The Magnificent 7's ©

I’ve had a thumping headache for the last two days and since I refuse to wax my chest to show some cleavage (besides Sara may like it hairy) I will try and put up a small post today and go lie down and read some blogs.
Actually I was tagged the other day by Chosha so I will do that.
I got to remember to pay her back for this one day.

The Magnificent 7's

Things I plan to do before I die:

1) Go to New Zealand (plan to stay there too).
2) Go into space without being on drugs.
3) Get married (I have someone in mind, won’t tell who though).
4) I want to box one round with a World class boxer (preferablly a dead one or close to it).
5) Be an extra in a movie( they may need a big Greek for to the possible sequel to MBFGW. It will be called My big Fat Greek Divorce).
6) I want to build a house from scratch by myself.(maybe I could talk mrhaney in giving me a hand).
7) To be with and Happy with the person I love.

7 things I can do:
1) Get into trouble with women I have never met or know or they don’t know either.
2) I can drive into a motionless wall with a car.
3) I can repair any computer and computer network. Except mine of course.
4) I can shoot the center of a target with a rifle at 500 yards. (Once every 1000 rounds)
5) Give sincere compliments.
6) I can cook. ( I can also make my butt sing after I eat it).
7) I can be a friend to someone who needs one (Saddam and Bin Laden are excluded).

7 things I cannot do:

1) I cannot get into a pair of 38 pants ( I can but my head would explode).
2) Go to bed without talking to Sara.
3) Hide from my family. I TRY !!!!!!!!.
4) Throw up and man do I wish I could sometimes.
5) Run a marathon. ( why bother when I can take a cab ).
6) Leave someone in trouble behind in a fight.
7) Fix the brakes on my car. Well I probably could but I want someone else to do it so I won’t blame myself if something happens).

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex/another person:

1) A happy person.
2) Smart
3) Independant
4) Love to dance and have fun
5) Beautiful eyes and lips
6) Great kisser to go with the lips
7) Live in New Zealand.

7 things I say most often:

1) FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2) NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3) FUCK NO!!!!!!!!!!!
4) He’s not my brother, so shoot him.
5) PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
6) Hello Babe
7) I Love You.

7 celebrity crushes:

1) Mo2nz
Who needs anyone else when I have Mo than enough..

Well that is it and as per my tradition I will tag no one and spare all of you the trouble. Now if any of you are the sadistic type and want to meme yourselves then by all means go for it, and don’t feel bad about going to Chosha’s site and tagging her with any memes that are laying around. LOL

There are no links for tonight. I do have a few people that deserve my and your attention but I will have some next week for you.

Fridays Jokes

You heard right I have 2. I couldn’t decide to be honest.

DON'T FART IN BEDTHIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEENHAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS.
THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THEHUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE.
THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR.EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK.
HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL.
SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR; SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT! THEN ONE CHRISTMAS MORNING AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE BOWL WHERE SHE HAD PUT THE TURKEYINNARDS AND NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS.
A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER. SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEPAND, GENTLY PULLING BACK THE BED COVERS, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS.
SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HISUSUAL TRUMPETING, WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOTSTEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATHROOM!
THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES!AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD.ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE.
SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER?
HE SAID, "HONEY, YOU WERE RIGHT." "ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU.""WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" ASKED HIS WIFE?
"WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED.BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE, AND THESE TWO FINGERS, I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN.

Sick Leave
Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey boss, I no come work today. I really sick. I got headache, stomachache, and my legs hurt.
"I no come work." The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and ask her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon.
You got nice house."


Have a nice weekend.

Walker