blue moon (2)

Thursday, October 27, 2005

The D.T. Files Episode #5 Shit Happens ©

Today I have another episode of the Don't Tell Files.
This happened to my ex D.
She worked for the post office as a letter carrier.
This is a tough job by any standard.
She walked 13 km per day on her particular route carrying 2 bags holding a total of 20 kilos.
Her day started when she woke up at 5 am to get ready to be at work for 6 am.
This meant she got up brushed her teeth, had some coffee, toast and out to the car for her trip to work.
On this particular morning she had to go get her pants out of the dryer. Her daughter had taken them out of the washer and put them in the dryer for her the previous night while her mother slept.
Upon getting dressed she went to the car and turned the key.
This meant that she was going to have to wake up Walker to look at it.
After a close, sleepy inspection I deduced that the car wasn’t starting.
What do you want at 5:30 am?!
So D decided to take the bike.
She had biked to work all summer and she didn’t mind.
She grabbed the 2 wheeled steed and took off for work.

I went back to bed of course.
When I woke up I had a better look at the car and found the battery was dead and the alternator wasn’t charging it.
I borrowed my father’s car and went over and got a new one to install it before D got home. The battery was in the charger charging.

D goes to work everyday in the morning and sorts out the next day’s mail that she has to deliver. That day’s mail is being dropped off at the various mail boxes for her to get.
She did her route without incident but she had told me later that her pants had felt funny when she walked.
They had a kind of silky feel to them.
After work her driver picks her up and she goes back to the terminal to drop off the registered mail receipts and to get her bike for the ride home.
No sooner had she started home when it started to rain and rain hard, but she persisted and peddled home.

When she walked through the door this is what I saw.
D, covered from the waist down in suds.
LOTS of suds.
They were falling off of her in large clumps.
I started laughing but she was pissed.
She was pissed at the suds and of me laughing, to make things worse her daughter came in and started laughing at her also.
You couldn't help but laugh especially at the ever growing cloud coming from her crotch.
Well it wasn’t long before she stood in front of the mirror staring at the foaming pants and started laughing too.
After she had changed and showered, (BTW it's the cleanest she has ever been LOL) we went to the basement to look at the washing machine and we found that the breaker had gone off when it was changing water and my step daughter not knowing had put them in the dryer while they were full of soap. The rain and the rubbing material produced the cloudy suds.
I rewashed all the clothes that were still in the dryer and the pants of course.
I could just imagine her driving down the bicycle path foaming all over the place and people wondering what the fuck is that, as the foaming woman streaked down the parkway?
So remember if your clothes ever start foaming, go check your breakers.

Have a nice day


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