Last Rights ©

10 pm Thursday evening has me sitting in my chair leg up on the footstool bored and driving Emme crazy with a feather duster when the phone rang.
Nothing good comes from my phone when it rings most of the time, so picking it up is like accepting the consequences that it will bring.
It’s true; here listen to some of this.

The phone rang one night and I was told my brother was in trouble so I went down to help him………..10 days in jail.

The phone rang one evening and Mike needed a ride……….high speed chase through town with cops popping out of everywhere.
Good thing they don’t have a helicopter here.

The phone ran one Friday night and was offered to be taken out to dinner and clubbing with a friend…………..At the end of dinner the restaurant owner brought me a pack of money while buddy was in the washroom and begged me not to hurt his family.
HUH?!
Seems Buddy invited me out to dinner to threaten people that owed him money with me without me knowing and could have gotten me killed in the process without me knowing why.
I gave the money back and lets just say buddy and I are not so buddy buddy no more.

The phone rang, Mad Dog invited Mike and I to a fishing trip…………. 24 hours later there is a bar 100 miles away trashed, one car totalled Mike is missing a piece of ear, Mad Dog is limping and I have a black eye.
The other guys, there were no other guys it was just us getting into an argument about what time we should wake up to go fishing.

The phone rang and it's my friend Philip, he wants us to help him move out of his father's house and when I get there with Mike I am greated at the door by his father pointing a rifle at my chest.
Mike is ducking behind the car, I have to tqalk him out of shooting me.
He didn't want his son to move out so he was going to shoot the mover, Fuck!

And that is just a small fraction of the times I have picked up the phone and said hello so you could see my apprehension in answering my phone………
So I picked it up anyway and here we are, me writing you this post about what happens when I answer my stupid phone.

My brother was on the phone trying to get me to go on a road trip 400 miles away to where my SIL is taking care of her father in the city he lives in.
Her father is sick and dieing and she is supposedly there to be with him so he won’t die alone.
Alone, he is not alone.
The truth is the man has been dieing for 10 years now but this looks like its finally going to happen.
My SIL is from there and her mother still lives there also.
Her sister lives here but they have all congregated over there now to be by his bedside.
He just got back from there and now he needs to go back to get my niece because the SIL has decided to stay there because she doesn’t trust anyone alone with her father.
Awwwwwww she wuvs daddy.
Hmmmmm

For those of you who are new here, I don’t really get alone with my SIL in fact the last time we talked I gave her the unrated version of what I think about her and all of a sudden the phone calls complaining stopped and she changed and has not become as bothersome to my parents.
The unrated version, let’s just say I don’t have a potty mouth, it’s more hellish when I get mad and cut loose.

Who is at this man’s bedside?
His ex wife and her BF
His wife and her BF
His oldest daughter who technically isn’t his daughter because his brother knocked up his wife while he was at work one day
His youngest daughter and her husband (This is the one that wants me to get her pregnant because her husband got himself fixed)
His grand Daughter and my 3-year old niece, for the record, the only sane person with any common sense in the room is, the 3-year old.

Let’s do a brief about ever one before I tell you what is going on over there so you can see how deep this goes.

The father: he has been battling cancer for the last ten years and has had more victories than he cares to remember but now has reached the end it seems.
He has been married twice in his life the second wife being 25 years his junior.
He is a quiet person and easy to get along with and very nice to be honest.
Knowing this man as well as I do I could honestly say he didn’t pass any of these qualities to any offspring from what I have noticed.

The ex wife: She has a PHD is psychology and is a fucken loon as far as I am concern.
I want to see this school that gave her a diploma.
I think her patients need more therapy after seeing her than they did before they went to see her.
The first time I met her she was wearing a see through nightgown with spike slippers.
She was sitting opposite me with one foot on the chair in front of her, legs spread with no panties on flashing me her naked bush.
Now I could stomach staring at her pussy but I had my 11-year-old stepson next to me choking on his tongue so I made the boy sit on the other side until the SIL came in and we gave her the Xmas gifts and got out of there.
I had to hold my Gf back from going over and killing her when she found out 3 second after the boy walked through the door.
Her new BF, he is one of those people whose thinks he is smarter than you are and knows better about everything and when you prove him wrong he goes into a tantrum and ejects you out of his house and won’t let your mother call you for years and hung up on the kids when they call, not allowing them to talk to their mother.
He doesn’t work just lives off of the mother like a leech

The current wife: They are separated but legally married she has and has had a BF even while she was still living with him.
She married him for his money and he knew it and he married her for the sex and she used it.
The fucking around he didn’t like which led to the separation.
She is the mortal enemy of the EX wife and has been from the start, I guess living right across the street from your husbands ex wife has it’s problems.
Her new BF is 15 years her junior, I wonder what he wants.

The SIL: is the oldest child but she really isn’t his daughter.
Her mother messed around with his brother and got pregnant and she is the result.
She calls him her father because he raised her, the brother just drifted after the deed.
The SIL is a space cadet and many of you have read on these pages in the past.
The woman is a walking fruit loop.
She has said things to me and shown things to me I didn’t want to hear or see and she wasn’t shy about it she does it in public or in front of my brother like stripping naked to show me her body while my brother is screaming at her to put her clothes on to telling people at the pub she shows me her boobs all the time and they could ask me if they want to know what they look like.
Then there was the horror story with my niece and her BS almost got the kid killed.
My SIL like being the center of attention and uses disease as the subject of almost every conversation she starts fishing for pity I guess.

