blue moon (2)

Saturday, August 19, 2006

BBQ-DAY ©

Today’s the day I have been planning for three months.
Family and friends will be piling in tonight for my annual bbq.
This will almost be the biggest I have ever had but this will be the most and largest selection of food I have ever had.
The house is clean….sorta…….as long as no one venture towards the basement and opens the door to the scent of Pine Sol, bleach, mothballs, my winter boots, two litter boxes and yes……….DEATH BARRELS.
I used so much pine sol on the stupid things I smell like a cheap hooker.

I got to deal with the cats.
I have to lock them up because they are housecats and don’t go outsides.
Frick may make a run for it and has in the past but Emme only makes it to the door and remembers her food dish and runs back into the kitchen.
I want to lock them in the bedrooms because the basement stinks but I know what I will find after.
How is it people can hold it for hours and animals can’t?
It’s because they don’t want to.
If you had to go and you couldn’t, you would hold it.
You’re trapped in an elevator with someone else for 8 hours.
Man, do you got to go
You’re walking around the elevator pretending you’re stretching your legs but in actual your are tensing up your groin muscles holding back the flood pushing up against that thin desire to open the gates but you can’t because you are not alone and if you were….. Someone is going to come through that elevator door eventually.
So you hold it.
You can’t even fart.
What are you going to say, “You did it”?
I don’t think they will believe you.
Imagine having to hold it for days.
FUCK.
Just think how strong your muscles will be after holding it for that long.
The first time you sit on the toilet it will be like sitting on a geyser.
You hear and feel the water churning between your legs.
Your butt will be so tight you’ll be able to crack walnuts and your pussy could spit peas across the room.

What’s the cat thinking locked in the bedroom?
The fucker has been making all this food for the past 2 weeks getting me hungry and now he locks me in a room where I can’t get any, what’s up with that?
I’m shitting on the floor.
Not on the bed, I sleep on that but right there just in front of the door where he can’t see it in time so he steps in it.
I hope it’s a wet one to.
Serve him right for changing my food on me.
And what’s the story with those big things he has in the basement next to my toilet.
Those things make my shit smell sweet.
That stupid Emme went over and licked one and her tail started twitching like the time mine did when I licked that box on the wall behind the TV.


Oh I got to go.
I will be back adding to this post over the weekend so catch you later.
Gezz, look at that…………….


It's 2:30 and I am ready at last.
I have recieved two plants via delivery so far.
I got 100 jelly shooters, two 24's of beer and more on its way ready and 20 people will be drinking so it should be a loud bbq by the end of the night.
Looks like i will be signing off for now until everyone leaves and see you all later here to tell you how it went.
We did almost loose one thing though as my mother was walking and she tripped and almost spilled this tray.....hmmm I can't upload a picture


Walker

6 comments:

Dotm said...

Have a great time at your BBQ. I checked out your recipes and thats a lot of work you are putting into the food. More like a feast I would say. You sure throw a great BBQ.

Miss Cellania said...

You riffing on the cats was hilarious! Have a wonderful time, can't wait to hear all the details!

hellbunny said...

Sounds like your ready for one awesome party

Walker said...

Hellbunny: ready hmmmm close maybe but it will be one Hell of a party.

Walker said...

Miss Cellania:Thanks, I love my cats :)

Walker said...

DotM: It was a feast and there was NO FOOD left over