Say Ahhhhhhhh ©

Ever have such a good time that it goes by so fast that you never notice it.
Well this was the case for a friend of mine and a couple of friends of his.
This happened a long time ago close to 35 years ago and before I knew him.
There was a guy who was in financial trouble and asked someone to burn down his strip mall so he could collect the insurance.
The mall was the source of his problems apparently and with it gone he would pay off his mortgage and still have some money left and the property.
Now instead of getting someone who knew what they were doing, he got these guys he knew at the time to do it and offered them $25,000. Back then that was a lot of money.
There were four of them in all.
They had planned it on a Sunday when everything was closed and no one would get hurt.
There was no night security and they had the keys.
They decided that the fire would have to start in on of the food kiosks so it would look like and accident that happened over the weekend.
What they did was climb onto the roof and drill holes down into the section where they wanted the fire to start, then the poured gas through the holes and into the food stand.
While 2 of them were pouring the gas into the place two others had gone and broken into a dentist’s office looking for drugs.
Having found what drugs there were they started playing around with the equipment.
One put on the dentists jacket and the other sat in the chair pretending to be the patient.
Now they were already high on drugs and from the gas.
This is where they discovered the nitrous oxide.
So the one playing dentist drugged his buddy and then him self taking turns with the mask.
Well time flies and the 2 on the roof figured the others had left the building. They decided to light the fire and run.
They dropped a flare through the hole and took off.
Upon reaching the get away vehicle their friends were no where to be seen. They waited a bit and then took off thinking they had already left the scene.
The other two were still in the operating room of the dentist’s office laughing their butts off when they noticed the smoke and remembered about the burning down of the place that they were still in.
When they got into the hallway the place was full of thick choking smoke. They took off for the door and when they got outside they saw that the others had left them behind.
They split up and ran off to meet later at a pre arranged place.
One went towards the river and the other went to a tavern not far away.
Well it wasn’t long before the fire department showed up and the police.
Arson was determined immediately, seems flares don't burn up that easily and the fire department managed to contain the fire.
The police went out looking to see what they could find and upon reaching the river they hit pay dirt.
There they found buddy, lying on the grass smelling of gas, smoke and wearing a patient’s smock and still laughing his butt off from the nitrous oxide.
He was the only one caught and he didn’t give up his friends.
Now I was sitting there listening to the story and I asked him how much time he got?
He said more than he would have but he screwed up in court and probably got him an extra 3 years.
In his own words this is what he said.

I was sitting in court during the trial and I notice the judge winking at me.
I think WTF is he winking at me for?
So I figure the old bastard must be gay because this is going on for almost the whole trial.
Every time I look at him he stares back at me and winks.
So I figure I may be able to get off if I acknowledge the judges advances so I wink back.
Well, the judge sat straight up in his chair and gave me a hard look and at the end of the trial the found me guilty and I got 6 years for what my lawyer said I wouldn’t get more that 3.
The judge went nuts and read me the riot act then threw the book at me.

It appears the judge wasn’t winking at buddy but had a tic that made his eye twitch.
He did the full six years and that was the last time he went to jail.
Today he is a retired construction contractor living in a big house.


Walker