blue moon (2)

Thursday, May 04, 2006

IPOD Love PT2 ©

So where did I leave you all yesterday?
Yes the phone call.
Wait first I want to address the person that said “toys for boys”.
From my comments I’d say, Girls like them too, so pthhhhh. (Just pretend there is a tongue flapping around right about here).
Now I gave you the afternoon yesterday and I have the evening or morning with Archie for now.
I’d ask for a vote but nothing would get posted tonight.

The phone rang and me being lazy I didn’t check the caller ID because if I would have, I would have let it ring.
But I’m Lazy.
It was my SIL and she was furious.
It seems my brother kidnapped my niece and went next door to my parents.
So now she was calling the police and having him charged.
Did I mention they live together?
She is calling the cops because my brother went to my parents place for a walk with his daughter and why is she calling me?
Because that’s what everyone does here.
Call Walker and fuckup his night.
Did I mention she wouldn’t shut up so I had to hang the phone up on her?

Let’s rewind it all back to lunch.
They were all at my mother’s house happy as pigs in shit.
Laughing joking, everything was cool just one big happy dysfunctional family.
Six hours later and the gates of hell opened up and spawned something fucken ugly.
It’s like a black cloud that comes over and sits on you making everything shit.

So there is only one thing I could do now.
Get the IPOD and get the hell out of Dodge baby because I’m the one that gets screwed every time they get into a fight.
I helped him move seven times from there in 12 years, three in one month.
Running around getting my jacket and the IPOD I lock up the house and walk out into the awaiting arms of the police.
I was only 5 minutes maybe 10, possibly 15, ok I couldn’t find my keys, crap.
You see, it only goes to show you that when you don’t really need a cop there is always one there.
She had called them before she called me.

ZZ TOP was pumping out Velcro Fly through the headset and that’s how I felt right now. Like a fly stuck.
The cop started asking me a bunch of questions but all I could hear is “Do the Velcro fly”
Slowly I reached down with my left hand, trying not to arise any suspicion from the cop.
Looking into his eyes I could see he had not detected the movement.
I extended my finger slowly to my belt and shut off the IPOD.

He wanted to know where my brother was.
Why he didn’t ask her I don’t know because she knew he was right next door to me with the kid.
I told him I didn’t know, smiled at him then turned on the IPOD again.
The theme music from The Good The Bad and the Ugly by Ennio Morricone starts up.

My brother walked out of my mother’s house and walked slowly with my niece in his arms towards my SIL and the cops.
If looks were weapons, they would both be dead because I’m telling you….the stares they were throwing at each other as my brother walking back home were toxic.
It was so hot in that dead silence between my parents house and his that all the fresh spring grass that had just grown is dead and gone now and I doubt if you would be able to grow anything there again for years.
He walked up to the cops, they talked and after some nodding he went home.
They went in and the cops drove off.
Fifteen seconds later and you could hear the yells outside.
Remember there is a 2 year old and fifteen year old in there too.

Le Tigre kicks in with the remake of “I’m so exited”

And I am.

I love my IPOD.

MMMMM what’s that sweet smell?
It’s the same smell from this morning when I was at Archie’s………….


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