blue moon (2)

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Clap For The Wolfman ©

I was looking at my watch and I just noticed the time and date and would like to wish one of my favorite bloggers and friends a Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday Vickie
I think she turns 26 today or is that how many times she thinks Carl should jump her bones on her birthday, I hope Carl is still 26.
Why don't you scoot on over and wish her a Happy Birthday to and you could ask her is she is 26 or if that's how many times Carl has to jump her, but don't tell her I sent you.
She knows where I live and I can't hide.


This afternoon I managed to escape from murdering my brother and went for a walk to cool off in the hot afternoon sun.
As I normally do I stopped by Archie’s place to see what the boys were up to.
I had just managed walk through the door before Tom and Mike showed up.
We sat around the porch and Archie fetched out some beer for us to drink.
While talking I noticed Arch was a little down and asked him why he wasn’t his perky self as usual and he said he didn’t get much sleep the night before because he was waking up every hour.
I asked if his upstairs neighbour was having another fight with a hooker again and kept him up but he said no it wasn’t it was his Clapper.
I asked him why the Clapper was giving him a hard time and he refused to tell at first because it was embarrassing but after some coaxing and me telling him that I was sure that he had done more embarrassing things than what happened the night before so he agreed to tell us but we weren’t supposed to laugh.

Archie has a Clapper a device that when you clap it shuts off or turns on anything that’s attached to it.
Most people like Archie has his night light attached to it so when he is snug in his bed all he has to do is clap his hands and the nightlight goes off.
Sounds simple enough, right?

Archie is a light sleeper so when a light shines on him he gets woken up really easy and while he was asleep last night, his night light went on by it’s self waking Archie up.
He woke up staring at the light wondering why the hell it went on.
He lives alone so there was no one there to clap and Archie would hear someone in his bedroom applauding him and I think it’s been awhile since he had someone there to applaud him.
Clapping his hands once more the light went off leaving him in total darkness once more to fall asleep.

By the time on the clock it had been only forty-five minutes since he shut the lights off and went back to sleep before they came back on.
Archie was just pissed and howling at the nightlight.
He got out of bed and went to the kitchen for a smoke at 2am and when he was done went back to bed, clapped and the lights went off once more.
3:15 am Archie is spitting curses at the light and was on the verge of smashing it to bits before he clapped one more time sending him back to darkness.
This time he can’t sleep and just lays in bed, in the dark staring at the evil nightlight standing there in the corner laughing at him.
He knew it was just waiting for him to fall asleep once more so it could wake him up and torture him again but this time he is going to kill it.

Archie is a bit superstitious and many Greeks who were born in rural Greece are aswell.
Many still say the dead walk during the night and visit their old homes while people sleep.
Some have said they have seen lost family members and talked to them during the night as they lay in bed.
I think they have been dipping into the Ouzo a little to much personally but even my parents are superstitious with some things like, if I walked over my brother while he was laying on the floor they would make me pass over in the opposite direction or he would be cursed.
I think they got that part wrong, I think it’s we get cursed with him ha ha ha.
Anyhow as time passed by Archie started having these thoughts that he was being haunted by some demon that God sent to keep him up because of all the nasty things he had been calling him that day to get even.
His eyes scanned the room to see if he could detect anything out of place that would indicate that there was a supreme being in the room sent to taunt him but he didn’t notice anything out of place.
Just then some old jalopy drove past his window and backfired scaring Arch and making him first jump, then fart and the night light went on………..
From what I gathered Archie ate a pot of chilli the night before and every time he farted in his sleep the clapper would turn the light on.

We all sat there laughing so hard that tears were rolling down our faces and even as much as Archie was yelling at us that it wasn’t funny he was laughing to.
Who would have believed a story like that but what can I say, these are my friends, my life and anything can happen.
Maybe they could change the name to The Farter just for Archie.

Have a nice day



Peter said...

Those spirits will do it to you every time Walker, specially Ouzo.

Shaz said...

OMG I am absoloutely in fits of Laughter I have just had to go take something for a well deserved headache from my laughing fit. I have to say its well worth it. I am still getting the giggle up way down deep in my belly.
Awesome tell him I said Hi LMAO

Monica said...

Happy Birthday to Vickie.

Sounds like things are back to normal with you and your gang.

Take care of you.

Blazngfyre said...

I laughed so hard I think I farted too.

patti_cake said...

I am sitting here giggling like a FOOL. OMG that must have been some farts to make the clapper work!

nachtwache said...

That's soooo funny! I agree with patti-cake, must have been some farts...with your material, you could do a comedy show, it would be a hit! Now I'm going back to bed, I've caught hubby's cold, sniff.

Angel Without Wings said...

Thanks for the giggle, I really needed that.