blue moon (2)

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

I love You GrandMa ©

I miss being a parent.
I miss the Christmas’ and the looks on their faces when they had to pick a gift they hadn’t opened yet to give to the Boys/Girls club.
I miss the “dad what is ………”
Or “Why is that…….
I guess it’s the little things I miss the most.
Tonight I got together with some of my trivia team and some of my closest friends and we had a blast.
One of the girls was worried about her grandson.
He has multiple disabilities.
He was born with, 1/3 of his brain missing, a cleft pallet, he is autistic; he has an eye that is stuck on one side and some other maladies like breathing problems and massive seizures.
My friend’s son has the child most of the time and accepts him as he is but the mother is another story.
For starters she is pissed that her ex (the boy’s father) just got married to a woman who doesn’t mind that he has a disable son, when she can’t find anyone who will accept her with a child with disabilities and thinks its because of her son that she can’t find someone.
I personally think it’s because she is a bitch and I know the woman enough to say that.
She has made it difficult for my friend to see her grandson at every possible opportunity even though the child asks for his grand mother.
The father has been forced to pay for childcare services because she refuses to let his mother watch the boy.
She wants the father to pay because he cant afford it.
While my friend’s son has been away on a one month training course she has taken claim of her son and forbidden my friend and his step mother any access to the boy only because she can do so.
That’s the only reason.
Now the mother of the boy has decided to have her son operated on so that they could straighten his eye.
It’s purely cosmetic. The boy is blind from that eye.
She says he looks retarded now and it bothers her being seen with him in public.
The fact that he has respiratory problems and that the anesthetic may kill the boy doesn’t bother her.
The last time he had seizures the doctors had to kill him in order to make the seizure stop them kick start his heart again.

This little boy who is 9 yrs old is a tough little guy for what he has gone through in his short life.
His life expectancy is short.
The doctors say if he sees 16 he will be lucky, so who gives a fuck if he is not perfect. Enjoy your child and celebrate his life.
Once he is gone, it’s for ever.
This is the sort of thing that gets me so fucken mad and screaming.
It brings out my violent side and I want a big fucken garbage truck to run over the bitch.
We should love our kids for who they are and with all their faults, that’s if you call them faults.
To me they are what you are born with and that’s all.
Just another part of who you are.
The boy is happy when I have met him.
He is crazy about his granny who spends heaps of time with him, that is when he is with his father and she is allowed to see him.
I have seen his face light up when his grand mother comes into the room.
I can’t understand how a mother would not want her son to be happy as he is with his grandmother.
I can’t understand how a person could be so selfish and uncaring by putting her prejudices ahead of her child’s happiness and health.
I can’t understand how a parent can be so selfish to jeopardize her child for her benefit.
I honestly believe if the boy was to die on the operating table it wouldn’t bother her a bit.

Let me tell you a little about this incredible boy.
He is 9 years old and is in grade one.
He does have learning disabilities but with time he has been learning
With all the obstacles placed in front of him he has managed to learn to deal with life as he knows it.
He has the hots for Halle Berry too but then who hasn’t LOL.
I gave him a poster I got from the movie Cat Woman and he says good night to her every night before bed.
His favorite movie is Toy Story and he recites the whole movie word for word as it is playing on the TV and he is standing in front of the mirror.
He is always smiling.
All in all he is happy, until he gets to his mother’s house.
So tonight I spent the evening with a woman who knows in 2 weeks she may loose her little man, her grandson because his mother doesn’t want to be seen in public with the boy.
I can see the pain in her face as she was telling all this to us.

I cannot begin to understand how it would be with a child with disabilities but I would like to think that I would be a good dad and be happy for the time I have with my child.
I think parents with disable children are the bravest people on earth. Except for a few that is.
I know many that have children with disabilities that struggle to make ends meet. They loose time at work and miss nights out with friends and sacrifice their social lives all together for the child. They get frustrated and almost go crazy but if you try and take their child away they would kill you.
I did ask my friend why her son didn’t go for full custody and she said that he did and she refused.
The boy is a great tax write off it seems.

During this time of year with Christmas coming up we should be thinking of happy thoughts and what we should be thankful for.
We should be pulling our families close for a hug and wishing for peace to the entire world.
That would be the perfect present.
We should be thinking of the good times gone by with family and friends and the good times to come.
But in some dark void there is a woman who is thinking of what may be lost and in another, Halle Berry is saying “good night little man”.


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