blue moon (2)

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Frieday aka Drunk Post ©

Friday, Friday lovely Friday

Fuck it

Let’s party


A beer

A joint

Got some pussy

Hi Frick


I’m doing sweet fuck all today because that’s how I feel.
I am going to sit here are try and get Part 8 done and posted for tomorrow.
Yesterday I woke up early as I have been for the last could of months and wrote yesterdays post so fast so I could run to take care of business.
You could tell by the more than normal typos how fast I blazed through it.
Again congrats to all of you and if I had the time I would create a few awards so that I could give all of you one.

I don’t know how those people on award shows do it.
HOURS and HOURS of trying to figure out who will get an award then there is the organizing of the ceremony.
Then there is the Host who has to stand there for hours announcing the winners, not to mention the days of rehearsal before hand.
Is it all worth it?
Yes it is.

What else could I have done at 6 am other than laying in bed masturbating?
OMG I said masturbating, that’s to gentle a word, I meant whacking off?
Hmmm, that’s is a little too crude.
I know, a compromise.
What else could I have done at 6 am other than lying in bed whacking master?

Have you ever wondered how they pick the hosts for these award shows?
I have seen some great ones like for the Academy Awards, Billy Crystal, Jack Lemmon Fred Astaire, Whoopi Goldberg, Jack Benny, David Letterman, Johnny Carson and Bob Hope just to name a few.
As you can see most are comedians, I guess when you are telling people they lost you want them laughing first.

What would happen if they didn’t use comedians?
Say they used game show hosts instead.

Monty Hall:

Ok Jack, you have the nomination, that’s yours to take home with you right now if you decide to OR you can trade it in for what’s behind that curtain.

Well Monty being nominated by all my peers like my friend Tom Cruise, I love the little fucker.
We did a movie together once you know and Demi Moore was in it to, she’s a little fucker to “wink”.
Oh what the hell, I’ll go for it.

Jack, you have traded in your nomination for what’s behind the curtain and you have won fifty pounds of cherries.

Crap, now Cher will never leave my place.

Alex Trebek:

Winner of Best Picture in 2001 for 400
What was, A Beautiful Mind

Bob Barker:

Ok, the one closest to a dollar wins the Oscar.
If you get a dollar in a combination of one or two spins not only will you get the Oscar but you will also get a lifetime achievement award.

Then there are the post award parties, WOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!!!

I went to Archie’s

Bad mistake

Before Walker’s arrival at Archie’s

Archie: I can drink anyone under the table.
Mike: No you can’t
Archie: Yes I can
Mike: No you can’t
Archie: Who can drink more than me?
Mike: Walker can.
Archie: He doesn’t drink.
Mike: Now he doesn’t but I bet he can still drink you under the table.
Archie: No he can’t.
Mike: Yes he can.
Archie: Yeah, ok let’s see.

Phone rings.

Walker: Hello?
Archie: Hey little buddy, what are you doing?
Walker: Nothing much just doing some writing
Archie: Why don’t you come over, Mikey is here and Tom, Larry to.
Walker: I don’t know I got to get this story written for the weekend.
Archie: What, you would rather stay home talking to your internet friends than spending time with your buddies, it’s been ages since I seen you.
What are you anti social now or are too good for us?
Walker: Arch, I was there yesterday and the day before.
Archie: That was yesterday, the boys are here today.
Walker: Yeah ok, give me 20 minutes.

Archie: Ok Walker is coming, now we will see.
Mike: He won’t drink
Archie: Yes he will
Mike: No he won’t
Archie: Mikey why are you always so negative, he will drink?
Mike: No he won’t
Archie: I got some scotch
Mike: Oh…. he will drink

I got to Archie’s about 5:30pm and all the boys were there and there wasn’t a chair for me to sit on so I stood up against the counter.
Archie winked at me and in a soft voice told me I would have a chair soon, Larry was going to leave.

Larry got up and went to the washroom and Arch told Tom to tell that story about the gay Chinese boy.
Larry has this hang up with gays and when the boys want to get rid of him the get Tom to tell this story he made up 20 years ago.
20 years and Larry still hasn’t caught on that it’s all BS yet.

Larry sat in his chair and we all slowly started moving the conversation in a way as to have Tom speak and then it started.

