blue moon (2)

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Officer Columbo? ©

I have managed to get myself all in a knot today. Specifically in my neck so I am going to try and write a short post just to get my blogging fix in.
I’ll tell you a short story about a friend who needed quick cash and devised a simple scheme to make some.
Andy was in need for some cash by Xmas and was too lazy to go out there to make it.
He had quit his job a couple of years earlier because he got this notion that selling drugs was more profitable. It is if you know how to do it but Andy just didn’t.
I was talking to him one night and he was telling me he had a plan to make a couple of thousand so he could pay off the people he owed and have some left over for the holidays.
The alternative was to get his legs broken and spend Xmas in intensive care. So I guess he needed a good plan.
His idea was to go outside in the middle of the night and smash the car window and in the morning say that someone stole his $2500 car stereo and collect from the insurance. Since he didn’t have a car stereo in the car yet and there was a hole there for the one he was planning to put in, it sounded like a sure thing.
But this is Andy and Andy sucks at crime.
So at 2 am Andy went out in the middle of a blizzard and smashed his passenger side window and went inside to wait for 6 hours so he could call the police and report the theft.
6 hours later Andy makes the phone call and the police arrive.
He walks out to the car with him and the cop stops 30 feet from the car and looks at the scene.
Now I’m most certain that outside of a rookie, cops have seen it and heard it all.
The cop looks at Andy and asks him when he noticed the damage and Andy told him just when he called.
Then he asked Andy when the last time before that he saw his car and Andy told him around 8pm.
The cops then asked if he looked into the car and Andy said yes and that he saw the stereo had been removed.
The cop stood there 30 feet from the car and thought. He had not gone near the car since his arrival.
He turned to Andy and said, “It snowed last night until 3am. I know this because it was my shift. There are one set of tracks going to the car and one set coming back.
Now if you had gone and checked on the car this morning there would be 2 sets but since you didn’t go check it means you knew what you would find.
So given this information, you either took the stereo out before you came in at 8pm or had someone else do it for you.
So do you want me to file a police report or not?”
Andy looked at the cop for a second and said”No, it’s ok”.
The cop got into his cruiser and left Andy standing there looking at his busted window.


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