blue moon (2)

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Come Fly Away With Me ©

Twas a nice long weekend, spent with family and Lisa on the headset but now real life has to begin again.
Now all of last week I had been sorting out airfares for my trip to New Zealand, I think I have found the one I will be taking.
What had me scratching my head were the price differences even though we are all on the same plane?
Now I was thinking of flying with Air Canada. What swung me was the fact that Canadians understand the use of duct tape and I know there will be some onboard to take care of any technical problems. My flight will cost me roughly $3500 dollars but there are other seats that cost even more and are on the same plane.
Like there is a $4500 seat a $6000 seat and a $9000 seat.
So let’s speculate what the differences may be.

$9000 a seat passenger: I need a pillow please stewardess.
Stewardess: I’ll get one for you right now sir.
The Stewardess walks from the front section of the plane to the tail section.
Walker: Hi.
Stewardess: Give me that pillow.
Stewardess walks all the way to the front of the plane.
Stewardess: Here you go sir.
$9000 a seat passenger: Thank you, you’re so kind.

$6000 a seat passenger: Excuse me Stewardess Can I get a blanket please.
Stewardess: Yes Miss, I’ll be right back.
Stewardess walks from the near to front section of the plane to the tail section and removes Walkers blanket as he is sleeping in his seat and walks to the front.
Stewardess: Here you go. I hope this keeps you warm.
$6000 a seat passenger: Thank you, you’re so sweet and the service is so fast.

$4500 a seat passenger: Hi I was wondering I could bother you for some bottled water?
Stewardess: Aw sir it’s not a bother, it would be a pleasure.
Stewardess walks from the middle of the plane to the tail section and walks up to Walker. She takes the bottled water out of his hands and walks away.
Walker: HEY!! I bought that at the airport, its mine.
Stewardess: You can’t bring outside food onboard sir.
Stewardess walks to the center of the plane.
Stewardess: Here you go sir.
$4500 a seat passenger: Thanks, wow it cold too. You’re the best.
Stewardess: You’re welcome sir, we do try to please.

Walker: Excuse me Stewardess I went to the washroom and it’s broken. I was wondering if I could use the washroom at the other end.
Stewardess: NO!!!! That one is not for you. If yours is broken then you will just have to hold it until we land.
Walker: What!!!!!!!! This is a 31 hour flight. are you nuts?
Stewardess: To bad, now sit down or I will have the air Marshall zap you with the tazzer and tie you up.

The food carts start coming out and not soon enough because I am starving.

$9000 a seat passenger: Soup: seafood casserole Main course: Beef tenderloin with a light mushroom sauce and baked stuffed shrimp, steamed vegetables in a creamy but light garlic sauce and a side dish of fresh crisp salad with a light lemon oil dressing. For dessert there is Champagne Cocoa Truffles.

$6000 a seat passenger: Soup: Provencale Fish soup. Main course: Jumbo shrimp sautéed in butter on a bed of rice with a piece of grilled steak and vegetables. A Caesar salad and for dessert there is Crème Brule.

$4500 a seat passenger: Soup: French onion soup Main course: Grilled Chicken Breast smothered in white wine sauce on a bed of white rice, steamed vegetables a tossed salad and for dessert, chocolate cake.

Walker’s dinner: soup: tomato soup, grilled cheese sandwich on a bed of shredded iceberg lettuce and a Twinkie for dessert.

After diner the passengers lay back and relax. Its movie time and the Stewardesses are going around preparing for the showing.

$9000 seat passengers are watching: Where the truth lies released Oct 14 2005. A racy movie in which Kevin Bacon and Colin Firth hit the sack together for a threesome. Scary stuff. This drama finds a young reporter (Alison Lohman) investigating a murder that derailed the careers of two horn-dog comedians.

$6000 seat passengers are watching: Nine Lives, release date October 14 2005. One of those ensemble pieces with a complicated plot that's impossible to explain in less than three paragraphs, this indie drama packs a star-studded cast, including Glenn Close, Dakota Fanning, Holly Hunter, Sissy Spacek and Robin Wright Penn.

$4500 seat passengers are watching:Doom, release date October 21 2005. The Rock heads to Mars with a very large gun in order to kill a bunch of demons. Will this be the first video-game movie that doesn't get savaged by critics? Doubt it. But there is one thing that's a lock: Stuff will explode!

Walker: Excuse me Stewardess; what do I get to watch.
Stewardess: You again is it. You are becoming a bit of a problem. Why can’t you be like the rest of these nice people? Here.
Walker: What’s this?
Stewardess: your entertainment of course.
Walker: but this is a comic book.
Stewardess: That’s what you paid for.
Walker: FINE !!! I will read Richie Rich so bite me!!!!!
Air Marshall: Is there a problem here?
Walker: No.
Stewardess: Yes
Walker: Bitch!!!

I personally don’t care what the others get for their money because the only reason I’m on this flight is to get to Lisa and that’s that, so bring on the tomato soup.

Thank You for flying Walker Airways
Have a nice day.


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