blue moon (2)

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Saturday Morning ©

The troops have left the building

The invasion of Quebec has begun.


But first they got to stop at Tim Horton’s coffee.

As I am here writing this post it makes it obvious that I didn’t go along and it’s not like they didn’t try but it’s the end of the month and I have to empty the shop by Sunday and you know I think the girls would have a great time without me around.

Sixteen of them are gathering in some remote village outside of Montreal for a big gathering of online backgammon players.
People who have been playing against each other for years and have never hooked up in person before.

Most belong to the same team and have battled in team competitions together for years and will finally be able to meet and laugh about some of the memorable moments they have shared together.
A lot has to be said about camaraderie on and off line.
Bonds of friendships grow strong no matter where you live.

I have so much I want to tell you but don’t know where to start.
This week has been a whirlwind and it’s not over, the girls had such a great time they are leaving Montreal a day early to come back for one more day here after they return Leti.

Leti, she made me laugh as she was leaving.
She didn’t say anything but had that look on her face when you send your kid out there for the first time on her own plastered across her face.

These people are all new to her but for a couple and the ones she will be meeting in Montreal will ALL be new to her, even her host.
I assured her it will all be fine and they will all take good care of her.

We have had a great time while she has been here so far.
The first day here I passed her the phone and told her she can call anywhere in the United States and Canada for free on my phone and she should take advantage of it and call everyone here she knows and she did, ha ha ha.

Let’s see ……… well the other day we ended up going to the art gallery.
I have never been in the new one they built so I thought it would be fun to go there and both take it in at the same time.
Let me tell you, technology never ceases to amaze me.
You walk up to the door and it swings open by itself for you to walk in like there was an invisible doorman standing next to it.
OH WAIT………………….!!!!!!!

Before we went in there was this giant sculpture of a spider infront of it which we both took turns taking pictures and standing under screaming like we were in some fifties movie being attacked by the giant beast.
We had drawn a bit of a crowd and other run under for pictures.
It only takes a couple of people to start a party.

THEN we went inside.
Before we started on our tour we decided to go to the washroom not knowing when we will have the chance again.
Inside the washroom the technology kept on surprising me.

After using the urinal I stepped back and a sensor told it I had stepped back and it flushed the thing and squirted some smelly aerosol in it.
Then I went to the sink to wash my hands and stood there staring at the soap dispenser trying to figure out how to get the fucken soap out of it.
I push down and it was immediately obvious the spout was fixed in that position.
I look around it and there was no other visible means of making it give soap.
I look at the tap and I remembered this type of tap, you have to put your hands under it and the water runs.
I look at the soap dispenser and wonder…….do you think?
I pass my hand under the spout and it does “PUT” and spits soap in the center of my palm.
I pass my hand under it again and “PUT” more soap.

Then I move my hand under the tap.
“SWOOSH” water poured over my hand
This is just amazing.
Over to the soap…..”PUT”
Soap ”PUT”

I look around the washroom and didn’t see anyone.

“We Will, We Will Rock You”!!!!!!!

“We Will, We Will Rock You”!!!!!!!

That’s when I heard a toilet flush in the back and out the door I went……”SLAM”.

Leti showed up shortly after I exited my stage and was telling me about the washroom and the spitting soap dispenser.
Yeah yeah I have seen all that before.
I told her that I would be even more impressed when they make a urinal that will pull it out for me then shake it when I am done and put it back.

We started our tour of the art gallery and quickly realized it would be better if we took the elevator to the third floor and walked DOWN it would be easier than crawling UP the steep incline to the third floor.
Did I mention we walked the three miles to the art gallery; my leg was strapped up nice and tight so I could walk on it without any problems but I wasn’t going to push it.

We walked from room to room in this huge glass structure admiring some of the works, others we made faces at each other when we looked at them.
There was this one massive painting of ten or so naked women rolling around in the clouds.
I told Leti that would look great in my hallway and to go grab the other end and help me lift it, but she took a closer inspection and said that before I take it I should see if I could have them pain bigger boobs on the women and you know, she was right, it did look a little light on the top.
It’s good to have friends around that know what you like.