Archie: Did you see all the rain and thunder yesterday, that was really scary.
Tom: You call that scary?
I’ll tell you scary.
When I was working on the ships we got caught in a monsoon around India and the ship was tossed around like a cork in a toilet.
This way and that way the boat swayed.
Tom was swaying back and forth as he told his story
Tom: We were lucky to get out of it alive and then we sailed into Honk Kong to unload and get some shore leave and she had a great time to.
I met this Chinese boy who was about 20 years old and he looked so soft and tender with these small soft lips and when you kissed them they were sweet like sugar.
Larry’s was getting this disgusted look on his face and you could see him holding back what he wanted to say.
Tom: He took me to his apartment and we lay in his bed and I kissed those sweet lips as I fucked him up the butt.
Larry: That’s it you are disgusting.
Larry got up, said goodbye and left.

Archie pointed to the chair and told me to have a seat then looked at Tom.
Archie: That was new the kissing and fucking at the same time.
Tom: Yeah I thought I would spice it up a bit.

Archie: So Walker, a drink?
Walker: No it’s ok
Archie: One drink a beer maybe
Walker: No no it’s fine, maybe some cold water

Archie got up and got a glass from the cupboard went to the counter and then put it infront of me
Walker: This doesn’t look like water or you have a bad problem with rust in your pipes.
Archie: That’s not water that's scotch
Oh, hmmm ok maybe just one but I want ice in this not waterand I want you to tell me why Larry is freaked out about gay people to.
Archie: A long time ago when we were in our lat twenties we went out at the club in Montreal.
We always went there on the weekends and partied, fucked drank like pigs.
Larry met this beautiful woman in one of the clubs.
We all wanted her but she liked Larry.
Anyway, after the clubs we went to get something to eat and Larry took her home.
They had sex all night, she liked it doggie style, drove Larry crazy fucking her like that.
Then they passed out.
In the morning Larry woke up and she wasn’t in bed but could hear the shower going.
He got up and went to the washroom to hop in the shower with her and when he opened the curtain she smiled at him and he her and then looked down and her cock was smiling at him.

I spat scotch all over the table and Mike was laughing his butt off to, this was the first time he heard it as well.
Walker: What did he do?
Archie: What do you think he did, he ran out of there and didn’t tell no one until a month later when he got drunk he told us after we kept bugging him about why he didn’t keep her for a girlfriend.

Walker: Wow that must have been bad, but funny as hell.
Archie: Funny, no that wasn’t funny.
Funny was about two months later when we went to McD’s and we gave our orders to the guy behind the counter and he was smiling at Larry and he asked him if he remembered him and Larry said no.
Larry looked hard at him and then it dawned on him, it was her/him and ran out of McD’s without his order.

Ha Ha Ha
I guess it could happen to anyone, I'm just glad it wasn't me.

Walker: Hey Arch this is Crown Royal
Archie: Yeah I ran out of scotch
Walker: Oh ok I love Crown to

7pm, Tom falls out of chair and Mikey carries him to the car and drives him home.

Walker: Hey Arch, this is Captain Morgan’s rum
Archie: Yeah I run out of Crown Royal
Walker: Oh, ok I love this rum to

Walker: Hey Arch can I have another drink
Archie: There is nothing left, you drank it all
Walker: Oh, well let me take you to the bar and I will buy you a couple.
Archie: No no I can’t drink anymore, where the fuck do you put it all.
Walker: I don’t know I just drink that’s it.
Archie: You got to go Walker, I am going to fall down soon, I need to lay down.
Walker: Sure bud thanks for the drinks.

I left the house and started walking home.
I was fucken PISSED!
Drunk as skunk.
Mike had told me Archie was going to try and get me drunk to see how much I could drink when Arch had gone to the washroom.
It took everything I had to try and sit straight and pour one more down.
I got to give it to him, he can drink a lot, I would have quit a long time sooner if I weren’t so mule headed.
I picked up a pizza to help soak up the contents of the three bottles of booze we drank before it burned a hole through my gut.



Dust rose up in the air as fluffy balls rolled passed.
Then out of the darkness two glowing orbs started moving towards me and they were getting bigger and bigger as they got closer and then they loomed over me and came down and bit my nose.
I got to vacuum under the bed later.

I came down and drank I don’t know how many glasses of water and am still drinking them.
I guess I might as well continue with what I was doing before I got the call from Archie.

Diego was sitting in his office thinking of all the years as a child with his mother.

