blue moon (2)

Sunday, October 16, 2005

I'm The Quiet Type Damn It ©

Hey there.
Give me a second here.
I’m counting how many fights I’ve been in.

I told Lisa a half dozen but I think I lied to her.

Now I wonder if I am supposed to count the ones as a kid because…. Well lets face it There were a couple of dozen there.

1,2,3,4… that time at church 5

The first fight I ever got into I was 7 or 8 years old.
There was this bully that used to take my dime everyday at school. He took everyone’s dime.
This guy was much, much bigger than me and he had a head like a football but the size of a medicine ball.
I had told my uncle about what was going on at school. He had noticed that I was kind of down all the time. He told me that I shouldn’t let people push me around because then people will always push you.
This was my father’s brother and the youngest.
He was 18 years old and a heart breaker, but that’s another post.
Anyway he told me that tomorrow when I went to school NOT to give him the money.
I told him about the size difference and I was promptly told that size means nothing.
First he said I was to kick him between the legs and then to start kicking him in the head when he was on the ground.
This was extreme to me then because I had never been in a fight before.
The next day I showed up to school with a dime in my pocket and the bully waiting for me.
He strolled up to me and asked for the money to which I told him NO.
He said he was going to pound the shit out of me.
I kicked him between the legs and he bent over.
Now my uncle said to kick him in the head when he went to the ground so I had to kick him there again because he was still standing.
Down he went, so I proceeded to kick him in the head.
Now again my uncle had screwed up because he didn’t tell me how many times I was to kick him so I kept it up until I was tired and then went inside.
The bully had to go to the nurse’s office and yours truly had to go to the principal’s office.
Now this to me was cool because I had never been to the principal’s office before and considered it an honor. I figured since I beat the bully up that I was going to get some sort of prize.
What I got was the strap, once on each hand.
It’s not much of a prize if you ask me and it didn’t end there.
The mother of the bully showed up at our house with her son and complained to my parents that I had brutalized her son and I got a beating from my father.
Well, looking back all I got to say is, I beat the bully WOOOHOOOO.

21, 22, 23, 24…….that time during gym class 25

There was this one time when I was coming home from middle school where I got jumped my two guys. They were 16-18 years old and I was 12 I think. They wanted me to give them my jacket and I refused.
So one of them punched me in the head but didn’t get me hard enough.
I dropped my books and started fighting back
Using my uncles skilled advice I kicked one in the nuts and he went down with the first kick (I had perfected it by now). I exchanged blows with the other.
I manage to knock him down and took off running.
I ran up to a friend and stopped. I told him what was happening and when I looked back I could see the 2 guys running after me.
I told him I had to go and took off.
I managed to get away safely home. Tired but none the worse for what I went through.
He next day at school I saw the guy I stopped to talk to and he had 2 black eyes. He said it was my fault because those 2 guys asked him for my address and he told them that he didn’t know and they beat the crap out of him for not telling.
He actually didn’t know.

41, 42, 43, 44…..oh yeah, that time in the park where the guy jumped out of a tree 45

I remember once I had gone to a local bar that was frequented by a rough lot of men. I knew most of the people there and walked around drinking and finding out what the newest scam that was being concocted.
Most of the time I spent with Leo, he wasn’t a close friend but he was a best friend to one of my best friends so I just took him as a friend. At some stage I had to go to the washroom.
Let’s face it your not drinking beer you’re just renting it.
While in the washroom I heard a ruckus.
I get outside in the hall way and there is a full scale war going on.
20 people in the throws of battle.
Chairs bottle knives everything was being used. (Sounds like one of my family gatherings)
I look across and saw Leo go down. He was being beat up by this bigger guy. Now Leo is a strong Irish hot tempered construction worker and to see him go down was a shock.
I run over and punch the guy fighting Leo knocking him to the ground.
Leo gets up and tells me to leave him alone and proceeds to pound the guy when another guy comes in and hits Leo from behind.
So I jump the new guy and Leo orders me to leave him alone to.
I asked Leo what his problem was and he told me they were his brothers and it was personal.
Ok I can understand that, so I asked him who wasn’t his brother and he pointed to his cousin and told me he didn’t like that one so I went over to fight him.
Later that evening while at Leo’s place (He shared a house with my best friend) I asked him what the fuck all the fighting was about?
This is how it started.
Leo and his brother had met this woman at a restaurant a couple of months earlier. His brother hit it off with the waitress and he took her home. After a few months he was tired of her and told her it was over.
Simple, right NOT?
She went over to Leo’s house and started screwing Leo now. Leo was a horn dog and would sleep with his brother’s wife and wouldn’t think twice about it.
That night she called up Leo’s brother and asked if he wanted to meet her at the bar. He told her to do what she liked. He had a new girl friend now. If she wanted to go she could do what she wanted.
Then she called Leo and arranged to meet him at the same bar.
Well, there is an unwritten rule that says you don’t touch what you brother/sister touched because it’s only come to trouble, something Leo never observed.
Leo’s brother walked in and the woman saw him. Leo greeted his brother and that woman walked up to Leo and kissed him. Then turned to his brother and told him that she was fucking Leo now and he was a better Lay.
This was when I was in the washroom.
The rest you know.

72, 73, 74, 75……..with the head bouncer at the rock bar 76

I may be here a while, catch you guys later

77, 78, 79…….the transvestite 80


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