We went into the section where they had the abstract art and sat in a chair while others were walking around and looking at this painting.
We looked at it this way and that and upside down.
A couple stopped were looking at it to.
Leti said it looked like an elephant with a long trunk.
I said it looked like a woman on her hands and knees asking the devils to give her a lick.
The couple turned and looked at me.
WHAT!!!!!!!! It’s true
I got up and walked to this huge painting and with my finger I pointed out her arms and legs and how she was on the ground doggie style looking back at the head of the devil, horns and all with his tongue out.
They all looked at it as I was pointing it out.
The wife of the man said “OMG”; her husband was staring at it closely.
Leti said all she sees is an elephant.

We got up and walked into the next room and both of us stop dead in our tracks.
Right there infront of us guarded by two security people was a urinal, probably the one they got from the washroom after they renovated.
I looked at the guards and asked them if this was the waiting line.

Leti started laughing, come on, a fucken urinal as a display.
HELL I make better artwork pissing in the snow on the way back from the pub at the end of the night during the winter.
Probably paid something ridiculous for it to.

The rest of the tour was nice especially the classic painters, I like looking at art and knowing what I am looking at.
I know there are many tastes and flavours in the world and we all like different things but I like my women with their boobs painted on the front and not where the armpits are because that’s one place I don’t care to be sucking for some titty.

After a couple of hours seeing as much as we could absorb we headed out for a couple of mocha chinos and hot apple pies.
We slowly walked back home looking through some of the stores that were open.
We went into one of the major souvenir stores that sell authentic native art and had a great time looking at the work that goes into to create some of the beautiful work they produce.

From there we stopped by the butcher and I bought some steak for a stir fry I was making for us as soon as we got home.

More to come…….

I hope you all have a nice weekend



nachtwache said...

Yes, people have different tastes, in art, food, humour ;). I prefer the classics too, I think it's much more challenging to paint real images, than abstract stuff. Monkeys and Kindergardeners can sometimes do that just as well, or better.
You really enjoyed the soap dispenser and sink, hmmm ? :)
That's great that it went so well and you all had a good time together.
Take care!

Gypsy said...

Note to Gypsy: When you go and visit Walker, get him to take you to the Art the time you get there, his wish to have the urinal "get it out and put it back in" should have been invented and I GOTTA SEE THAT!!!

That was bloody hilarious Walker. No wonder Leti has had such a great time, I bet she hasn't stopped laughing.

What a great experience for her to meet all her fellow backgammon players for the first time and for them to all go off and have a holiday together. Awesome!

Gypsy said...

I just read it again (did I mention I love a good laugh) and I forgot to mention the "shake it" part.

And also

Awesome post. Only you could turn a trip to an Art Gallery into a rollicking good post. Loved it.

Shaz said...

I agree with Gypsy this is too funny sounds like a memorable trip for Leti and you ;)

Anonymous Boxer said...

This is why I typically go straight to the gift shop.

Funny story - :-)

Sally said...

I'm glad you had a great time. I've seen the automatic water faucets, but not the soap. Ya'll must be like New York, and way ahead of us poor folks in the south. :)

Josie Two Shoes said...

Delightful read, Walker - sounds like you had a lovely time with the ladies, and I'm sure they will be telling the tales for years to come! :-)

having my cake said...

LMAO. Great fun! You gotta wonder how many people did actually pee in that urinal that they have to have two security guards on it al the time :)

patti_cake said...

Sounds like y'all are having a wonderful time. I don't like abstract art but I love pretty much everything else.
Don't laugh, they prolly will soon make a toilet that wipes/shakes for you LOL SCARY!

Blazngfyre said...

I don't find a particular style more appealing than another, but like music and food, it needs to evoke emotions.

THAT'S what I like about a good toilet! (LOL)

Susan said...

Im glad you had such a great time with Leti. You showed her a great time. I'm sure I am not the only one reading this who would have loved to have taken thet trip to the art gallery along with you!

Peter said...

You could really get pissed at some of that art.