Ding Dong
“BOOM BOOM BOOM “
Ding Dong
“Whoa Black Betty Bam ba lam…”
Knock Knock
“Whoa Black Betty Had a Child…..”
BANG BANG !!!!
“Woooooooo Hooooooooo!!!!”
What’s up Emme?
Looks like she thinks someone is at the door.
I walk over and open it and there is a piece of paper stuck to the door.
It’s from a courier company saying they tried to make a delivery and I wasn’t home.
FUCK, me and my loud music.
The paper says they will be back after the weekend on Wednesday, crap.
It’s an international delivery and it doesn’t say from WHOOOOO!
I am not expecting anything from anyone for at least another week.
So I don’t know who it’s from or what it is just like a surprise and I have to wait………………FUCK.
I don’t know about many of you even though I am a patient person there are times when I am not so patient.
It just eats me up when you KNOW it’s yours and it’s just on the other side of that glass out of your reach, then you have to WAIT to get it.
I don’t need to tell you how mad I was at Emme for not learning how to answer the door.
I pick up the phone and I call to see if I could get the driver to come back.
You never know.
After a 30 minute conversation we came to the conclusion that Wednesday isn’t really that far away now is it.
SHIT…….
Kicks stool
Stool knocks desk
Open bottle water falls off second ledge
Lands on laptop……….
LANDS ON LAPTOP!!!!!!!!!
FUCK FUCK FUCK
Thirty minutes later I am hooking up the Dell in the place once occupied by the Angel which is now hanging off the shower nozzle dripping into the bath tub.
It’s Thursday and Wednesday is the delivery day, I could do this.
Saturday:
Speculation is driving me nuts.
WHAT IS IT?!
I know so many people that could have sent me something but you don’t know from where it came from so you can’t narrow it down to try and guess who so you could ask.
I know I can go for a walk to Archie’s place.
Walking is not the same without Baby Blue.
I walk out the door and my mother is there and looks at me, then says you need a shave.
Yeah I do.
I walk up the street with the faint echoes of Marilyn Manson’s voice in my head, the last thing I heard come out of Baby Blue.
I get to Archie’s and he looks at me and tells me I need a shave.
Yeah I know.
Fifteen minutes later four people are sitting there trying to figure out what I was sent.
I should have not mentioned it.
They came up from drugs to a woman.
Yes, it was Archie who thinks that a courier would deliver a woman.
He must be confused with a pimp.
Well I had enough of their antics and left.
Sunday:
I have no nails left and I am getting really agitated.
Why didn't the wind blow the stupid paper away?
At least I wouldn’t be going crazy.
I go outside for a walk and wouldn’t you know my luck, there is Mrs. D’Angello.
She must be eighty and looks it too.
She was standing on the corner with two canes like a bull terrier ready to pouch in the street when the light changes.
Now she is going to want me to walk her across the street to Jane’s store.
Walker, venuto qui, helps me across a da street.
Hey Mrs. D, why don’t you just go to Henry’s?
Becausa I want to go to Jane’s.
I can remember her as a kid and she was a real bitch with all the kids.
Ok but I don’t know why you go there the way she talks behind your back.
Whacha she say abat me?
She said you beat all the kids at the park with your cane.
Who me, quell puta!
It’s just what I heard Mrs. D.
I never go der again.
She scuttled off towards Henry’s.
I guess she won't be asking me to walk her across anymore.
Pay back is a bitch.
Just then Jane came out and called at Mrs. D’Angello.
Mrs. D shook a cane in Jane’s direction and told her to go to the Helyou Beach or something like that; I was too far to hear.
Must be a new resort I haven’t heard of.
I walked for a bit and spent the rest of the night staring at the computer and thinking about WHAT THE PARCEL WAS.
Monday:
I looked like I have been stranded on a deserted island with Felix Unger and I am ready to kill someone.
I need a shave and a shower, maybe a haircut too.
I have decided to stay indoors for the next two days so I don’t cause a stampede and a panic throughout the neighborhood.
No one has called since Saturday fearing for their lives.
The cats are hiding and Emme doesn’t even want food.
Tic Toc Tic Toc…………………
Wednesday:
D-Day, as in Delivery Day
I am up at the crack of dawn, mostly because I haven’t gone to bed yet.
The front door is open and the MUSIC IS OFF.
8 am it’s been a long time since I been up this early.
I made breakfast and burnt the toast because I spent more time watching the door.
9 am still no package and have engrossed myself in a poker tournament.
11 am I am out of the tournament now, by loosing $300,000 with a three aces, bastard had a full house.
Noon and I am having lunch.
1 pm and I am now on the phone looking for the fucken driver with my internationalspecialdeliverypackagethatIdon’tknowwhatisinitandIwantit NOW!
Ding Dong
I look and there is a guy at the door and he is holding this BOX!
I sign for the delivery and close the door, pulled the shades, take the phone off the hook, lock the cats in the basement (they want everything I get) and shake the box, SWSBOP (Standard Walker Surprise Box Opening Procedure).
I gently rip the package to pieces to get into the box and open it up and………..
It’s …………………
BABY BLUE is back!
Wow that was fast.
Ok, all the nasty things I said about the Orchard I take back…….. until the next time of course.
Wow……..
I got to go walk Baby Blue.
I hope you all have a nice day.
Now where’s that Marilyn Manson song?
Walker
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