The Sister: She is waaaaaaaaay out there in left field like the SIL and mother.
It’s obvious the fruit didn’t fall far from the tree, that’s if the fell at all.
They could still be up there rotting on the vine.
Like her sister and mother she is a beautiful airhead.
She loves to drink and call me in the middle of the night and try to talk me into getting her pregnant because her husband didn’t want any more kids after his first wife ran off on him with the kids.
Knowing him as I do he did society a favour.
The guy is a hopeless drunk who drinks and drives and one day, if he is lucky will only kill himself.
Now he wasn’t always fucked up like this, his mother messed his brains up when a couple of years ago while sitting at Xmas dinner she told him the man sitting at the other end of the table that he has been calling dad all of his life wasn’t really his father but the next door neighbour who he hates was.
His father was shooting blanks so she went and got knocked up by her Italian neighbour.

Then there is my cute little niece, that’s all the needs to be said on that.
Oh and my brother but he is not there yet, he would just add a little more asshole effect to the mix.
He is one of those people who says shit and then asks some next to him to interpret to him what he said.

CAN YOU FEEL THE LOOOOOOOOOVE?!

Ok now you all have the players in this post.
Last week the old man woke up from his drug induced coma in his hospital bed to the voice of his ex wife calling out to him to wake up.
“Wake up honey it’s me”
He almost had a stroke his ex wife called him something other than bastard.
He opened his eyes to see his ex wife holding his hand at his bedside bed with puppy eyes smiling down at him.
There was a man in a suit he didn’t recognise standing next to her, holding papers.
Smiling at him, she took the papers and a pen and tried to talk him into signing the papers so she could take care of his affairs for him if something happened.
The man with the suit leaned in and told him it was a Will giving everything to his ex wife.
He closed his eyes and pretended to pass out again.
He could hear his ex wife arguing with the lawyer telling him he shouldn’t have told her ex husband it was a Will but he told her it was his job to inform him.
He lay there playing possum until they were gone.
Then about an hour later his current wife came by to see him for the first time in a week.
She sat there talking to him for 5 minutes and then fished into her purse and pulled out some papers that she said needed his signature.
He started reading the papers but she stopped him saying he didn’t need to read them but he saw enough to know it was another Will.
He gave her some BS story and told her she could leave the papers there for him to sign later but she refused saying they may get lost besides she could bring them the next time she came to visit.
A couple of hours later the SIL and Amanda came by and stayed with her father.
He told her about what had transpired with his EX wife, her mother and his present wife and the SIL got mad that they would come and try and take advantage of him when he was sick.
She left the hospital that day and marched right to her mother’s house and got into a big fight.
He mother told her that the SIL had poisoned him against her and that he wasn’t going to leave her what was hers.
That’s when they got into it big time because when her parents divorced he left everything to his ex and walked out with only his suitcases and he made his money once more and now she wanted that to.
The SIL stormed out and went back across the street to her father’s place where she has been living the whole time.
The next day she went to the hospital to see her father to find her sister and BIL there already.
Her sister was talking to her father holding papers she wanted him to sign and all of a sudden the SIL went into kill mode and a HUGE fight erupted in the room.
Just then the ex wife walked in to see her daughters at each others throats over who what going to get what and she sided with the youngest daughter stating that he wasn’t even her real father which only fuelled her younger sister on.
While they were in the throws of battle the old man lay there watching all of this was happening in front of him.
Amanda, also in the room stood there watching her mother, aunt and grandmother yelling at each other at the top of her lungs.
She looked at her grandfather then went to the counter and brought him a glass of water to drink while the women fought.
They got smart after a bit and went outside to the visiting room where he couldn't hear them and continued to fight while strangers watched on.
They must have either got tired or came to some arraignment because they were all quiet when they returned to the room or shocked because his present wife was there trying to get him to sign the papers she had the day before.
Well that only got all of them started again with Amanda and the old man in the sidelines watching.
They all finally left the hospital and left the old man alone to get some rest.
That’s when my brother showed up the first time he went there
He didn’t know they were gone when he walked into the room and was relayed the days events by the old man.
A couple of days later the sister showed up and another fight ensued the sister found out the house her father was living in was in deeded in the SIL’s name so no one else could get their hands on it.
According to my brother this went on every day until he left and the day he was leaving to come back home with the SIL’s oldest daughter they noticed the garage door lock broken and the vintage Mercedes convertible missing.
They both knew who took that and the SIL stormed over to her mother’s house.
Her mother denied any knowledge of the whereabouts of the missing car but everyone knows it was the only thing she didn’t get in the divorce and wanted it.
Now it was missing.

Personally I don’t understand any of this.
I know for a fact when my parents pass away, my brother and I share everything equally.
If he wants to sell his share to me, would be more than happy to pay him off but he is my brother and even though I helped pay for this house and he didn’t he is still entitled to his equal share in my book, us being family.

In the last moments of someone’s life I would think that people would gather around him and make him happy to be alive and acknowledge that his life had meaning and substance at this final moment but all this man is getting is greedy bickering women hovering around his bed like vultures, who don’t give a fuck about anything but themselves and THAT is disgusting.

As for me, I’m not going.
I don’t care how much begging my brother and parents do, I’m not going.
I used to practically live in that place.
My EX is from there and……..that’s another story all in it’s self.

Have a nice weekend.


Walker