a week when he called to tell me when he was leaving and arriving back home.
Well that’s not entirely true.
I heard from on the day he was leaving when I got a message on the machine from Arch telling me that he was in Athens and they weren’t letting him on the plane because he lacked one document.
The document I have told him he needed before her left the country
The document that his friend said he really didn’t need as long as the immigration officials could access it on the computer
The document that can’t be accessed by the computer
They document I TOLD him to send for in January because they were backlogged but his faith in government coupled by his tardiness stalled him until he had two months to leave before he applied.
The document that arrived in his mail the other day.
The one he needs now to come home.
Twit

Now he is coming back next Monday and I will watch his place it’s no big deal.
But the problem is that Archie has a lot of friends and they know he should be back.
They keep asking me where he is but Archie asked me not to tell anyone what is going on.

They have begun to come to my house to ask me where he is and why he is not back home.
So the other day I was sitting here feeling a little goofy when M came by to ask me where Archie was.
I told him I didn’t really know because it was a secret.
I told him that you never know what could happen in Greece and Archie never did go to do his military service when it was his turn and they could have grabbed him for that and are now forcing his fat butt through boot camp.

He looked at me in disbelief and asked if they could do that and I said they could do anything they want over there and it doesn’t matter in Archie is 58.
They’ll make a soldier out of him.
Actually they could make three out of him.

So he took off and I sat back and talked with Leti.
About an hour later the phone rings and it’s Mike, he was calling to tell me the news.
What news?
Archie was arrested at the airport and thrown in jail
WHAT!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, for not serving in the army.

Huh, they can’t do that he is to old, who told you that?

His brother told him and said D told his brother who heard it at the Greek café, M was telling everyone there.

Oh Oh

I told Mike Archie was not in jail and that I told M as a joke that that might have happened.
Mike was laughing his butt off on the phone.
As soon as I hung up my mother called to tell me that Mike’s brother called her to tell them that Archie was not allowed to come into the country and was in jail for trying to enter Canada.

Gezz

I told my mother what I told Mike, they both, my mother and father were laughing next door.
Mike’s brother is a huge gossip and can spread a story in no time and he twists it every time he says it.
The story was quickly spreading through the Greek community like the wildfires now burning in Greece.

Cars were pulling infront of my house honking to get my attention then screaming from the street asking about Archie.

All I got to say is, Archie has got a lot of explaining to do when he gets back.
Leaving people in the dark to speculate about his where abouts and welfare.
Tisk Tisk

Have a nice day

Walker

13 comments:

nachtwache said...

Catching up on my reading, I see I'm behind.
You'll be fine. Go and enjoy some fun with your friends.
Take care!

Whitesnake said...

Well that put a smile on the dial

Sally said...

hahaha Yep, he's gonna have a lot of 'splaining to do. hahaha

Shaz said...

I love fueling the fire!!!!
How quickly tales are turned into huge gossip frenzies. What a crack up Archie will be inandated with people when he gets back its too funny.

Anonymous Boxer said...

I kinda wish I was Greek sometimes.

Gypsy said...

You are SO BAD Walker, yet strangely adorable....

PBS said...

Ha ha, "Keys to the bar..." You certainly can get a lot of fun out of life!

Vickie said...

All I have to say is I hear by swear not on the bible cause well you don't believe in God so maybe swearing on a a pair of thongs will work to never ever tell you a secret and ask you to keep it because it willbe all over "the community"---would that be the "blog community" here. You are such a special person to many, thank you for being you and bring joy to many. I am proud to be one to call you my friend and know you are my---you enrich and add so much to my life and others. So what Gossip yo spreading today?

patti_cake said...

You are a mean friend but a funny one! :)

gab said...

ahhh but wouldnt it be even funnier if they did nab him and force him into the army or whatever and you thought you were making it up? NOW THAT"D BE FUNNY! lol

Dotm said...

Hope Archie has a lot of fun times to tell you about when he gets home.

Lora_3 said...

Nice to see your still the same!

Be safe...
Lora

Peter said...

Hey Walker, did you hear that Archie has been put in jail for not doing his military service?