Gone Shopping ©

It’s been an interesting weekend.
It started slow but picked up. It drifted up a couple of notches by the hour.
It’s life in a Greek family.
Saturday started with a phone call from Lisa in the morning to say hi, which turned into an intense chat. You can use your imagination and if your imagination is good then you’re wet or hard depending on your equipment.
Right in the middle of it a phone call was coming in which I ignored. I had a different type of coming in mind.
After a 2 hour session we said our goodbyes and I checked to see who had called.
I didn’t really have to check it could only be one person at that time of the day and I was right it was my mother.
I went next door to see what she wanted and she asked me where I was.
I told her next door at which point she grilled me on why I didn’t pick up the phone when she called.
I told her I was talking to someone at the time to which she replied but you have the beep beep on the phone.
Yeah I do but I was beep beep at the time so I let it go.
My mother had a confused look on her face.
I asked her what she wanted.
She said she wanted to go shopping and we should take my fathers car and go.
Now my parents have a unique relationship.
They split the bills and pretend neither one of them has money.
Father: But you don’t have money.
Mother: I’m borrowing some off of Walker.
Father: He doesn’t have money.
Mother: He borrowed some.
Father: We are supposed to go to Helen’s today.
Mother: Umm, I phoned and told her we would go tomorrow.
Father: Well we can go tomorrow shopping first and then to Helens and not waste gas twice going to the same place.
My mother is getting checked at every corner.
She doesn’t want my father knowing she has money squirreled away and I am the only one that knows how to use her bank card.
Mother: We can’t go tomorrow because Walker needs to get some stuff for his trip.
Father: He can tell us what he wants and we will pick it up for him.
Mother: We can’t do that he has to try some things on.
Father: He can come too.
Mother: GIVE HIM THE KEYS TO THE CAR!!!!!!!!!
My father tossed the keys on the table and sank in his chair.
Off we went.

I needed to by some underwear, socks and some T-shirts
It just happened that day they were having a sale that wasn’t advertised, it was a surprise sale for that day only.
I got a great deal on the things I bought and saved a lot. Actually they were all free because my mother paid for them saying it was my Xmas present.
It’s funny, as kids we hated getting clothes and now it’s what I want.
At the underwear section I picked out some underwear and there was a pair I liked. Nothing you wear everyday, so I threw them in the cart.
My mother picked them up and looked at them.
Who are these for?
Me, why?
You’re not going to fit in these.
Yes I am.
You put these on and your eyeballs are going to fall out.
No they’re not, they’ll fit.
I walked over to the bikini briefs and held one up and told her.
I wear these.
Where?
What do you mean where?
Those wouldn’t fit your niece.
Oh bite me.
I took them and tossed them back in the cart.
We went around getting what we wanted and then headed home after paying.
We barely get through the door and my father was waiting and primed.
Father: Helen called and she said she was waiting for us and we didn’t show up. She said you didn’t call.
My mother was squirming now.
She had been pinched fibbing.
Mother: I called her yesterday, she must have forgotten.
Father: She said she hasn’t talked to you in a week.
Mother: Look at these Walker saved $50.
That did it.
You tell my father that money was saved and he forgets his name.
Then we said gas at the station just went down to 82 cents a liter and he was reaching for his jacket, Helen who?
So now I have half of what I need for my trip and it cost me nothing.
Oh I tried the underwear when I got home and they fit, HA!
I may need a new prescription for my glasses though the screen is a little blurry.
My Sunday started a little differently, but I’ll tell you about that tomorrow.

Walker