Have a nice weekend

She had always protected him………



Lora_3 said...

I like the music!


Be safe...

Walker said...

Lora_3: I hope you liked the rest of the post to LOL
Yeah it'ds one of those fun songs i like

Vickie said...

All I'm saying is I heard a few snores:)

I see I got a drunk post but you did it after you passed out not before---oh well.

How is your head today?

Walker said...

Vickie: It wasn't me, it was Carl

Ha I woke up drunk, I passed out annialated LOL
Couldn;t eat my pizza either, someone poured to much jalopino sauce all over it.
Must have been gremlins and that's all I am saying

Anonymous Boxer said...

Funny. Very funny stuff.

It's why I'm a fan of the green.


Peter said...

Note to self; DON'T go out drinkin' with Walker!!!!!

nachtwache said...

Oh Walker, your poor liver. I'm slowly catching up with reading, you get me laughing and sometimes groaning with every post.
Life, why people have to make it so difficult, like your cousin. It's her brother's decision whom he wants to marry, not hers. She should support him. I laughed about your crapper story:) Too much jalopino on the guys go and learn all the same sort of stuff some place? I could tell some stories about hubby; my best friend's boyfriend is a lot like my hubby, they sure understand each other, they're the same age, same rebellious natures, same vices...well, hubby has quit smoking and he doesn't drink much anymore. Having Crohns disease has slowed him down some, and a good wife :) Take care, don't pickle that liver.

PBS said...

Always good stories over here! Hope you're feeling OK today!

Gypsy said...

It sounds like you had a good time and that's a good thing. You need to let loose once in a while and you were well overdue.

Jac said...

Did you say jack or jac ?
You Can't see the difference 'cause you are drunk like a skunk. LOL

Walker said...

Anonymous Boxer : I didn't have a hangover I find when i drink straight whiskey I don;t get them , but I to rather smoke a joint and lay back or go out rather than getting drunk and staggering home.

Walker said...

Peter: Oh come on, you'd love it.
Yopu have to learn to yell OPA!!!! every round though lol

Walker said...

nachtwache : I don;t drink that much usually and I spend alot of time refusing drinks and drinking water but sometimes, well let's just say you got to let the dog out for a walk or run.

Yeah I think i can handle the heat more when i am drunk but in actual fact I just dont feel it until the next day lol

Walker said...

PBS: Yes I feel great and I like trying to enjoy life. I guess they make for great stories :)

Walker said...

gypsy: Yes i have a great time even though i basically got dragged out.
I think everyone has to let loose once in a while to make life worth living for.

Walker said...

Jac: Hey buddy, nice to see you back.
Jac or Jack it doesn;t matter unless someone made you a Jill LOL

Shaz said...

AHHHHHH I read this and could of sworn I had commented. Sounds Like you had a ball I kinda miss the drunk relax thing and the pissy feeling but seriously. I don't miss the Hang Over LOL

Blazngfyre said...

Wellllll .... I guess someone decided to take my advice and party anyway!
Where's the knickers?
Why are you Whacking Master?
Shouldn't master be whacking YOU?!

By the way, ever heard an irish lass scream "OPA!" as she downs shot after shot of ouzo while dancing around in a bathing suit?!
It's a sight to behold, or so I'm told.

Hope your head is feeling better!

Walker said...

Shaz: Not to worry I loose more comments than I post sometimes with blogger. Yes I had fun, most of the time we do even though we don;t see eye to eye on many things.

Walker said...

Blazngfyre: Sorry no panty dancing yet but you wiull be the first one to know if I do.

It must be a sight to see but I didn't angels could scream without someone tickling their fancy lol

Teresa said...

I am sure your mummy is so proud!
I would have been dead if I would have drank that much. I am a cheap date. :)

Walker said...

Teresa: So am I usually but there comes a time when you got to have a hoot and a holler

nachtwache said...

:) Water is good. I'm with Teresa, I'd have died of alcohol poisoning, or puked all over the place. I'm a cheap drunk, well, maybe not. I like the expensive drinks, but I don't need much before I feel it; since I don't like getting sick or having a hangover, I learned a long time ago to limit myself to a couple of drinks.

Walker said...

nachtwache: Well it wouldn't be ther first time for me, I almost died of alcohol poisoning 3 years ago which led me to stay away from power drinking with my friends.
Now a am happy with water most of the time or a beer or to.